A network of friends

[IntoTheVoid]

I read a book about a local gangster. He was not a good person, because he committed many crimes, including theft, murder and pretty much anything. But what I noticed is how great he was at building a network of friends.

He had so many friends, including many influential people - celebrities, powerful politicians, cops (so he always knew when he was being investigated) and many more. He also could keep track of all of these people, remember everything about them and he always knew what the people wanted and how he could give it to them.

He was such successful "business man" and rich and cops never got him. Of course, he was eventually assassinated by a hitman, but still...

Maybe he was so great because he was a psychopath and he had never seen people as people, but more like tools for how to get things he needed and wanted. But it's not that simple, because there are many psychopaths (e. g. serial killers) and not all of them have great social skills and there are many people who are not psychopaths, but they are actually great...

It's probably not a good thing to admire a gangster, but I kinda admire his ability to understand people. I am the exact opposite - I am a loner, an asocial, an autistic weirdo who has almost no friends and whenever I try to socialize, it never ends well. I probably make more enemies than friends, when I open my mouth.

I think the ability to create such a network of influential friends is probably the most important one in our society. Let's say you have two musicians. One is really a great musician, very creative, talented and skilled, but no one knows him, because he doesn't know how to sell his talent - he doesn't know who to contact or what to do. The other musician is not that great - his music is rather mediocre, but he knows many people. This friend owns a record label, this friend works for him as an agent, this friend is famous and can open many doors for his music career and so on. So the other one will be probably far more successfull.

Really, this is a mystery - how come some people have such great social skills? What is their secret? As an autistic person, I totally don't get this.

 

[Forest Cat]

When you say network of friends, I think the word "acquaintances" is better. Gangsters usually have few friends. And fear and money is a powerful motivator to be someones 'friend'.

 

[Rodafina]

Really, this is a mystery - how come some people have such great social skills?

It’s not necessarily good social skills, but an ability to seem powerful and important, probably by having resources like money or business connections.

What is their secret?

Manipulation of others.

As an autistic person, I totally don't get this.

I think that’s a good thing. This person has not procured friends for themself. They control people, offer things in exchange for allegiance, or have ways to hurt them physically, emotionally, or financially if they do not ally themselves with the one in the middle.

 

[Choosekindness]

I read a book about a local gangster. He was not a good person, because he committed many crimes, including theft, murder and pretty much anything. But what I noticed is how great he was at building a network of friends.

He had so many friends, including many influential people - celebrities, powerful politicians, cops (so he always knew when he was being investigated) and many more. He also could keep track of all of these people, remember everything about them and he always knew what the people wanted and how he could give it to them.

He was such successful "business man" and rich and cops never got him. Of course, he was eventually assassinated by a hitman, but still...

Maybe he was so great because he was a psychopath and he had never seen people as people, but more like tools for how to get things he needed and wanted. But it's not that simple, because there are many psychopaths (e. g. serial killers) and not all of them have great social skills and there are many people who are not psychopaths, but they are actually great...

It's probably not a good thing to admire a gangster, but I kinda admire his ability to understand people. I am the exact opposite - I am a loner, an asocial, an autistic weirdo who has almost no friends and whenever I try to socialize, it never ends well. I probably make more enemies than friends, when I open my mouth.

I think the ability to create such a network of influential friends is probably the most important one in our society. Let's say you have two musicians. One is really a great musician, very creative, talented and skilled, but no one knows him, because he doesn't know how to sell his talent - he doesn't know who to contact or what to do. The other musician is not that great - his music is rather mediocre, but he knows many people. This friend owns a record label, this friend works for him as an agent, this friend is famous and can open many doors for his music career and so on. So the other one will be probably far more successfull.

Really, this is a mystery - how come some people have such great social skills? What is their secret? As an autistic person, I totally don't get this.

I had to study about people like him. To make sure I don't get taken. Lol not going too well because I fight against my authentic she and put mask down and wam!
There's a book you should read, he is described to the T. It helped me and every other week I go back and reread. I recommend the audio one.
48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene. It helped me see the ugly world around me. Like omg that's their intentions. Just ugly.