AspieGamer408
New Member
Howdy, everyone! I am new to this server, but by no means new to all autism support groups. I would enjoy getting some perspectives on strategies that work for others who are on the spectrum and your feelings and emotions about living with autism, but also I long to make connections with others who are also on the spectrum. Since I was a kid, I knew I was unique and different than everyone else. I had uncommon gifts and my emotions were uncannily strong, so were my talents and energy. I tend to outlast the rest of my family and friends unfortunately. I am looking to maybe meet others like me. I am not sure if my hyperactivity and high levels of anxiety are more well related to my autism or well other disabilities, but I can easily do 48 hour days. Even my primary doctor says this is not healthy or normal. I am not sure what the solution is, but well even when I was a kid I would lay awake in bed at night and stare at the ceiling fan or watch the car lights pass the windows. I am 40 now, and well not much has changed. I heard every psychiatrist and medical source tell me autism is hardwired and for life, so does that mean I will be hyperactive and do 48 hour days for life. Not even meds stopped the 48 hour days. The meds tended to exaggerate my emotional disturbances, heighten my anxiety, and I had lots of negative side effects, dizziness, vertigo, and bad weight gain. The side effects outweighed the benefits. And I was using my willpower to do what the meds were unable to control. I am simply living out my wiring now instead of fighting it. I hear everyone my primary physician, my psychiatrist, my own mom and dad tell me it isn't good. I should fight my wiring and well make myself eat, shower, and well sleep regularly. I only do those things when I am able to. When I am in autistic burnout, I tend let regular self care go. My current situation is when I got back with my online gf even though our relationship is dead now, a glorified friendship I was able to at least brush my teeth, eat, and sleep somewhat more often. I see this is as a small victory, but well everyone else says I shouldn't date someone who treats me this way. We met in a virtual world I play online and as long as I have it I manage to survive without much if any real life interaction. I can't handle real life relationships anyways because of my autism. It is about my survival not the optimum romance or social life at this point. And she says it is ok if I see others on the side, so before that was the major issue that I couldn't remain exclusive with her. At this point, even though I have many talents, much knowledge (a jack of all trades sorta), and many skills mosty self taught I am not stable enough to work a job or live on my own. I know this is a long introduction, but I wanted to give everyone a good background and current status of my life as an autistic high functioning 40-year-old biological male.