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  1. Z

    first move?

    Lol. Had a tinder match from weeks ago that I never messaged and sent that one. Will let you know if she actually replies.
  2. Z

    I'm sorry for the things I say but I am just so lonely without a partner.

    Tony, I'm not sure if you might be doing this, but I think it's worth taking a hard look at yourself and answer truthfully. Are you trying to use sympathy as a way to make yourself more attractive? Maybe even subconsciously? I have caught myself doing this before. If you are, you need to stop...
  3. Z

    first move?

    In my experience, even coming up with a specific based on their profile won't get a response most of the time. Like if she likes travelling, saying something like "Hey, I see you like travelling. Me too. Where have you been?" Is okay, but in my experience, still more than likely to not get a...
  4. Z

    first move?

    If you're talking about something like tinder, you're expected to send the first message. You'll need to think of something clever or creative. 9 times out of 10, "Hey, how are you?" won't get a response.
  5. Z

    Does anyone else feel like a failure because they just can't keep their place from being a mess?

    100% me. Except I throw stuff out if I don't need them. What makes it weird is that I actually don't mind cleaning. I think there's basically 3 main reasons why I'm messy. Is it the same for everyone? 1. I don't notice. I literally don't see that something is out of place unless it's right in...
  6. Z

    ASD severity levels explained (hopefully)

    Appointment #2 of my assessment is in 2 days.
  7. Z

    Let's lose weight together if we need to.

    About 8 years ago, I went from weighing over 250 down to a very muscular 185. Even could see a poor-man's 6 pack. I was in my late 30's at the time and lost it in less than a year. I kept the weight off for about 5 years, then the pandemic hit and I stopped working out (routine broken and I...
  8. Z

    Would I be better or more miserable if I admit I will accept I will never have a girlfriend?

    How does his sister being over 30 and never being on a date show this?
  9. Z

    ASD severity levels explained (hopefully)

    "Without supports in place, deficits in in social communication cause noticeable impairments" To me this implies for someone at level 1... when "supports" are in place there are no noticeable social impairments. Scratching head a bit on that one, wondering how common it can be that someone...
  10. Z

    ASD severity levels explained (hopefully)

    I googled it and found a list of autism "supports". The only ones that apply to social impairments would be various types of therapy. The wording still throws me off though. "In place" suggests to me some kind of social interaction within a controlled environment. If supports means therapy...
  11. Z

    ASD severity levels explained (hopefully)

    Thanks for posting this, I was actually just trying to figure this stuff out. I have seen the word "support" used within the context of severity levels several times. "social impairments even with supports in place" "Without supports in place, deficits in in social communication cause...
  12. Z

    My reward system is backwards

    This has been going on for years and it is getting worse. When I'm at work, if I'm doing what I'm supposed to, I've been feeling incredible anxiety, bordering on panic. It kicks in almost immediately. My relief is falling back to a special interest. I work almost completely independently, open...
  13. Z

    Do you regret being diagnosed?

    I appreciate everyone giving their perspectives. It's very helpful to be reminded how everyone's situation is unique and to not be overly skewed by my own experience. Judge, it's funny you mention jurisdiction. I am in Canada. In my last appointment, my counselor discussed how I'd likely be...
  14. Z

    Do you regret being diagnosed?

    This is a good point. I was in a horrible depression from my divorce when I started this. I have read many blogs and articles, watched youtube videos from people who were assessed as adults, and they all seemed to put a positive spin on it. They also all seemed to somehow have a fantastic...
  15. Z

    Do you regret being diagnosed?

    I went into this journey pretty oblivious. For better or worse, there's a sugar-coated, surface-level mainstream way in which high functioning autism is presented. Just a quirky different way of thinking. Presumably to mitigate unfair stereotypes against a disability, which I suppose is a good...
  16. Z

    Do you regret being diagnosed?

    Thank you everyone. It was cathartic just to write all that out. Regarding my daughter, she is almost 13. She has always struggled with both school and with making friends, and with the few she has made, she always say that they treat her unfairly. I have seen positive changes with her this...
  17. Z

    Do you regret being diagnosed?

    I'm 46 years old and currently in the process of getting a formal assessment. I believe it's just a formality. ASD was not on my radar at all until I watched Love on the Spectrum about 18 months ago and thought hmm... I can really relate to some of these people. I put that thought on the...
  18. Z

    How can I make it happen at my age?

    My point is that you're taking perhaps the most difficult social scenario for neurotypical men... 75% of men are too scared to chat up women | StaturePR Almost half of young men have never approached a woman romantically; study...
  19. Z

    How can I make it happen at my age?

    I think you're oversimplifying it. The exact same behaviour can be fun and flirty vs. weird/creepy/annoying depending on if a woman finds a man attractive. NT people can and do really struggle with this. For an autistic man you can also add all the standard ASD issues plus some likely...
  20. Z

    How can I make it happen at my age?

    I know dating apps aren't perfect, but for someone with your issue about approaching women (I have the same), you can't ask for a much better solution. I found my (now ex) wife through a dating app. Yes, you still generally need to make the first move but there's no risk in being labelled...
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