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  1. Fridgemagnetman

    Ask me anything

    I've been here a while now,on and off. Whilst it would be somewhat arrogant of me to state that I know everything, I am saying that now. There isnt a single person alive that wouldnt benefit from my infinite wisdom. Today could be the most important day of your lives,simply because of the...
  2. Fridgemagnetman

    I've just put a pair of socks on my head.

    Dont worry they're rolled up. I will keep you updated.
  3. Fridgemagnetman

    Time Saver : List of people with their heads screwed yo

    Admission : I'm struggling with the list. I took myself literally and couldn't get away from the image of screwing peoples heads on and off. Then I thought about the box of lightbulbs in the garage which are all bayonet bulbs. We only have screwtops in the house. I just keep buying bayonet...
  4. Fridgemagnetman

    Expectations and thought patterns while frying bacon

    Petulant thought routine I have , I wanted to sit down and drink my tea. My wife really wants to contribute to cooking,as she can do so much less than she used too, She told me the prep I needed to do,for the meal she was doing. very simple. Onions and bacon. Easy for me to do. Yet my thought...
  5. Fridgemagnetman

    Your anger is a potato

    Many among you will know that I have a propensity to talk nonsense,involving different fruits and vegetables. Imagine discovering that none of it was actually nonsense. Fortunately, I already sitting down a d I ruined my reputation and street cred years ago. I came across an article by a zen...
  6. Fridgemagnetman

    Was it my conversation?

    In my first job, the guy sitting next to me killed himself. Was it my conversation? My best friend drank himself to death.. Was it my conversation? I have talked constantly to my wife for 18 years yet she's still not dead. What's gone wrong? Have I lost my touch?
  7. Fridgemagnetman

    What were your favourite countries when you were eight?

    I remember loving to look at our atlas. I loved it when I discovered Hungary, as I had been hungry. Then I discovered Turkey. I just loved thinking of the 2 countries and laughing. What were your favourites countries aged eight or lower? What are your first memories of looking at an...
  8. Fridgemagnetman

    I need a wheelchair and a cattle prod.

    Preferably a folding chair. Does anyone know where I can get both in the same place? I can't do two shops. Please don't make me do two shops. The people are swarming in summer. They're trying to stop me getting my magnets. So I need the cattle prod. But I can't do two shops.
  9. Fridgemagnetman

    Who do you look like? What's your nickname?

    There's a couple of people said to me I look like Ted Bundy. I had no idea who he was, so I looked him up. I look nothing like him. Then I realised : It must be the bodies I keep out back. Thats when i figured nicknames aren't always about who you look like - but what you do. Anyway, time for...
  10. Fridgemagnetman

    How do you trick yourself?

    I like to start each day with a challenge. Each night, I take off my slippers and put them together ready for the next day. I make sure to put the right one on the left side and the left one on the right side. So when I get up my slippers are my first challenge of the day. Obviously I am quite...
  11. Fridgemagnetman

    My wife says she has discovered the secret

    She tucked the covers in at the bottom of the bed. "Does that keep your feet still?" I thought for a while. "No. It's too stressful." I could feel the stress building up, not being able to move my feet and legs all about. The feet need to have the freedom to go beyond the end of the bed. Do...
  12. Fridgemagnetman

    Good news people

    I've stopped licking knives. Considering I am so clumsy and trip over standing still,each day can be filled with bruises from I know not where... I had a 2 inch scratch yesterday from walking past the fridge. There isn't even anything sharp on the fridge. A standard handle. So, I have...
  13. Fridgemagnetman

    Doors and Cupboards - Do you do this?

    I was flipping up my foot to close the dishwasher door,reaching over to open the cupboard to get a cup,closing the cupboard door - with a push with just enough power so that it closes quietly. Opened the fridge, pushing the door closed with just enough dtrrgnth so that it closes quietly... The...
  14. Fridgemagnetman

    Have you ever ....

    Washed your hair. Then immediately washed your hair again because you forgot you washed your hair. I have. Do I win anything?
  15. Fridgemagnetman

    They all say looks aren't everything,but what if...

    They all say that looks aren't everything. A nice reminder for all members of humanity. What if you're not human? What if you're a merman? What about Mer-manity? A myth is a story so powerful, that the tale is re-told through the generations. It takes on a life of its own growing a deeper...
  16. Fridgemagnetman

    Are you ready for this?

    Sit down. You might not be able to handle what you are about to read. I got a new fridge.
  17. Fridgemagnetman

    Can you predict anything anyone will ever say to you?

    Can you predict everything anyone will ever say to you? Long time no see. @sidd851 said hello be funny or something on my profile so here is this. wo reasons : I can’t maintain a pretend level of interest for longer than one second. I can’t break my habit of telling the truth, which seems to...
  18. Fridgemagnetman

    Did anyone else not realise that all those threads were games?

    After about a year of posting on the game threads it sank in. Or is it just me that's stupid?
  19. Fridgemagnetman

    Aspie Father's day Message

    Dear Father, I realise you were either foolish or made a choice. Either way it's time you realised your actions come with certain obligations. I cannot reasonably be expected to give praise for that. Nor should you expect it. Statistically you are average but I feel,praise can be given, you...
  20. Fridgemagnetman

    Spandex Head case covers

    I only heard of this yesterday . But what a great way to make your case stand out. This is not my face. This luggage cover rocks a giant photo of your face Hopefully this is not the only face available.
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