Watching the tables turn

In just 3 days this week I’ve helped older people in my life sort out online order item undelivered requests, replacements and refunds, a holiday booking where the agency got the e-mail address wrong and a golf booking system that wouldn’t accept a birthday confirmation, then had a janky implementation of inputting a credit card number.

Easy to sort, barely 5 minutes in total for all those tasks and a happy outcome for the people who needed the help.

But it amplified something I’ve been noticing for a while now and something finally clicked: It is like looking into a mirror and seeing my past self.

Watching them struggle, try all the wrong processes, misunderstand and get nowhere. Watching them get flustered, embarrassed, confused and lost, while I come along and sort things out with a few taps on a screen. Even though I’ve never done any of those things before, I just magically know what to do.

In the past when affairs were conducted in person or over the phone, I had no idea where to go, what to do, what to say or who to say it to, yet everyone else just magically did, even if they had never been there before.

Now that affairs are conducted via sites or apps, other people have no idea where to tap, what to select, what to type or where to type it, yet I just magically do, even if I’ve never used the site or app before.

Years ago, someone else had to make my appointments for me because I couldn’t figure out how to do it via phone or in person. Now I have to make appointments for other people because they can’t figure out how to do it via a site or app.

It is nice too see things getting easier to navigate for me, but sad to see other people now struggle.

So now I make sure to do the best I can for other people. It would be hypocritical of me not to. After all, that was me at one time. I can empathise fully, I was that person years ago, struggling to navigate the world and getting lost. Now I’m the one steering the ship for other people struggling to navigate the online world.

Because I thirsted in the desert, I dug a well for others who would follow.

I read that somewhere as a teen. (Apparently the source hasn't yet been scanned in to any online databases yet, because Mr Google is unable to find it.)

But it was so profound to me that it became a life-goal. There is a great joy in helping others with their difficulties. Especially when you can do it for strangers who won't likely be able to reward you directly. It can take your mind off how terrible things are for yourself, knowing you have made things better for someone else.

To me, this seems like what much of this forum is about. There are so many people here that have overcome very difficult things and keep coming back to help others here on the forum. We are all at different stages of understanding ourselves and life with autism, and it seems like most folks share their experiences with the intent to help others.

Sure, some of what goes on here is just for the sake of enjoying each other’s virtual company, but so much of it is earnest support. None of us have to achieve perfect enlightenment to do this, but we can always look to our strengths and successes and consider how these things might help others.

I appreciate the folks here who show up day after day, ready to offer encouragement, tough love, or concrete advice. Others’ trials and the way in which they faced them become great inspiration and lessons for some of us. Hardship and pain is transformed into something so meaningful and useful to others. We all benefit from the cycle of using what we have experienced to help others.