LostInIsolation

Hello everyone, My name is Derek, I am 38 years old, I have high functioning autism. I am uneducated, cant work, socialy akward and shy, I apologize as my social skill & ability to explain things is very poor. I had many disabilities growing up, including but not limited to autism, add, bi polar & many others. I was in & out mental wards, as a teen i was thrown around assisted living program to program and was abused by abusive staff, I was not able to get any education at all despite going a few times, my learning disability was too great. I have never had any real friends or girlfriend despite it being my ultimate fantasy to have a girlfriend. At age 23 i was on my own, single, friendless and lonely with many mental issues, my mother was the only one who understood me, she passed away a year ago & now I am truly alone but living with my father who i not comfortable talking to about anything personal. Today i am sadly 38 and honestly, hoping to die as soon as possible to escape the suffocating lonliness i face.

I am on no meds as they arn't needed & I am left with only autism, chronic isolation, chronic lonliness and severe depression now.