3 year old upset

[jamse37]

Hi all
My only just three year old daughter who we are waiting for an official diagnoses for ( we truly believe aspergers)
Anyway. She gets upset for no apparent reason which I believe is sensory overload. Then she apologises for getting upset and says she doesn't like getting upset and gets upset again. She apologises a lot
It breaks our hearts
Is this normal behaviour and any ideas on how to help her please?
Thank you in advance.

 

[Ylva]

Three-year-olds obviously have limited self-control and self-knowledge. Maybe she is trying to filter her sensory input manually by ignoring it, thus adding stress. Her brain "wants" her to pay attention to her senses, or at least that's how I'd put it to a toddler.

It won't solve everything, but I'd suggest telling her to notice things like how she feels and why she feels it (for instance the light is too intense, colours on the tv are too bright, et cetera). It might be a good thing to learn early to deal withh stress later. And she can take time-outs somewhere with less sensory input if she feels like she is about to get upset, not as punishments but as breaks. Breaks are great for allowing your brain to process.

 

[jamse37]

Thank you

She has time outs by licking Thr stairs carpet on each step to the top. Also takes herself off to her room and just sits silently or goes into her little fantasy world with her dogs.
She is ridiculously clever seems too have a photographic memory
Main sensory issues are
Can't eat
Can't sleep
Lots of noises very distressing
We can't kiss her
Hates clothes
Always bear feet
Can't get a splash of water on her
Wind hurts
No pain feeling

Sorry I could go on all night and its what most on here suffer with also

I just wish I could have it all instead of her.

 

[Ste11aeres]

It's really really good that you recognise that in her case, the upset might be from sensory overload.
(I'm a professional preschool teacher.) It's normal for three ear olds to have tantrums. It's not normal for them to apologise, nor to make resolutions for the future.
She sounds extraordinarily mature.

 

[jamse37]

Thank you both so much
I understand tantrums but these are not tantrums they are extremely fearful meltdowns.
We generally watch DVDs (that have to have dogs in or elmo) until exhaustion kicks in. Got her to sleep about 11pm and we have now been awake since 2am
Thank you both again.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Thank you both so much
I understand tantrums but these are not tantrums they are extremely fearful meltdowns.
We generally watch DVDs (that have to have dogs in or elmo) until exhaustion kicks in. Got her to sleep about 11pm and we have now been awake since 2am
Thank you both again.

Okay, I understand. At a preschool I used to care for a probably-Aspie one year old that had such meltdowns, and they are not the same thing as a tantrum, not at all. I'm now close friends with his family. He is now a happier child, but his parents still have to do the same thing as you of watching TV with him until he finally conks out late at night.

 

[jamse37]

I would like both of your posts but I don't know how to. Sorry

 

[Kari Suttle]

I'm not a parent but a suspected aspie and i babysit a two year old full time. I don't know what all i can do to try to help, but i can at least make some suggestions for stuff you can probably modify. I'm not sure what to say about the problem with clothes, wind, etc but i will say that as a kid clothes bothered the hell out of me. But as i grew older it faded, now it doesn't bother me much at all. Probably just learned to deal with it on my own.

First thing's first, you said she has problems eating. I've always had fairly bad texture aversions to a lot of foods. Is there a certain type of food or favorite food that she'll eat? Maybe there's a certain taste or texture that bothers her a lot to the point that she can't eat it.

Am i right in assuming she's hypersensitive to sound? I'm like that. Everything to me i louder than to others and i can't filter out background noise. Right now she's too young to learn to manage it herself, but as her parent i figure you know the warning signs that something's wrong. If she's having a bad day, perhaps keep it low key for her so there's less for her to have to process and pay attention to. I work at a grocery store and what i do is just focus purely on the customer i'm with at the moment, perhaps this would work for your daughter. Distract her with something she really likes. Thomas the train works for the NT two year old i babysit but he's two, i don't have experience with three year old girls. He's obsessed with it.

I don't get the 'no pain' thing...does she just have a high pain tolerance or does she literally feel no pain? Cause if you mean the latter, that's supposed to be a rare condition.

On the sleeping issues, i've always had issues getting to sleep and staying asleep. According to my mom i quit taking naps before i was even a year old, and my 'naps' were like a half hour to an hour if she was lucky. Its like my mind just doesn't wanna shut off at night. That's why i'm up writing this at nearly 1am actually. But anyways, it sounds like your on the right track. Sitting in front of a tv show tends to wear me out eventually. Even better if i'm watching it in the dark already in bed all comfy. No caffeine or sugar after dinner helps.

 

[jamse37]

Thank you for your reply Kari
The no pain is literally that she doesn't seem to feel it. We had to teach her to say a word recognised to us that means she has done something that she knows we have to know about Then She will come up to us say the word and we then go back through with her what she has been doing (photo memory is handy) and then we check out her body for bumps bruises etc.
the other bizarre one is she has never at night worn pyjamas or had covers over her. Her body can be like an ice block sometimes but if she is asleep it doesn't bother her. She can also quite happily sit in a very cold bath. Prefers it to warm.
In a way I hope you don't respond to this as it means you are getting some needed sleep.