Animal_Girl
Well-Known Member
I've never had a real romantic relationship before, but there have been a couple of people I have loved in a romantic context. However, I don't develop romantic feelings as fast or as frequently as my peers. Recently, I have come to discover that I am capable of very very deep non-romantic love, but it is not the sort of thing for which I have a name.
Occasionally, there is someone in my life on whom I sort of empathically fixate. I love this person very, very deeply, although I would not call it romantic or sexual. However, they are someone I think about all of the time and wish to spend my time with. I even talk about them to the point that one of my close friends likens me to a middle school girl with her first crush.
At the moment, my "person" is an older, disabled woman with whom I am very very close friends. I've known her for about 3 years, and we have a very interesting dynamic. She helps me understand people and navigate my social world. She talks to me, tells me about her life, and can always offer good advice or an ear if I need to talk. She knows how to calm me down by quietly speaking to me and letting me focus on her stories for a while. I love her very much like a "mom" who can actually accept me the way I am. In turn, I take care of a lot of things for her physically and help her out around her house.
After she lost her home in a disaster and her life fell apart, our dynamic changed a lot. I stayed by her side everyday for a month as we had to dig through the wreckage and debris of what was left of her home. I cared for her and stayed by her side for months, even taking a month off from work just to stay with her. I have never connected with anyone this deeply on an empathic level, and I am hypersensitive to whatever she is feeling. We have a very deep bond, and I love her as much more than just a friend (but definitely not in a romantic way). She's my best friend, my second mom, my teacher, someone I protect, and so much more than that.
To other people, our dynamic seems very strange, particularly because of the age gap (40+ years), but it just feels natural to me. Does anyone else have someone with whom they have a very deep but different kind of love?
Occasionally, there is someone in my life on whom I sort of empathically fixate. I love this person very, very deeply, although I would not call it romantic or sexual. However, they are someone I think about all of the time and wish to spend my time with. I even talk about them to the point that one of my close friends likens me to a middle school girl with her first crush.
At the moment, my "person" is an older, disabled woman with whom I am very very close friends. I've known her for about 3 years, and we have a very interesting dynamic. She helps me understand people and navigate my social world. She talks to me, tells me about her life, and can always offer good advice or an ear if I need to talk. She knows how to calm me down by quietly speaking to me and letting me focus on her stories for a while. I love her very much like a "mom" who can actually accept me the way I am. In turn, I take care of a lot of things for her physically and help her out around her house.
After she lost her home in a disaster and her life fell apart, our dynamic changed a lot. I stayed by her side everyday for a month as we had to dig through the wreckage and debris of what was left of her home. I cared for her and stayed by her side for months, even taking a month off from work just to stay with her. I have never connected with anyone this deeply on an empathic level, and I am hypersensitive to whatever she is feeling. We have a very deep bond, and I love her as much more than just a friend (but definitely not in a romantic way). She's my best friend, my second mom, my teacher, someone I protect, and so much more than that.
To other people, our dynamic seems very strange, particularly because of the age gap (40+ years), but it just feels natural to me. Does anyone else have someone with whom they have a very deep but different kind of love?
