Anonymous Ninja
New Member
I literally spent the last 30 minutes on a title... I gave up.
Anyway, new here.
Lifelong Aspie, formally diagnosed as an adult.
Joined to kill time, potentially fix my life, help others, and to solve the questions of the universe. I am a general open book (anonymizing data of course). I will post from time to time looking for advice or to help others.
Who is the Ninja:
I am a 20's ASD, ADHD, and Asexual Guy trying to make a life for himself. I luckily attached my obsessions with employable positions, so lack of work will never be an issue for me. Highly respected at the workplace, but do not know how much I am liked. I am smart and capable of far more than I do. Academically achieved, and plan to return to further my knowledge if I straighten out my life one day. I have lost all direction in life with a lack of motivation. I just don't know what I want long term anymore.
Aspergian Past:
(usually will refer to as ASD just because of the term changes), I had a fairly mild childhood. Always the extremely happy child with 0-1 friends. HS introduced major instability, where everyone was changing around me and I did not change at all. People started to get interested in dating and what not, with me completely oblivious and unable to understand. My disorder reared up in college. I spent a few years without any level of friend and without talking to anyone outside of requirements (eg answer class questions, group work). After a while, I started to obsessively studied human psychology that led me to appear normal in any business level social situation with occasional oddities.x I found a friend in that time as well. Then the rise collapsed. I could no longer single handedly hold my self up and fell under the weight of what I created. Too many failed attempts to be social and 1-2 successes over the years combined with the stress being social creates brought me further down into depression than square 1. Haven't had any improvement since. I still have the friend, but the relationship is in an at risk state. Most of my longterm obsessions are gone, attributed to depression.
Traits:
Obsessive tendencies in thought, collections, and perfectionism. Fail at social life, highly impaired ability to connect (by magnitudes online). I have gotten better about the one way talking. Any socialization is mentally taxing. Improper body language at times with strange motor behaviors. High empathy for those I can connect with while being unable to perform upon it (true for any emotion). High disconnect from internal to external). Over sensitivities galore with under sensitivity in pain. Intelligent and a high performance employee. Anything stem academia I excel at. Excellent factual memory, poor episodic memory. INTJ with an extreme on intuition. The only hobbies I have right now are walking a dog and watching animes. Video games drop in and out of the hobby list.
Adhd is well controlled through medication and typically does not effect my daily life.
My asexuality is the exact definition of it and no more. I am not attracted to anyone, and have no aversions to being in relationships or being intimate like some do. I have never been in once to prove said concept. Finding people to date is like a double whammy with social issues and having no 'direction' from sexuality. It has caused great conflict over the years, as a long desire is to have a family while given up on finding someone to have that happen with.
I have suffered from forms of depression all of my adult life, as mentioned above. I have been on all classes of antidepressants with no luck (and usually going far into the bad reaction category) and counseling has had very little effect on reducing it. The dual root causes are social and loneliness. If I had something to motivated me (anchor per counselor), it probably would help. But all of my anchors of the past have been more social/have friends/be in a relationship. The high failure rate over years caused them to lose their effect.
I have a dog named Luna who keeps me into semi stable schedules. She is the only thing I care about where I live and will protect her with any means (pretty much my child). Definitely do not regret getting a support animal. She is the reason I still get out of bed everyday and somewhat take care of myself.
Anyway, new here.
Lifelong Aspie, formally diagnosed as an adult.
Joined to kill time, potentially fix my life, help others, and to solve the questions of the universe. I am a general open book (anonymizing data of course). I will post from time to time looking for advice or to help others.
Who is the Ninja:
I am a 20's ASD, ADHD, and Asexual Guy trying to make a life for himself. I luckily attached my obsessions with employable positions, so lack of work will never be an issue for me. Highly respected at the workplace, but do not know how much I am liked. I am smart and capable of far more than I do. Academically achieved, and plan to return to further my knowledge if I straighten out my life one day. I have lost all direction in life with a lack of motivation. I just don't know what I want long term anymore.
Aspergian Past:
(usually will refer to as ASD just because of the term changes), I had a fairly mild childhood. Always the extremely happy child with 0-1 friends. HS introduced major instability, where everyone was changing around me and I did not change at all. People started to get interested in dating and what not, with me completely oblivious and unable to understand. My disorder reared up in college. I spent a few years without any level of friend and without talking to anyone outside of requirements (eg answer class questions, group work). After a while, I started to obsessively studied human psychology that led me to appear normal in any business level social situation with occasional oddities.x I found a friend in that time as well. Then the rise collapsed. I could no longer single handedly hold my self up and fell under the weight of what I created. Too many failed attempts to be social and 1-2 successes over the years combined with the stress being social creates brought me further down into depression than square 1. Haven't had any improvement since. I still have the friend, but the relationship is in an at risk state. Most of my longterm obsessions are gone, attributed to depression.
Traits:
Obsessive tendencies in thought, collections, and perfectionism. Fail at social life, highly impaired ability to connect (by magnitudes online). I have gotten better about the one way talking. Any socialization is mentally taxing. Improper body language at times with strange motor behaviors. High empathy for those I can connect with while being unable to perform upon it (true for any emotion). High disconnect from internal to external). Over sensitivities galore with under sensitivity in pain. Intelligent and a high performance employee. Anything stem academia I excel at. Excellent factual memory, poor episodic memory. INTJ with an extreme on intuition. The only hobbies I have right now are walking a dog and watching animes. Video games drop in and out of the hobby list.
Adhd is well controlled through medication and typically does not effect my daily life.
My asexuality is the exact definition of it and no more. I am not attracted to anyone, and have no aversions to being in relationships or being intimate like some do. I have never been in once to prove said concept. Finding people to date is like a double whammy with social issues and having no 'direction' from sexuality. It has caused great conflict over the years, as a long desire is to have a family while given up on finding someone to have that happen with.
I have suffered from forms of depression all of my adult life, as mentioned above. I have been on all classes of antidepressants with no luck (and usually going far into the bad reaction category) and counseling has had very little effect on reducing it. The dual root causes are social and loneliness. If I had something to motivated me (anchor per counselor), it probably would help. But all of my anchors of the past have been more social/have friends/be in a relationship. The high failure rate over years caused them to lose their effect.
I have a dog named Luna who keeps me into semi stable schedules. She is the only thing I care about where I live and will protect her with any means (pretty much my child). Definitely do not regret getting a support animal. She is the reason I still get out of bed everyday and somewhat take care of myself.
whoops, got to keep track of those. But enough of my jibes, welcome! I too am likely asexual, or possibly too interested in books to look up and see the real boys, and perfectionism is my favourite ludicrous pass time! 
