A few points about Aspergers I don't understand...

[christianmother27]

Before I begin, since I'm new, I just wanted to preface with that I am not professionally diagnosed and have simply been seeking answers as to whether this may fit me or not. Also I'd like to add that I was diagnosed as gifted when I was younger (the relevance to that being the similarities between gifted and Aspergers).

Ok this may get long but I'll try to keep it short, or at least bullet pointed

1. Aspies are very literal: About everything? I think of Amelia Bedilia from the childhood books that I used to read. Someone would tell her to plant a bulb and she'd plant a lightbulb, stuff like that. But somehow it seems difficult to understand how an adult couldn't understand very common expressions. In other words it seems that surely as an adult they would have learned the true meanings of such expressions in the process of growing up. Assuming this is the case, how does one tell if one takes things literally? The only example I can think of for myself off hand is a religious one - in that I take the Bible literally (except where I have learned through school and church that it is figurative - aka recalling from school metaphors and similes and applying it thusly. Ditto the poetry part, I don't take that literally.) But I don't know if that's "enough". So just curious what taking things literally looks like for other people.

2. Aspies don't grasp sarcasm: Again a point that makes me doubt I'm looking in the right place. I have a very subtle sense of sarcasm. I often will say something with a double entendre to my husband. And I understand usually if he says something to me. There have a been a few of his jokes I've missed and had to have explained but I understand more than I miss.

3. Relationships: A lot of the things I have read says that Aspies usually don't have relationships due to the social difficulties. Yet I am married and have 4 children. Now granted I met my husband online and chatted with him facelessly for a week. He is the only person I talk to regularly aside from my children. I sometimes talk to my mom, and less often other family members. I prefer to initiate contact online first, and on phone only if I have to.

And I've lost my train of thought so just three points for discussion this time

 

[Bay]

Welcome to the site, christianmother27.

One thing to bear in mind about things you may have read about Aspergers is that they are likely to have been written about children. My Aspie traits were more pronounced when I was a child, but I have learned much about interacting with people since then. I took things very literally as a child, but now I am used to certain metaphors and idioms. Nevertheless, I am still prone to taking things literally where neurotypical people do not.

As for humor, sarcasm and word play are among the few types of humor that Aspie adults/teenagers DO engage in (in my opinion). It is not true that Aspies have no sense of humor, they just don't have the same sense of humor as the rest of the world.

And as far as relationships, well, although I am not saying that you are an Aspie, your description of your relationships mirror my own. I, too, prefer not to talk on the phone. Although I have a life partner, I have no friends to speak of. I am not really close to many in my family and that does not bother me.

I am officially diagnosed, for what it's worth.

 

[LittlePuff]

Not every characteristic applies to everyone, or at the same level.

 

[christianmother27]

So far helpful Ok I thought of a couple more.

1. Learning styles. I read somewhere that Aspies memorize but don't really apply whereas a gifted individual can apply the information they learn. I have always passed tests in school by memorizing the facts and then promptly forgetting the information after. Like I know there WAS a civil war, and I'm pretty sure it was sometime in the 1800s but I couldn't narrow it down much more than that. I have a rough timeline of history but a lot of specifics are no longer a part of what I know because I don't need that information. When I would study for spelling tests I would make sure I memorized a word before moving to the next. When I would practice piano if I made a single mistake I could not finish the piece, I had to start over again. My thirty minutes of practice could run long because of this. On essays and such where you had to apply what you'd learned I felt like I had a lot of fluff/bs material in there. Restating the same thing lots of times in multiple ways basically. I hated essays.

2. Sensory sensitivities - this one has become a big thing with me lately. I am HIGHLY sensitive to cold. I have gotten much more so lately but I've always been cold. Which is weird because I should be nicely insulated But like it's 71 degrees in my house and I feel cold, my feet are cold. At 70 I get goosebumps. The rest of my family is fine... It's almost torture to go into the bathroom which doesn't have a heater or a vent. That porcelin is so cold it's literally painful to touch it. And I shiver so long at night unless I immediately jump into bed after a hot bath (my husband calls them molten lava baths). Also I hate artifical light. I use it when we have to (at night) but a lot of times I think they give me headaches. Given a preference during the day I'll turn all the lights off and just let the sunlight filter in. Though light that's too bright hurts my eyes. Particularly my cell phone at night.

3. Food preferences. I don't recall ever having particular food pickiness, I tended to have whatever was served, though I do remember that I used to think I hated apples because my mom only bought red delicious. I can't eat red delicious apples because they make my gums itch. When I learned there were other kinds of apples I started eating Fuji and Gala and I liked them. I do recall I used to dissect my food. I didn't like eating a sandwich whole. I liked eating it part by part, bread, meat, cheese, all separate. I used to make "mashed potato pies" with my fork and eat that like a pie. I used to eat all of the same kind of food on my plate which also meant I ate what I thought I'd like the least first so I could save the best for last. Apparently I was caught snacking on bell pepper in the fridge as a toddler lol. I don't do a lot of this now but I did growing up. I don't know if that's the same thing though or me just being weird

 

[deema]

Before I begin, since I'm new, I just wanted to preface with that I am not professionally diagnosed and have simply been seeking answers as to whether this may fit me or not. Also I'd like to add that I was diagnosed as gifted when I was younger (the relevance to that being the similarities between gifted and Aspergers).

Ok this may get long but I'll try to keep it short, or at least bullet pointed

1. Aspies are very literal: About everything? I think of Amelia Bedilia from the childhood books that I used to read. Someone would tell her to plant a bulb and she'd plant a lightbulb, stuff like that. But somehow it seems difficult to understand how an adult couldn't understand very common expressions. In other words it seems that surely as an adult they would have learned the true meanings of such expressions in the process of growing up. Assuming this is the case, how does one tell if one takes things literally? The only example I can think of for myself off hand is a religious one - in that I take the Bible literally (except where I have learned through school and church that it is figurative - aka recalling from school metaphors and similes and applying it thusly. Ditto the poetry part, I don't take that literally.) But I don't know if that's "enough". So just curious what taking things literally looks like for other people.

2. Aspies don't grasp sarcasm: Again a point that makes me doubt I'm looking in the right place. I have a very subtle sense of sarcasm. I often will say something with a double entendre to my husband. And I understand usually if he says something to me. There have a been a few of his jokes I've missed and had to have explained but I understand more than I miss.

3. Relationships: A lot of the things I have read says that Aspies usually don't have relationships due to the social difficulties. Yet I am married and have 4 children. Now granted I met my husband online and chatted with him facelessly for a week. He is the only person I talk to regularly aside from my children. I sometimes talk to my mom, and less often other family members. I prefer to initiate contact online first, and on phone only if I have to.


1. Yes, I am very literal, about everything, except for art, where I think of everything as quantum and Wonderland and meant to be illogical.

2. The sarcasm thing. Eh, get it just fine.(other cues, not so much, but sarcasm, for me, is easy to spot)

3. I've had plenty of relationships.


You also should know that there are three classes of aspie. The loner, the outcast, and the actor. Each are very defined by the labels, in my experience. There is nothing in your post that would prove or disprove you being an aspie, but it is enough that I would say to take the online test. (as long as you answer it honestly, it should let you know whether you are or not, and usually where on the spectrum. )But answering honestly, with that test, is tricky on a few, because 'you" can fool yourself.(I noticed that when my ex and I were going through the test together. About four questions I answered "incorrectly" and she pointed out my error. Only a few questions like that though, so should be good to go if honest with yourself

 

[Greg]

I take things so literally it is not even funny. It is challenging when I am trying to talk to someone because I am like you said such and such so that is what you meant. They mean something else but I take them exactly for what they said.

I have no clue on picking up on sarcasm. I am horrible at that.

Currently I am married but because of me I have really made some major screwups making things really challenging.

 

[ASD_Geek]

To this day, I often have a difficult time in interpreting tone and intention of teasing and sarcasm as others frequently have to say, "It's a joke." or "I'm just teasing." It is so frustrating not knowing when to try to laugh or not when someone is talking. It makes for some awkward moments during conversations. I take things literally. If you ask me for a couple of pieces of paper, you'll get two. If you want three, please ask for a few. For me, being literal applies to certain aspects of my life and probably comes from not being able to read people correctly.

This also extends to common sayings as well. It took me many years before I understood what the phrase, "You can't have your cake and eat it, too" meant. I used to wonder what the sense of having a piece of cake was if you could not eat it. It would essentially be worthless. It wasn't until some years later that I finally grasped the true meaning which is that if you eat your cake, then you will no longer have it.

"What do you know?" I am usually asked this while just walking in the hallway at work. I've been asked that several times by different people and it confuses me. Am I supposed to know something and they are asking me for help? My most frequent response, seeking to find out the nature of the question, is, "About what?" Through trial and error, I've learned that for some that that is just another way to say, "Hello". The key is ( to me) is that the ability to figure it out) does not come naturally, but is learned by trial and error and repeated exposure.

 

[zurb]

As someone else already said, not all aspies are identical. Its more about general traits than tick all the boxes which is what makes diagnosis more difficult.

Literalness: I tend to take things more literally if I'm tired, but mostly its not a major problem for me.

Sarcasm: Aspies can be quite paradoxical. They can make noises they hate others to make. Same with sarcasm. They might use sarcasm themselves and totally miss it from others because they miss the tone of voice or body language.

Relationships: I think most desire relationship, but due to the effort it takes it tends to be limited in number to one or two close friends.

 

[Maelstrom]

Before I begin, since I'm new, I just wanted to preface with that I am not professionally diagnosed and have simply been seeking answers as to whether this may fit me or not. Also I'd like to add that I was diagnosed as gifted when I was younger (the relevance to that being the similarities between gifted and Aspergers).

Ok this may get long but I'll try to keep it short, or at least bullet pointed

1. Aspies are very literal: About everything? I think of Amelia Bedilia from the childhood books that I used to read. Someone would tell her to plant a bulb and she'd plant a lightbulb, stuff like that. But somehow it seems difficult to understand how an adult couldn't understand very common expressions. In other words it seems that surely as an adult they would have learned the true meanings of such expressions in the process of growing up. Assuming this is the case, how does one tell if one takes things literally? The only example I can think of for myself off hand is a religious one - in that I take the Bible literally (except where I have learned through school and church that it is figurative - aka recalling from school metaphors and similes and applying it thusly. Ditto the poetry part, I don't take that literally.) But I don't know if that's "enough". So just curious what taking things literally looks like for other people.

2. Aspies don't grasp sarcasm: Again a point that makes me doubt I'm looking in the right place. I have a very subtle sense of sarcasm. I often will say something with a double entendre to my husband. And I understand usually if he says something to me. There have a been a few of his jokes I've missed and had to have explained but I understand more than I miss.

3. Relationships: A lot of the things I have read says that Aspies usually don't have relationships due to the social difficulties. Yet I am married and have 4 children. Now granted I met my husband online and chatted with him facelessly for a week. He is the only person I talk to regularly aside from my children. I sometimes talk to my mom, and less often other family members. I prefer to initiate contact online first, and on phone only if I have to.

And I've lost my train of thought so just three points for discussion this time

Hi (Christianmother27), to get strait to the point everyone is trying to dump everything into one pot and call it aspie, this is not very helpful nor correct. It is there are more than one kinds of aspies and auties and there are other major classes that fall outside those. It is entirely possible in my opinion for a auti to test positive for face blindness under stress of being in a place with strange people and things, but if you tested the auti in a low stress environment like his home the same auti could come up clean with no face blindness. I have the auti gift thing and some aspie too and I can tell most of the time which one is messing with me. My rough guess is you are a gifted auti with some touch sensitive on the side, but proper testing and research is good so you can understand your self more. And when I say Auti I am listing it as separate from Aspie I do not believe they are the same condition at all, just like touch sensitive is different along with others, having multiple conditions is possible I have 2 but they still are different areas of the brain.