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  1. if6wasnin9

    Impossible online therapist

    Saw online therapist. I can't talk about it! I am furious! I can't get it out of my head! She didn't understand a thing I said! It was like I was talking Japanese? She didn't understand that lots of Drs/therapists have ignored me last 10 years. Or that I've been abused in all hospitals last 40...
  2. if6wasnin9

    If you were honest with yourselves, how many of you hate having this condition?

    Why would anyone enjoy having a disorder? Life's hard enough if you can function properly. I don't know what I have but I can't function and no one's wanted to help last 40 years. Just been abused and used and experimented with and almost cost me my life more than once. I'm ready to kill myself...
  3. if6wasnin9

    Seeking your input. Would you work 12 hours per day, 7 days a week, for 45 days straight at high pay?

    You have a disorder and you can work? I haven't been able to do anything last 25 years. How do you function with a disorder? There's a Chinese restaurant nearby run by a family and they live in that place and the husband slaves behind a stove 11 hours a day 6 days a week! I would lose my mind...
  4. if6wasnin9

    Favourite cover versions of songs...

    "Born under a bad sign" by Cream. If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all...
  5. if6wasnin9

    What was the last TV show you watched?

    I used to watch Sam & Cat on Nickelodeon with Ariana Grande. She was very funny!
  6. if6wasnin9

    David Jeremiah quote

    Read The Bible twice and didn't understand it at all. Never understood Church when I was young. Especially when Pastor talked about The Holy Ghost. But I remember what it was like when everything was wonderful before I got sick at 13. Had great times with my grandparents... they taught me...
  7. if6wasnin9

    David Jeremiah quote

    I'm not religious but watched some Spiritual TV last month and Dr Jeremiah said something which struck me. He said "You don't have to try and figure everything out. If you try to figure everything out you will be miserable". That's exactly what I've been trying to do last 45 years and it's made...
  8. if6wasnin9

    Identifying with yourself

    I've looked for years for help with dissociation and there is none. I've told everyone including Drs at Johns Hopkins and they didn't listen at all and therapists don't listen and know nothing! I struggle every second and now my nights are horrible since I took Prozac 2 years ago! Help doesn't...
  9. if6wasnin9

    List your audio equipment

    Bought a Fluance turntable few months ago and didn't sound any better than my $80 AT turntable. Never liked Boston Acoustic speakers - they sound dull. My JBLs hit hard and are very realistic. I listen to Robin Trower, Priest, Ozzy, Cream, Limp Bizkit, Joe Satriani, ZZ Top and have tons of...
  10. if6wasnin9

    List your audio equipment

    Home stereo, mp3 players, etc. I've spent tons of money on equipment. I have a Yamaha amp, JBL speakers which I love! I had a fantastic car audio system with high end component speakers, Alpine head unit, Kicker subs, 3 amps, EQ all in my Pontiac Sunfire, now I have an Altima with Bose system.
  11. if6wasnin9

    What song are you listening to right now?

    Been listening to a lot of Randy Rhoades and Ozzy. Randy was exceptional. And Ozzy understood the human condition. "How many times have they filled me with rhymes and I listened again? Twisting the truth and playing around with my head, OK! But they don't even know what they're talking...
  12. if6wasnin9

    Obsession Vs special interests?

    I've had a very high libido all my life and my last psychiatrist gave me a test and said my testosterone is higher than a teen's and I'm 60 now! Anyway, I've always been obsessed with porn and been downloading last 20 years and have a massive collection. It totally helps me forget about my...
  13. if6wasnin9

    Identifying with yourself

    What is ASD? I go in and out of reality because I have no control over how bad I feel and it causes me to lose my mind! I've told Drs at Johns Hopkins I was losing touch with reality and they ignored me! It was a barbaric place and they didn't care at all! And I've told my father I'm losing my...
  14. if6wasnin9

    Hopeless

    I wasn't hospitalized against my will! I had a bunch of nervous breakdowns and was incapacitated and told my father to take me to the hospital! I was in The Institute of PA, the best psych hospital in USA in 1990s and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me! The psychologist just stared...
  15. if6wasnin9

    Some Of Us Are Not Made To Connect.

    So what if you still can't connect after 45 years and trying wipes you out? Is it time to give up? I'm totally ready to give up and I've told many professionals that and they could care less. I've learned that help doesn't exist because I've been in this lousy mental health system 40 years and...
  16. if6wasnin9

    Feeling like I don't know who I really am

    I'm in the same boat as you are. I struggle identifying with myself last 45 years. I figured I dissociated at 13 and had derealization. Not knowing yourself causes incredible anxiety and Drs and psychologists never could figure me out and I've been to the best hospitals on the East Coast since...
  17. if6wasnin9

    Identifying with yourself

    I didn't have any trauma. I started getting anxious around girls and started feeling really strange. I felt nothing around friends or family and became detached from myself and couldn't identify with myself. I figured I had dissociative amnesia and had all 4 stages of dissociation. I told Drs...
  18. if6wasnin9

    What was the last TV show you watched?

    I've downloaded lots of shows last 20 years: All in the Family (Sally Struthers was very hot), Hope and Faith (Kelly Ripa), Sarah Silverman, Sam and Cat, Sanford & Son, MASH. Kelly Ripa was very funny with Faith Ford!
  19. if6wasnin9

    What song are you listening to right now?

    Been listening to a lot of Chris Cornell and Soundgarden. "Don't know where I'm going, I just keep on rowing, gotta row...." "Life is a hammer that's waiting to drop, drifting in shallows and the rowing won't stop..."
  20. if6wasnin9

    Identifying with yourself

    Is this a symptom of autism? I've had extreme trouble feeling myself since I got very sick at 13 and was detached from myself. I think I was dissociating and had it most of the last 45 years. I felt nothing around people and could not hold a conversation and lost all friends by age 18. Struggled...
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