11-year-old girls playing with dolls in toy prams

[Misty Avich]

I remember when me and my (NT) cousin were both 11, I was round at her house one summer Sunday. We were playing with her dolls in her bedroom, and she had 2 dolls prams. But we got bored, so we decided to dress our dolls (well she had a doll, I had my teddy bear) in blankets and lay them in the prams like they were real babies. Then we found ourselves taking the prams outside, and both had an urge to go somewhere with our prams. I suggested our grandparent's house, which was in the next street. To get there we had to walk along a busy road where people in passing cars probably saw us and thought "aren't those girls a bit old to be pushing doll's prams in public?" I was aware of this but forced myself not to care, because we both felt like real mums.

So, the question is, what would you think if you saw preteens playing with dolls in dolls prams in public? Would you judge, or would you feel quite proud? Personally I'd feel proud, because I think kids grow up too fast these days, and I'd rather see girls of 11 playing with dolls than tarting themselves up in miniskirts and causing trouble. After all, you're still a child at 11, and the main thing about being a child is being able to play.

 

[kenaij]

I would feel neither proud nor judge. I`d be glad they were doing what they like to do without caring if other people think they are too old.
Just as there are no boys or girls toys, just toys. There is no maximum age to play with something. (there are minimum age guidelines though)

 

[GrownupGirl]

My mother said I was too old to be pushing dolls in doll carriages when I must have been around 7 or 8. And back then she couldn't understand why I was still role-playing with dolls and stuffed animals when I was a teenager. But since my diagnoses it makes sense now. I had such a bad time trying to socialize with other teens that doing it with toys was a lot easier and a lot more fun.

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't think 7-8 is too old to play with dolls even in public. I've known of typically developing 8-year-olds who got dolls for Christmas or birthdays and liked to play with them. When one of my younger (NT) cousins was 8 she took her toy panda into the movies with her.

 

[MildredHubble]

I loved Troll dolls when I was 11. I liked playing with them as late as 13 and even then I only stopped because I knew my mother was huffing and puffing about it.

I had quite a collection of Trolls, I always thought the Russ Trolls were the cutest. I had a weird looking off brand troll that was a totally unique design (wasn't trying to be a knock off of a Dam or Russ Troll), I remember I bought it because I felt sorry for him being left in the store where no one would love him and he only cost £1, so I used my birthday money to buy him.

I'd build little villages out of books and various things and made little "tree houses" with swings and pulleys. I really enjoyed that.

It sounds like you were having a nice time playing with your dolls (or teddy ) I'm glad you didn't allow other people's opinions bother you. It sounds like a sweet and wholesome thing to do. You are quite right that often kids are expected to grow up too early, or at least to stop playing in certain ways because of some arbitrary cut-off point. It's just silly.

 

[Misty Avich]

I loved Troll dolls when I was 11. I liked playing with them as late as 13 and even then I only stopped because I knew my mother was huffing and puffing about it.

I had quite a collection of Trolls, I always thought the Russ Trolls were the cutest. I had a weird looking off brand troll that was a totally unique design (wasn't trying to be a knock off of a Dam or Russ Troll), I remember I bought it because I felt sorry for him being left in the store where no one would love him and he only cost £1, so I used my birthday money to buy him.

I'd build little villages out of books and various things and made little "tree houses" with swings and pulleys. I really enjoyed that.

It sounds like you were having a nice time playing with your dolls (or teddy ) I'm glad you didn't allow other people's opinions bother you. It sounds like a sweet and wholesome thing to do. You are quite right that often kids are expected to grow up too early, or at least to stop playing in certain ways because of some arbitrary cut-off point. It's just silly.

I think all children between 11 and 14 still get the urge to play with toys sometimes but are afraid to because of age norms that society throws at them. It's probably why a lot of adolescents get rebellious, because they're bored and are still immature yet it's suddenly become socially unacceptable for them to play.

My grandfather said that when he was 14 he and his friends would go potato picking after school for some pocket money, then as soon as they were done they'd play in the street, and his teenage sisters would play with their dolls. It seemed acceptable back then, but I can never understand why, because children in those days left school earlier than they do now and most worked, yet they still played in their spare time. These days kids don't leave school until they're 16-18, most don't have jobs before the age of 16, and yet they're expected to stop playing by age 11.

 

[MildredHubble]

I think all children between 11 and 14 still get the urge to play with toys sometimes but are afraid to because of age norms that society throws at them. It's probably why a lot of adolescents get rebellious, because they're bored and are still immature yet it's suddenly become socially unacceptable for them to play.

I think this is probably right. I think a lot of my early adolescence was influenced by basically still just being a kid that wanted to play but was shamed into thinking I had to be more "sophisticated" than I was really ready to be.

I'm not sure exactly what to attribute this to. I was always behind the curve compared to my friends (the few I had at least). I'd still want to play with certain things that my friends had moved on from, but I hadn't noticed that they were "too grown up" for.

I think this was partially because when I was a kid my mother would often have one of her temper tantrum "clear outs" where she'd just throw away most of my toys because they were "rubbish making a mess". So I'd not gotten to enjoy things before they were unceremoniously binned or given away.

 

[kriss72]

That suddenly brought back memories of the red wooden toy pram I had as a kid, I can't remember when I stopped playing with it and I have no idea what happened to it... - but anyway about the question, if I saw a couple of pre-teens playing with dolls in public, I might think the same as if they were playing any other game in the street like cool, they look like they have fun

 

[Misery]

Honestly the idea of being "too old" for something seems ridiculous to me.

A lot of the things I have and do would probably be considered "toys" or whatever by many who in my mind are rather dull. Just one look around the room I'm in, and it's not hard to find "toys". Board games with lots of big plastic figures, puzzles/cubes which are EVERYWHERE right now, a set of plush dolls, and so many other things. Even the stuff I currently wear. Very neutral outfits, but with shirts that often have characters/things I like on them. I can do that, I decided.

People worry so much about trying to be mature, and end up just... sorta sadly doing the one or two things that society says they can do, which as far as I can tell consist of watching TV (but only certain things that fall into the very specific bracket of "mature") or talking. Usually gossip, or politics. Well obviously there's a bit more than that... probably... but those two things are usually what I observe others do.

This is one of the reasons why I dont bother socializing anymore. I dont remember the last time I met someone IRL who, you know, DID things. Anything that wouldnt be represented by dull gray shades if I were to draw it out.

And it seems ridiculous to me. In my view, REAL maturity is the ability to simply make decisions for yourself. And ALLOWING yourself to actually do so. Instead of worrying about whether is something is childish or not in the eyes of others.

Not always easy, of course. But then, nothing is.

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't think adults are as dull as that. If nobody did anything then there'd be nothing to gossip about lol. Society is based on norms and social constructs, and I can understand it to a degree. If all adults just sat around playing with toys all the time then I don't think we'd get anything done lol.
It is quite normal for adults to have hobbies and interests, such as cooking, gardening, sewing, reading, etc.
My dad would often get called immature by my mum for sitting watching sports all day on the TV instead of taking care of responsibilities.

 

[Misery]

If all adults just sat around playing with toys all the time then I don't think we'd get anything done lol.

You could say exactly the same thing about gossip and TV, though. Yet people still spend boatloads of time on both, as society thinks both are fine.

In fact, I daresay that TV in particular is the worst for that. Since there's zero interaction/problem solving/skill use. You JUST stare. That's it. Often at things that are rather braindead or designed strictly to generate addiction (or both). Yet, that's pretty much THE "mature" activity as defined by society (well, that and phone scrolling, but that's another topic). Absolutely baffling to me. (and no, I dont watch TV myself thankfully, though I do have to suffer through random snippets of it frequently since absolutely everyone else does)

As for hobbies, I dunno about that. It could be the area I live in (which is basically just endless grass, most exciting thing within 50 miles is Walmart), and the way the family is (the word "corporate" can describe many members of the family), but I cant think of many instances of meeting someone IRL that had anything resembling a hobby (or in many cases, a freaking personality). Perhaps in other areas this may be different. Though I have trouble believing that one.

In any case, at this point I just naturally avoid most people, since being around most of them is just... depressing.

This topic is one of those reasons where I'm kinda glad to be on the spectrum, as if I wasnt I suspect I'd have ended up like the rest of the family, dull and gray, and that's a nightmare inducing thought.

 

[Misty Avich]

You could say exactly the same thing about gossip and TV, though. Yet people still spend boatloads of time on both, as society thinks both are fine.

In fact, I daresay that TV in particular is the worst for that. Since there's zero interaction/problem solving/skill use. You JUST stare. That's it. Often at things that are rather braindead or designed strictly to generate addiction (or both). Yet, that's pretty much THE "mature" activity as defined by society (well, that and phone scrolling, but that's another topic). Absolutely baffling to me. (and no, I dont watch TV myself thankfully, though I do have to suffer through random snippets of it frequently since absolutely everyone else does)

As for hobbies, I dunno about that. It could be the area I live in (which is basically just endless grass, most exciting thing within 50 miles is Walmart), and the way the family is (the word "corporate" can describe many members of the family), but I cant think of many instances of meeting someone IRL that had anything resembling a hobby (or in many cases, a freaking personality). Perhaps in other areas this may be different. Though I have trouble believing that one.

In any case, at this point I just naturally avoid most people, since being around most of them is just... depressing.

This topic is one of those reasons where I'm kinda glad to be on the spectrum, as if I wasnt I suspect I'd have ended up like the rest of the family, dull and gray, and that's a nightmare inducing thought.

I think you just have a very...autistic view of the world, where you think that only autistic people are capable of being interested in something while the NTs are lifeless robots only programmed to do the same mindless nothing every day of their lives. I see NTs as much more exciting than that. My NT colleague at work enjoys camping with his wife and grown-up son, because they love nature. I think that's cool. My other NT colleague breeds rabbits in his backyard, and knows everything about rabbits. That's also cool. And you should see the fabulous cakes my other NT colleague makes all by herself, absolutely remarkable, and each cake must have required a lot of focus and attention to detail. These are just ordinary NTs with not many noticeable quirks, but they have lives.

 

[Progster]

Nothing. I'd just think, girls playing. If the girls were a bit older than preteens, I'd probably wonder if the baby in the pram was real, though.

 

[SusanLR]

I would think nothing of it except to remind me of my youth and wonder why I didn't care for playing with dolls.
Stuffed toys are cute, and I always liked one to sleep with.

 

[Misery]

I think you just have a very...autistic view of the world, where you think that only autistic people are capable of being interested in something while the NTs are lifeless robots only programmed to do the same mindless nothing every day of their lives. I see NTs as much more exciting than that. My NT colleague at work enjoys camping with his wife and grown-up son, because they love nature. I think that's cool. My other NT colleague breeds rabbits in his backyard, and knows everything about rabbits. That's also cool. And you should see the fabulous cakes my other NT colleague makes all by herself, absolutely remarkable, and each cake must have required a lot of focus and attention to detail. These are just ordinary NTs with not many noticeable quirks, but they have lives.

Well, when I think about it further, I do think to some degree my view is affected by the area I'm in.

Like, seriously, when I mentioned the Walmart, that's not an exaggeration. I'm in the US, Illinois specifically, and 95% of the state (which is enormous) is grass and farms. Most of the actual "stuff" is concentrated in Chicago (an area I wont go close to unless forced). The only concentration of things that is within a sane driving distance of where I'm sitting is a major shopping & corporate business zone. And... that's it. That's all there is. I have incredible amounts of free time and the curiosity of a cat, so I've explored the entire region (protip, dont actually do that without some sort of GPS onboard).

The only exceptions are the forests, but I go to those often and it's extremely rare I see anyone else in them. Though there's decent reason for that, they arent kept up very well and arent the safest places (a zillion spots where you could fall and break something, basically, and very unstable terrain).

So yeah, there's not much exposure to anything, in a business-centric area.

 

[kriss72]

Honestly the idea of being "too old" for something seems ridiculous to me.

I agree that we shouldn't judge others for what they like/fancy - but I must also admit that it isn't that simple as I guess that means we shouldn't judge our self, like ok my current t-shirt actually have a drawing of a teddybear on it, but there are things I don't wear because I don't think they are age appropriate, like the shoes with flashing lights I see some kids wear, I would really fancy a pair of shoes like that. But I think I'm too old for them.... on the other hand if I saw someone else my age do it, I wouldn't mind it...

Reading this thread made me think of the saying- the difference between boys and men is the price of their toys

 

[Au Naturel]

I remember when me and my (NT) cousin were both 11, I was round at her house one summer Sunday. We were playing with her dolls in her bedroom, and she had 2 dolls prams. But we got bored, so we decided to dress our dolls (well she had a doll, I had my teddy bear) in blankets and lay them in the prams like they were real babies. Then we found ourselves taking the prams outside, and both had an urge to go somewhere with our prams. I suggested our grandparent's house, which was in the next street. To get there we had to walk along a busy road where people in passing cars probably saw us and thought "aren't those girls a bit old to be pushing doll's prams in public?" I was aware of this but forced myself not to care, because we both felt like real mums.

So, the question is, what would you think if you saw preteens playing with dolls in dolls prams in public? Would you judge, or would you feel quite proud? Personally I'd feel proud, because I think kids grow up too fast these days, and I'd rather see girls of 11 playing with dolls than tarting themselves up in miniskirts and causing trouble. After all, you're still a child at 11, and the main thing about being a child is being able to play.

I thought that was what preteen girls did.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

We spend too much of our childhood wanting to grow up, and once we grow up, we wish we were kids again. Generation after generation we see this. I wish children had some way of understanding this perspective and just enjoy who they are knowing that this could quite literally be the happiest time of their lives.

The sad reality is that now, with most children having electronic devices and an internet connection, they are bombarded with images and videos and blogs of late teens and young adults behaving badly. Girls, especially, are highly sexualized and it's just sad to see a little girl's thoughts be so heavily influenced. Little boys are also viewing this media and, in various ways, influencing the behavior of their female peers, as well. The messages that are being sent are not for children, clearly, but I am not sure if children are comprehending that perspective. It is undermining the virtues that make good people. I am trying to avoid a rant here.

Years ago, my family was invited over to my sister's home to celebrate the birthday of my niece who was turning 10. Well, she had about 4-5 of her girlfriends over and they were all hanging out, talking, and giggling as one would expect, but as I was walking through the house, I just caught some of their conversation, and to my surprise it was about some rather sexually explicit behavior. Now, none of these girls I would have thought would have any of these sorts of thoughts at that age, but a few years later, I found that my eldest son had been looking at internet porn at the age of 10. OK, I am not happy about any of it, but it is what it is these days. Well, that was nearly 20 years ago, and all these kids seemed to have turned out well, albeit, I have a sense that their innocence was taken way too early in life.

So, if children want to act like children until their teens, this is just fine with me.