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  1. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    Executive dysfunction

    I have always, and continue to, have problems with executive functioning. It is incredibly frustrating. Its like my mind is not capable of taking multiple moving parts and uniting them into a cohesive whole. I know all of the things I am supposed to do, I know how to do each individual thing...
  2. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    Depressive personality: how do you live with it?

    I have major depressive disorder. I'm not sure if that is the same thing you have, but it certainly gives me a depressive personality. Your therapist knows you, but they can't predict the future. "treatment resistant" does not mean it can't be treated or helped, just that it is usually...
  3. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    Do you prefer to do things with friends?

    You can be whatever you are, all aspies are different, just like all people, some are more social than others. I love being social, if I am comfortable and in the company of people who "get me" that I get along with. However If I am uncomfortable and/or feel like I can't relate to the people...
  4. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    Ongoing hearing loss

    Personally, I often do not perceive/understand sounds in the 'correct' way. It all sounds distorted. There is nothing wrong with my ears though, I know it is a processing issue. But if your experience is hearing loss that keeps getting worse, that sounds to me like an ear problem rather than...
  5. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    My gf has aspergers and keeps flipflopping about how she feels about me

    I can't speak for all people with ASD, but for me, it can be extremely hard to work out what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling. Often in the moment, I say "I don't know" and the answer doesn't occur to me until much later if ever at all, even when I am talking about myself. I also tend to say...
  6. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    Relating to children

    I think that feeling uncomfortable when you don't act the "expected" way is pretty common around here, just some situations bring it out more than others. I happen to be the opposite way: great with kids but endlessly awkward with adults. But if you are uncomfortable holding or gushing over the...
  7. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    Why is aspergers considered a "disability"

    To me, what makes something a disability is: if it interferes with my ability to function, and it is (at the very least) uncomfortable, and there is no way to "fix" it/cure it/make it no longer a problem. All of those apply to me personally, so I am disabled. But if you do not consider yourself...
  8. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    I can not imagine that kind of freedom. I mean anybody close to me is going to witness a meltdown. most people have not handled it well. I am always terrified that I will go too far and push away the people I care about. I can't even count how many times that has happened. Though that probably...
  9. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    I can usually tell when I am approaching overload stage. My problem however, is that I do not tend to try too hard to manage it unless it risks exploding at other people. I have always put so much energy toward seeming ok/normal/competent etc. because I learned that not doing so results in pain...
  10. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    Thank you for your post, it is really helpful. I agree about autistic people and mental hospitals. Both of my stays were before anybody had figured out I had autism. I melted down badly in front of the psychiatrist because he wouldn't listen to or believe what I was trying to tell him, was...
  11. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    You make a really good point about controlling versus working with autism. I guess I meant more like controlling the outward manifestations. I learned the hard way, many times over, that trying to suppress it will only make it more difficult in the long run. It is a lot, especially when the...
  12. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    There has to be some kind of third option out there. At least I hope there is. But if it exists I have yet to find it. Though I have yet to be formally diagnosed and offered any kind of therapy, so hopefully someday I can find a medium.
  13. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    I am steadily attempting to gain some control over some aspects of my life. And I have finally had to accept that my mother is going to be indispensable in helping me get a grip on some kind of adult life. I have been resisting her help because I am so ashamed that I am 26, living with my...
  14. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    Oh I agree, I am not in control of my life. Here's my problem though- The times when I have had the most control, or the least severe autism symptoms/behaviors were times when I was so severely depressed that I literally could not drag myself out of bed for anything other than bathroom, food...
  15. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    I used to be able to do that, became an expert at screaming silently and having invisible breakdowns, and had the same problem. I made everyone think I was fine, so of course nobody believes me when I start talking about having a problem. I had a severe mental breakdown a few months ago, and...
  16. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    I am always trying to seem, if not perfect, then appearing to be at least a functioning "normal" adult. Perfectionistic tendencies creep in, but I was in fact pushing myself way too hard, working a job that was breaking me, because I have to, but I can't. I am always stuck in that have to but...
  17. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    I get why people react badly to screaming, especially an adult, it is loud and scary and indicates(usually)that something is wrong. I don't get why the reaction is to stop the person screaming instead of trying to help them, but whatever. Thank you for the information about indicators of a...
  18. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    Thank you all for the kind words, advice and experience. Things are better with my mom and her boyfriend than I expected them to be. If nothing else it got us all talking again, because for a while there I was isolating hard and avoiding them. The reason I am so concerned is that I had a similar...
  19. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    Thank you, I had no idea those existed, I am looking into it now and going to make sure to get the information to my family in case something like this happens again. I appreciate the suggestion
  20. MaybeNotWhoKnows

    How to fix things with my family post-meltdown

    I had been precariously ok for a while, depression kicking my butt, but generally trending up. Then I had an extreme meltdown the other night. Extreme as in police were called, I was cuffed and strapped into an ambulance that took me to an emergency room. I managed (barely) to avoid a third stay...
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