Hi @Luca, I'm so sorry to hear you're having a difficult time right now. I hope things turn around for you soon. You may not realize it, but something inside has a reason all its own. Attending to it might help resolve it, so it doesn't come back.
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Asperger's & Autism Forum
GypsyMoth
AprilR
I am sorry to hear it. Do you have alexithymia as well?