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  1. Gwildor

    difficulties empathizing with my boyfriend

    I have been told I lack empathy and tend to offend people when I don't mean to. I hoped Autism might explain that. But perhaps I'm just an asshole lol. My emotions are muted or non existant, and I posess the ability to exert behavioural self control even in the most dire situations, including an...
  2. Gwildor

    difficulties empathizing with my boyfriend

    I also very much doubt the OP has BPD, and that wasn't in question. I believe the disorder was only brought up as I mentioned it to explain communication difficulties with my ex and then another member commented on coming across as borderline. Which started the ball rolling on the attachment...
  3. Gwildor

    difficulties empathizing with my boyfriend

    The main difference I have experienced with borderline vs fearful avoidant attachment style is the malicious/ vindictive/ outwardly hostile aspects.Though they are very similar. Fearful avoidants can act pretty crappy, especially when our attachment wounds are triggered. But its usually a...
  4. Gwildor

    difficulties empathizing with my boyfriend

    That sounds perhaps like disorganized attachment rather than purely avoidant. I have the same style. Its very hard to live with and form healthy stable relationships. It is also known as Fearful avoidant or anxious avoidant. It can look a lot like borderline in some senses because of the...
  5. Gwildor

    difficulties empathizing with my boyfriend

    I hope your boyfriend understands. Being understood is more important to me than being empathized with. Perhaps its the same for you. Honestly, by neurotypical standards I probably treat many of my ex partners as poorly as they did me. Not intentionally of course. But just by the fact I...
  6. Gwildor

    difficulties empathizing with my boyfriend

    this resonates hard with me. both your struggles, and the reactions of your partner. I find it difficult to understand why somebody would want empathy vs problem solving. I noted this as one of the problems I experienced when I tried councelling for poor mental health. I was recommended to...
  7. Gwildor

    Is it Autism?

    Thats a good point matthias. There are strategies which are universally helpful. I think however there is some purpose to knowing your diagnosis for the purposes of treatment. Different conditions respond better to different therapies and pharmaceuticals. In the problem solving methodology...
  8. Gwildor

    Is it Autism?

    I'd say there is some fear, definately in the absence of understanding, and with a predisposed neurochemistry.....With the 'right' neurochemistry more likely curiosity/excitement.
  9. Gwildor

    Is it Autism?

    It seems that an Autism diagnosis is a difficult thing to pin down. My brain doesnt like that lol. It tells me anything that is nebulous or vague is hard to trust. I certainly resonate with aspects of many personality, attachment and developmental disorders. Schitzoid, OCPD, Avoidant. It seems...
  10. Gwildor

    Is it Autism?

    I very much like your analogy. And you explain your points well. I suppose to continue the discussion. firstly would you say that autistic traits could be 'conditioned' out of someone? You touched on therapy as being a driver of that but my own example would be more a process of learning that...
  11. Gwildor

    Is it Autism?

    I have done these tests before, I usially score about 35/50 on the AQ. and around 120 on the RAADS. Both tell me the indication of significant autistic traits. I understand the nature of a spectrum. I suppose my confusion of what consists of neurodiverse behaviour is the nature of egocentrism...
  12. Gwildor

    Is it Autism?

    What is your giftedness? eg how did/does it manifest?
  13. Gwildor

    Is it Autism?

    I feel the same sense of discomfort identifing without a professional opinion. But the current barrier to that is cost. I have done some research into getting professionally assesed and it seems to be in the region of 2 thousand dollars. Which is beyond my current means. I know one or 2 of you...
  14. Gwildor

    Looking to see if I fit in.

    Thankyou to everyone that has welcomed me thus far.
  15. Gwildor

    Looking to see if I fit in.

    Haha yes. Good knowledge sir! I seem to be a treasure trove of useless knowledge myself. This was a favorite movie of mine when i was growing up and many of the characters and quotes are lodged in my head and refuse to budge even after all this time.
  16. Gwildor

    Looking to see if I fit in.

    It's usually whatever fascinates my insatiable curiosity at the time. If something is on my mind and piques my interes I want to know the subject intimately. often down to the atomic level lol. This has encompassed topics as varied as horticulture, sailing, archery, any of the sciences. And...
  17. Gwildor

    Looking to see if I fit in.

    I have seen all 3 in my area too. I'm a big fan of the natural world. I get a lot of enjoyment from categorizing and sketching the species when I go on my wilderness trips. Sort of like real life pokemon or something lol. Gotta collect em all. I particularly like the tails of snappers. They have...
  18. Gwildor

    Is it Autism?

    So I guess for my first post (aside from introductions). I wanted to start a dialog for those of you with experience of an adult diagnosis. Self or official. What were the things that made you, or whomever suggested it to you, consider autism? What doubts might you have had? Lightbulb moments...
  19. Gwildor

    Looking to see if I fit in.

    It was. But then I changed it to a picture of a recent canoe trip I went on. I may go back to the turtle at some point soon. I'm not the mose decisive person. Are you familiar with the species?
  20. Gwildor

    Looking to see if I fit in.

    Hey there I don't have an official diagnosis, and am still not quite sure if I'm on the spectrum, or it's something else, but it seems a likely factor in some of the things I have really struggled with for a long time. I'm mostly just looking to see if I fit in with you guys and my situation...
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