AGXStarseed
Well-Known Member
(Not written by me)
Autism is a lifelong disability that affects the way an individual communicates with others and perceives the world.
All autistic people have certain difficulties in common, but the autism spectrum disorder (ASD) itself affects each person differently.
As someone with two brothers who have very different types of autism, I’ve grown up believing in the importance of de-stigmatizing disability and discussing how autism affects all involved.
John Crowley, along with director Audrey O’Reilly, have created Miles to Go– a film that aims to raise awareness of carers and portray how disability can impact a family.
Crowley has a brother with another form of autism, who forms one of the central characters in the feature.
As siblings of those with autism, here are some important things we want you to know.
Not all people with autism have a special skill
Imogen: ‘Both of my brothers have particular obsessions, and some of them have developed into skills.
‘For example, Kris is obsessed with science, and has knowledge on space and time travel that boggles my mind on a regular basis.
‘Alex has been obsessed with Pokemon since childhood, and he can now draw them all perfectly.’
John: ‘Ciaran’s skill is being my brother and I love him to bits.’
We’re not all hugely tolerant and patient people because of our autistic siblings
Imogen: ‘I often receive comments from people saying things like ‘Wow, you must be so tolerant of other people after growing up with your brothers’.
‘Hardly – I’m just used to my brothers’ behaviour. That doesn’t mean I’m some sort of super-human who can tolerate everything life may chuck at me.
‘I get annoyed by things in the same ways that other people do – and sometimes I get annoyed by my brothers just like anyone may clash with their siblings.’
Growing up with an autistic sibling causes us to see the world in a different way
Imogen: ‘Myself and my older brother are only 9 months apart, so I’ve been around those with disabilities my entire life.
‘Going into my brother’s special educational needs (SEN) school, and seeing children with both visual and non-visual disabilities and learning difficulties, was the norm for me.
‘As a result, it used to take me a few seconds to remember why my friends would be unsure how to react when they were at my house and one of my brothers behaved in a way they weren’t used to seeing.
‘I’m very glad I grew up around disability, because it’s made it a lot easier for me to understand how all sorts of people see and perceive the world.’
John: ‘Your siblings – whether they are high-functioning, annoying, selfish, generous or, yes, even autistic – define your outlook on life.
‘Ciaran has made me see the world differently.
‘I know my outlook would be different if I hadn’t grown up with him.
‘That’s why I’m very happy to have him for what he is.’
We don’t want sympathy for having a sibling who is ‘different’
John: ‘I used to not mention my brother at school, because I didn’t know how people would react.
‘Eventually, I told my friend, and he simply said “That’s cool”, which meant a lot to me.
‘When people say ‘I’m sorry’, I ask: ‘Why?’
Imogen: ‘It always confused me when I’d mention my brothers and have people say “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that”.
‘It’s nothing for anyone to feel sorry about, nor should people feel sorry for us.’
There’s no need to stare at those with autism
John: ‘People with autism don’t have two heads. Those who don’t know how to react either stare, or say nothing and walk away.’
Imogen: ‘It’s not productive at all, and just makes us feel self-conscious.
‘It’d be much better if people carried on with their lives as usual, because that’s all we’re doing.’
We value our relationships more, because we have to work harder to keep ours together
Imogen: ‘There are times when my brothers’ behaviour gets to me.
‘We’re only human – most of the time, my parents and I can deal with the excess noise and additional work needed to keep any temper tantrums from escalating, but sometimes it can all feel a bit much.
‘Learning to get through these trying times has lead to a greater understanding of how my brothers work, and appreciation for the friends and family who are there for me.’
If we could live our lives again, we wouldn’t want our siblings to be ‘normal’
Imogen: ‘Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if my brothers didn’t have autism.
‘Once I’ve given it some thought, I realise it wouldn’t have been as interesting, I probably wouldn’t be as close to them as I am, and I’d have very little understanding of disability.
‘I wouldn’t change a thing about my life or my brothers. They’re perfect just the way they are.’
Source: 7 things siblings of those with autism want you to know
Autism is a lifelong disability that affects the way an individual communicates with others and perceives the world.
All autistic people have certain difficulties in common, but the autism spectrum disorder (ASD) itself affects each person differently.
As someone with two brothers who have very different types of autism, I’ve grown up believing in the importance of de-stigmatizing disability and discussing how autism affects all involved.
John Crowley, along with director Audrey O’Reilly, have created Miles to Go– a film that aims to raise awareness of carers and portray how disability can impact a family.
Crowley has a brother with another form of autism, who forms one of the central characters in the feature.
As siblings of those with autism, here are some important things we want you to know.
Not all people with autism have a special skill
Imogen: ‘Both of my brothers have particular obsessions, and some of them have developed into skills.
‘For example, Kris is obsessed with science, and has knowledge on space and time travel that boggles my mind on a regular basis.
‘Alex has been obsessed with Pokemon since childhood, and he can now draw them all perfectly.’
John: ‘Ciaran’s skill is being my brother and I love him to bits.’
We’re not all hugely tolerant and patient people because of our autistic siblings
Imogen: ‘I often receive comments from people saying things like ‘Wow, you must be so tolerant of other people after growing up with your brothers’.
‘Hardly – I’m just used to my brothers’ behaviour. That doesn’t mean I’m some sort of super-human who can tolerate everything life may chuck at me.
‘I get annoyed by things in the same ways that other people do – and sometimes I get annoyed by my brothers just like anyone may clash with their siblings.’
Growing up with an autistic sibling causes us to see the world in a different way
Imogen: ‘Myself and my older brother are only 9 months apart, so I’ve been around those with disabilities my entire life.
‘Going into my brother’s special educational needs (SEN) school, and seeing children with both visual and non-visual disabilities and learning difficulties, was the norm for me.
‘As a result, it used to take me a few seconds to remember why my friends would be unsure how to react when they were at my house and one of my brothers behaved in a way they weren’t used to seeing.
‘I’m very glad I grew up around disability, because it’s made it a lot easier for me to understand how all sorts of people see and perceive the world.’
John: ‘Your siblings – whether they are high-functioning, annoying, selfish, generous or, yes, even autistic – define your outlook on life.
‘Ciaran has made me see the world differently.
‘I know my outlook would be different if I hadn’t grown up with him.
‘That’s why I’m very happy to have him for what he is.’
We don’t want sympathy for having a sibling who is ‘different’
John: ‘I used to not mention my brother at school, because I didn’t know how people would react.
‘Eventually, I told my friend, and he simply said “That’s cool”, which meant a lot to me.
‘When people say ‘I’m sorry’, I ask: ‘Why?’
Imogen: ‘It always confused me when I’d mention my brothers and have people say “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that”.
‘It’s nothing for anyone to feel sorry about, nor should people feel sorry for us.’
There’s no need to stare at those with autism
John: ‘People with autism don’t have two heads. Those who don’t know how to react either stare, or say nothing and walk away.’
Imogen: ‘It’s not productive at all, and just makes us feel self-conscious.
‘It’d be much better if people carried on with their lives as usual, because that’s all we’re doing.’
We value our relationships more, because we have to work harder to keep ours together
Imogen: ‘There are times when my brothers’ behaviour gets to me.
‘We’re only human – most of the time, my parents and I can deal with the excess noise and additional work needed to keep any temper tantrums from escalating, but sometimes it can all feel a bit much.
‘Learning to get through these trying times has lead to a greater understanding of how my brothers work, and appreciation for the friends and family who are there for me.’
If we could live our lives again, we wouldn’t want our siblings to be ‘normal’
Imogen: ‘Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if my brothers didn’t have autism.
‘Once I’ve given it some thought, I realise it wouldn’t have been as interesting, I probably wouldn’t be as close to them as I am, and I’d have very little understanding of disability.
‘I wouldn’t change a thing about my life or my brothers. They’re perfect just the way they are.’
Source: 7 things siblings of those with autism want you to know
