Reached 4 years sober back on the 1st December. When I slipped up back on October 2nd and bought a half a pint of Guinness - I treated it as a slip, but not a break in sobriety. Neither drunk, nor tipsy, and then bombarded with a migraine a few hours later. It was my first migraine since I'd stopped drinking; my body was clearly telling me "no".
This morning I threw away my tobacco. Back in early June, when I doubled up with carers whilst training - they all smoked, and I knew what would happen. Less than 10 a week, but still regular enough for it to feel problematic. Cravings were quite pronounced earlier going without.
Still processing reconnecting with an old friend, and the traumatic evening that triggered a year long absence from said friendship on my part. Going back has brought up some unhealed detritus. Seen them twice in the past week. In some ways it provided relief, and in other ways it added to my inner tensions. Ontop of this there's been processing the client close to death and my recent breakup.
Loneliness crept back into the picture rather quickly, although I have tried socialising more. But finances prevent a lot as the focus is the van, and has been for over a year. It's tiring, but it has fast become the makings of my home. I know that project vehicles are rarely easy or straight forward.
Discovering more rust on Boxanne last night, and trying to plan my finances and getting out of debt. It's all been a bit heavy going lately. My body is aching a lot from the stress. So much van focus, it's been time since yoga or massage, and a lot longer since therapy.
Mind you - it's 7 days until the shortest day, and then we'll be slowly bathed in more sunlight.
Alles klar.
This morning I threw away my tobacco. Back in early June, when I doubled up with carers whilst training - they all smoked, and I knew what would happen. Less than 10 a week, but still regular enough for it to feel problematic. Cravings were quite pronounced earlier going without.
Still processing reconnecting with an old friend, and the traumatic evening that triggered a year long absence from said friendship on my part. Going back has brought up some unhealed detritus. Seen them twice in the past week. In some ways it provided relief, and in other ways it added to my inner tensions. Ontop of this there's been processing the client close to death and my recent breakup.
Loneliness crept back into the picture rather quickly, although I have tried socialising more. But finances prevent a lot as the focus is the van, and has been for over a year. It's tiring, but it has fast become the makings of my home. I know that project vehicles are rarely easy or straight forward.
Discovering more rust on Boxanne last night, and trying to plan my finances and getting out of debt. It's all been a bit heavy going lately. My body is aching a lot from the stress. So much van focus, it's been time since yoga or massage, and a lot longer since therapy.
Mind you - it's 7 days until the shortest day, and then we'll be slowly bathed in more sunlight.
Alles klar.
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