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  • Users: DanR
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  1. D

    Why are people okay with this?

    Bolletje: Thanks for your comment. And sorry, GrownupGirl that this post is getting a little off topic, but I feel it's important to answer this. I believe that truth is exclusive; things are either true or false. That is, it’s either true for everyone or it’s false for everyone. We don’t...
  2. D

    Why are people okay with this?

    Deep down, in our heart of hearts, we all know that we (individually, I mean) have done wrong. This sense of right and wrong is built in, so we all have this ruler by which we automatically measure and judge our own behavior. We accuse ourselves or excuse ourselves, but we always analyze...
  3. D

    Forgiving Oneself

    I think spectrum folks have a harder time letting things go. My NT wife and I were watching some show on Autism, and one character said to the Autie after a mistake: "No big deal." My wife latched right onto that, and now when I have trouble getting over a mistake, she'll repeat that back to...
  4. D

    Military

    But, hey, I see that this is your first post; welcome!!! You can see that we have a very open and opinionated community, so thanks for posting your question!
  5. D

    Military

    I was in the U.S. Navy (many years ago, without any understanding of my Aspergers). I believe the Navy (as it was then) was no place for an Aspie. I agree with Nitro's first comment. If you have sound issues (think drill instructors screaming and PA systems, klaxons, and alarms of various...
  6. D

    Strange Dreams?

    I've heard that the individual teeth usually represent the members of the team or the members of the family, so when one dreams of losing them, it's likely you're worried about losing someone near and dear. It's that feeling of being, or potentially being, abandoned by someone upon whom you...
  7. D

    hi I'm new here

    Welcome! The "should I tell?" "should I get a diagnosis?" discussions are big here, because they're big in the community. If you're surviving ok in the NT world, then telling your employer is probably a not-so-good idea; there's just no benefit. Getting a diagnosis only hurts in the budget...
  8. D

    Lack of Understanding Regarding Repetitive Actions and Routines

    Same here; I don't actually schedule out, but many do. I have a checklist on the fridge for the morning before work. I avoid getting to work only to find I forgot my billfold. I used to be embarrassed by having to keep a checklist, but then I thought "that's just me, the way I am; why fight...
  9. D

    Politics (not politicians) and waitresses...

    In a way, they are your customer: you tender your own currency (hours, attitude, and effort), and they provide you with goods ($, £, €, etc). You decide whether their price is too high (that is, if you have to give too much) for the goods they provide, or if it's a good deal for you. Thank...
  10. D

    Hi, new!

    Welcome! Glad to have all that are interested. Look around and join in the conversation!
  11. D

    Do you live your life via your Facebook or Twitter accounts?

    I have a FB account, but I only got it for "brand preservation." There's an individual out there with the same name as me, and he's somebody that companies probably wouldn't want to hire. If a potential employer searches for my name, I don't want them to find him! So I have an account, but I...
  12. D

    Hi, new and looking for help.

    By Jennifer Greenwood or by Eliza Green or by Jean Vanier? Somebody else?
  13. D

    Hi, new and looking for help.

    Welcome! Up at the top, single click on "Forums", then single click on "Search Forums", then scroll down to "Keywords" type in an issue you might be dealing with (like "anxiety" or "vocalizations" or whatever) Note: Near the bottom, "Child forums" doesn't mean children; it means forums that...
  14. D

    Politics (not politicians) and waitresses...

    I agree with Jimbo, but I think you should ask yourself whether this kind of company culture is where you want to excel. I put up with a terrible company culture because it paid the bills (almost), but I kept looking for another job while being the best employee I possibly could be while still...
  15. D

    My daughter is obsessed with a real actress

    Hi, First, I see this is your first post, so let me say: Welcome! As for your concern, it'll probably take some more info to elicit quality comments from the community, so how about... Is your daughter diagnosed on the spectrum? Does she have a therapist? Do you have a specific question that...
  16. D

    Lack of Understanding Regarding Repetitive Actions and Routines

    Repetitive actions might include rocking or flapping, or spinning things, or that kind of stuff. Actions that either must be done or that calm the mind. As far as routines go, how do you react when something messes up your schedule? A lot of people get real upset when the schedule is broken...
  17. D

    New here!

    Welcome! Some people here are diagnosed and some are not, but everybody seems welcome.
  18. D

    Meeting new people issues

    I really dislike the uncertainty that arises from trying to meet new people. I worked at a Help Desk, and the advantage of that kind of work was that people I didn't know would call me for a specific purpose. They weren't trying to make small talk; they wanted their problem solved (and that...
  19. D

    Should I show my face there ever again?

    Is your heart to clear the air with those people? To try to set things right? To let them know you've come to a new understanding, and that you weren't TRYING to be hurtful? If you walk away, that experience will always be a rock in your stomach, and the longer you let it go, the more...
  20. D

    about me, Sherri

    Welcome, Sherri! Your therapist wants you to start socializing and making new friends, and you want to know how to be sure your therapist is right. Well, people can think about it and talk about it all day, but the only way to know for sure is to try it. And you've made a big step here by...
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