Burnout and official diagnosis

I'm not even sure what I posted before.
I'm not even sure how long I haven't posted anything.

I'm going through burnout and can't seem to be able to get out of it.
The slightest tasks, even preparing the simplest sandwich because I know that I need to eat, make me feel exhausted.

I got my official diagnosis on Monday.
Autism and ADHD.

My psychologist explained everything to me, what symptoms are evidence of what. She says I have all of the traits of autism and don't have hyperactivity.

She explained everything to the smallest detail, but I still feel like an impostor.
I thought I'd feel relieved that I could finally start understanding myself.
But I just feel tired, and all I want to do is hide.

My family and friends don't really understand what I'm going through. So many of them keep saying that I just need to try harder. And I keep telling myself that maybe I should try harder.

But I just feel so tired.

HI @Neia

It is big bit of news you have had - be kind to yourself.
You now have official word that you are not an imposter - and that is good news.

It will take time to sink in

@Neia

You can review your own posts by going to your Profile, clicking Find,
and selecting either 'all content' or 'all threads. '

Nice to see you again, @Neia.

Hoping this new knowledge is ultimately helpful to you. Maybe we all can help support you as you navigate this next chapter.

She explained everything to the smallest detail, but I still feel like an impostor. I thought I'd feel relieved that I could finally start understanding myself. But I just feel tired, and all I want to do is hide.

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I wanted in the past to hide under the blanket or maybe, Rocky is hiding under his hut in snow (i don't remember this movie in my mind). Prophet Mohammed hid under his blanket when he started also, with Islam.

My family and friends don't really understand what I'm going through. So many of them keep saying that I just need to try harder. And I keep telling myself that maybe I should try harder.

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A student approaches a master of the martial arts for instruction. "Sifu," he says, "how long will it take me to become a master if I train hard and practice every day for three hours?"


"Ten years," replies the master.


"What? Ten years??? What about if I train hard and practice every day for six hours?"


"Twenty years," responds the master.


"Hold on, hold on," says the incredulous student. "What about if I train hard and practice every day for 10 hours, without fail? How long will it take me to become a master then?"


"Forty years," the master tells the student.

Welcome back, @Neia, good to see you posting again.

Firstly, congrats on getting your diagnosis. You took a great step and you got there. I hope it went as well for you as it did for me.

I went through a similar thing after my diagnosis. Maybe a burnout, but definitely some kind of come down.

I just assumed that I would be hanging up the Skype call and immediately logging in here to write a nice long heartfelt thank you post to everyone. But all I could manage at the time was a quick profile post update. It took me a few weeks to feel up to writing my long planned thank you and detailed update post.

That’s the thing I didn’t expect from my diagnosis: I was given a LOT more to process than I thought. Deeply personal stuff, some going all the way back to childhood. And a hugely detailed 18 page report to read. I spent years looking into autism before I got my diagnosis and thought I knew everything about my autistic self, yet I was given years more things to process.

Now, on to dealing with burnout.

Neia said:

But I just feel tired, and all I want to do is hide.

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I found that this is actually a healthy thing to do in the shorter term. It is how I deal with burnout. I avoid people and sink myself into my special interests.

Sorry I can’t be of help with the imposter syndrome, that’s not something I’ve ever experienced. But the clinician who diagnosed me talked about it and it is a common feeling.

Neia said:

My family and friends don't really understand what I'm going through. So many of them keep saying that I just need to try harder. And I keep telling myself that maybe I should try harder.

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Not right now. Now is the time to rest, take extra good care of yourself and slowly process your diagnosis.

Wishing you all the best on your continuing autism journey.

Hi Neia, good to see you again. I'm sorry for what you are going through.

Neia said:

My family and friends don't really understand what I'm going through. So many of them keep saying that I just need to try harder. And I keep telling myself that maybe I should try harder.

Click to expand...

That's the big mistake I made, I was always fairly well self disciplined and I was determined that I was going to have my life back, all I had to do was keep trying, keep pushing myself.

That's what led to my full burnout.

How is your life other than that? Are you living in your new house in the country? Are you still getting enough work to get by? Lots of other issues like these could also be adding to your stress levels.

I hope you can find the time and the peace you need to recover.

One of my own descriptions below:
------
Explaining sensory overload and burnout.

Look at the sun with your naked eyes for 1 minute. Yes, this will damage your eyes and you’ll have to spend several days in a darkened room in order for your eyes to heal.

The same effect happens if you damage your hearing, standing behind a jet engine without any hearing protection for example. In order to recover and heal from that damage you’ll have to spend several days in a very quiet environment.

It’s quite common for autistic people to have heightened senses which means we’re more susceptible to being damaged, not just with sight and hearing but also with the other senses, smell taste and touch. There is also another sense that many people fail to mention and fail to pay enough attention to – emotional sensitivity.

Emotional sensitivity affects us far more profoundly than any other sensitivity but it works the same way as hurting your eyes by staring at the sun. In order to recover from emotional overexposure we need to rest in an environment where there is minimal emotional context.

For many of us this means a quiet dark room and just staring at the wall for several hours, people coming in and checking on us and asking if we’re alright adds the emotional component that we need to be resting from.

Some people will try to say that autistic people lack empathy but the exact opposite is often true, we are hypersensitive to other people’s emotional states to the point that we can easily be overloaded and burn out.