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I don’t know what am i

Lauran

Member
Hi everyone, I'm pretty new in this forum. I actually already wrote an introduction a few days ago, but I got an error, and all of my progress is lost. I was frustrated by that so much that I just never opened this forum again. But here I am now, probably having a shutdown. Idk, I don't think it's right to say it bc I don't even know what am I. I feel so desperate to reach out.

I'm Laura. A lot of my families are on the spectrum and I think I'm autistic or ADHD and dysparaxic. However, my parents won't let me take an assessment. They don't believe me, and they think it's a waste of money. Maybe I'll get an assessment when I can earn my own money. Because it's frustrating and I'm so confused. I may be autistic, I may be not.

I'm coping by making a novel, usually from my actual experience when I was a weirdo and a lonely kid who doesn't know how to socialize and even looks people in the eye. I learned how to mask now. That's pretty helpful eventho it's really tiring.
 
No young people do really know who they are, yet. Life will still put you through a lot to find out.
One of things as ASD was failing to assert myself or insisting on what I want. So if its important to you to diagnose then do it, I found being undiagnosed as years Rolex on id forget some of my difficulties was due to being on spectrum.
Good luck with novel, let us know how it progresses.
 
Hello & welcome.
However, my parents won't let me take an assessment. They don't believe me, and they think it's a waste of money. Maybe I'll get an assessment when I can earn my own money. Because it's frustrating and I'm so confused. I may be autistic, I may be not.
What country are you in?
Are you still in school, like college?
A school counselor can evaluate you for autism. They tend to be more autism-competent than their clinical counterparts.
 
Welcome to the forum @Lauran. I hope you have a good experience here. That’s really cool that you are working on a novel. It’s a great skill to be able to channel difficult feelings into creative projects.
 
I think seeking an assessment is a good idea if it leads to some insight, but often it does not much more than to put a label on you, with both positive and negative consequences.
 
Welcome to the fold, @Lauran

The guesses at what you are, may not be off. There are plenty of AuDHD(Autism with a ADHD comorbidity) folks here.

But to be specific about who you are. You are you. This will not make sense now. But fear through masking has taken it's toll. Seek you. Seek your spirit. Seek who you truly are. Explore, experience, learn, and love yourself.

Yes. A daignosis can help and even open alot of doors. But the rest is up to you as a person.

It's a wonderful thing you write. Art. Whether writing, drawing, painting, cooking, making music, building things, etc. It all is a expression of the soul. The true essence of who we truly are.

Whether joy or suffering. Drive or strife. Happiness or sadness. Anger or calm.

Be free. Drop your mask. Let it break. You are valuable. You are not unworthy of happiness. You are worthy of the hope that comes to all.

Breathe, for you are not alone. You are understood here.
 
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HI @Lauran Welcome to the Forums. We have a lot o people here and some with good taste in jokes and some with not so good taste.

Do make yourself at home among us, get to know us, and share more when you are ready.
 
Welcome @Lauran.
This is a very good place for reaching out to others and asking questions.
Everyone's road has been different, yet a lot of similarities can be seen.
I wasn't diagnosed until in mid-fifties. No one thought about autism much when I was a kid.

Finding out answered a lot of questions I had about my personality and life in general.
 
Sounds like you already know you are.
Take three or four of those online autism tests and compare the results.
It’s not an official diagnosis at all, but it will give you a pretty good idea.
Good luck.
 
No young people do really know who they are, yet. Life will still put you through a lot to find out.
One of things as ASD was failing to assert myself or insisting on what I want. So if its important to you to diagnose then do it, I found being undiagnosed as years Rolex on id forget some of my difficulties was due to being on spectrum.
Good luck with novel, let us know how it progresses
Thank youu. Yeah, I'll do that in the future. About my novel, it's pretty new actually since I wrote that. There have only been a few chapters (written in my native language). I do have a plan to translate that into English, but my grammar is so bad 😭
 
Hello & welcome.

What country are you in?
Are you still in school, like college?
A school counselor can evaluate you for autism. They tend to be more autism-competent than their clinical counterparts.
I'm from Indonesia. Well, they have a school counselor, but it's so bad that I don't think they're capable about it since my counselor doesn't even take psychology major 😭. I know that's hella weird, but it's actually pretty common in here because they're just expected to punish trouble maker.
I even used to get punished when I was a kid and don't know how to focus and make eye contact by the "school counselor".
 
Welcome to the fold, @Lauran

The guesses at what you are, may✨️ not be off. There are plenty of AuDHD(Autism with a ADHD comorbidity) folks here.

But to be specific about who you are. You are you. This will not make sense now. But fear through masking has taken it's toll. Seek you. Seek your spirit. Seek who you truly are. Explore, experience, learn, and love yourself.

Yes. A daignosis can help and even open alot of doors. But the rest is up to you as a person.

It's a wonderful thing you write. Art. Whether writing, drawing, painting, cooking, making music, building things, etc. It all is a expression of the soul. The true essence of who we truly are.

Whether joy or suffering. Drive or strife. Happiness or sadness. Anger or calm.

Be free. Drop your mask. Let it break. You are valuable. You are not unworthy of happiness. You are worthy of the hope that comes to all.

Breathe, for you are not alone. You are understood here.
Thank you for your advice, I get so emotional reading your comment. It's beautiful.
I'll try to be more honest with myself 😉✨
 
I know that's hella weird, but it's actually pretty common in here because they're just expected to punish trouble maker.
I am sorry to hear that. Is there no one to test for special education services, whether one is gifted, has learning disabilities or both?
 
Sounds like you already know you are.
Take three or four of those online autism tests and compare the results.
It’s not an official diagnosis at all, but it will give you a pretty good idea.
Good luck.
I have already taken some online tests since middle school and read the DSM 5, I just have so much trust issue with myself 🥲
In every online test I've taken (autism and ADHD), it says that I'm autistic and ADHD
 

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