A Nice Audition Experience (Part 1)

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

For those who are interested in a nice true story about a young Autistic person, I thought I would share our personal experiences that happened two days ago, regarding our ten year old Autistic son.

Yes, I know several of you here may not be into reality shows, or reality talent competitions, as seen by some past threads involving such, so instead of thinking about that, perhaps by reading this post some of you may see some good at least about such an audition attempt or talent show.

Our 10 year old Autistic son who loves to sing had notified me seven days ago he wanted to participate in-person for the auditions for America’s Got Talent this year, as last year he just submitted an online video audition. As his focus is on having fun, trying his best and getting experience, more than winning, I of course was fine with his request.

So, I then researched the closest city, which was Louisville, KY, and saw the audition date of November 19th, was enough time for our son to learn a new song, if we did not use a past cover song he sang, to sing a-cappella for the audition, as each performer had only 90 seconds to showcase their talent.

The next step was for us to pick a song for that contest. We tried having our son singing a-cappella several of the softer rock, pop or ballad songs he sang on YouTube, but they did not seem to fit because of lyrics, or too slow or soft, or as we felt the judge or judges would not like those songs for such a contest.

We decided we needed a song to sing that was faster pace, and with lyrics and feeling that would be more receptive because no instrumentals would be allowed. Our son chose “Getting To Know You” by Julie Andrews, and he agreed we should try to make it original somehow, and pick the best part to sing, for that 90 second audition.

So, after revising some of the words in the beginning part of the song, and deleting the first few lines that the original singer sung, we had our son practice singing the following words, making sure the pitches, tempo and feeling shown resembled largely like the original singer, but with our son also putting his own movements, tone and feeling into it, as he could do or as he saw fit.

The following is the song our son would practice and sing to the AGT judge, 5 days later.

“As a singer I’ve been learning,
I hope you see I will try
As now I’ll sing this song for you
I am proud, I am not shy

(After a 1-2 second supposed-to-be rest delay he proceeds singing)

Getting to know you. (Our son practices uses then his right hand to make a forward sweeping motion welcoming gesture to the expected judge)

(After another 1-2 second supposed-to-be rest delay he proceeds singing the main part of the song)

Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you

Getting to like you (Our son uses his left hand to tap his heart and uses this hand to then make a forward sweeping motion gesture to the judge)
Getting to hope you like me

Getting to know you
Putting it my way but nicely

You are precisely
My cup of tea (Our son uses his right hand to step down in a zig zag pattern to reflect the dropping pitches)

Getting to know you
Getting to feel free and easy

When I am with you
Getting to know what to say

Haven’t you noticed (From this point on our son decides to sway while singing the rest of the lyrics.)
Suddenly I’m bright and breezy

Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I’m learning about you

Day by Day.”

So, after 5 days of such practice, and our son seems really ready and excited to audition, we are ready to depart for the 8 hour drive, with us to stay at a hotel after we arrive in that audition city, and to walk to the large building the next morning where the auditions will be held.

As I like driving, that 8 hour drive went well, and seemed fast. Our son listened to the music on the radio and sang those songs along the way. When checking in at the hotel at 4pm, the clerk asked us why we travelled here, knowing we lived two states away. I said our son wanted to enter the AGT contest a few streets away. The hotel guy-said, “Oh, I forgot about that.”

There were two guys standing behind us in line and the younger said he too was here for the auditions, and he offered to walk with us to find the location, so as to ease our stress the next morning in finding the location. Somehow I trusted the guy, as he looked to be with his older father, and as he said his act was comedy when I asked. He looked like a comedian the way he talked and smiled.

Anyway, all four of us walked together, found the location about a four minute walk away, and I got good advice from the younger guy, with him saying we should arrive at 6am tomorrow for the auditions, if able, despite the doors not supposed to open at 8am, or else we would be standing outside a long time, or sitting all day in the building for the auditions, as he expected a huge amount of people for the auditions, as it was the first time the auditions were held in that city.

After getting back to the hotel and ordering a pizza, my son and I went to bed early. I could not sleep at all as the city traffic there was loud, with loud vehicles and sirens all night. So, I stayed awake all night, got up when I saw the clock at 5am and awoke my son in the other bed, and we ate breakfast, got ready, put on our new clothes, checked out of the hotel, and walked to the large glass windowed building where the auditions were held. (To be continued).

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

At 6am we arrived at the Kentucky International Convention Center where the AGT auditions were held, and there were only about 30 people standing outside in line, 17 of which were supporters of the about 13 performers in front of us there. So, we felt some relief we were near the front of the line, as eventually we learned through research up to 4000 attended the auditions. Our son wanted to sing earlier in the day, as he has difficulties waiting.

An emoji guy with yellow emoji buttons all over his bright costume was not far behind us in line, outside the building, and either an AGT staff person or local news crew was filming and interviewing him as he was a comedy act and stood out in the crowd, and a mother daughter team to the front of the line were singing and playing instrument. They were amazing. The girl was about age ten to twelve. I would not be surprised if they advanced because of their talent.

Everyone in line outside seemed a bit cold, but eventually got colorful wristbands, pink for the supporters and orange for the performers, and each got a rectangle audition number sticker, to be kept with them at all times. AGT staff opened the doors at 7am, an hour earlier than expected, inspected one-by-one everyone’s belongings inside, by security team, and then everyone showed their paperwork, online ticket, and IDs, and were given another form to complete later, with several questions asked there.

Then everyone who got past that step of the process, was directed to the left to a huge holding room, mostly carpeted floor, and told to sit near the center, near the lighted big AGT sign. One-by-one many that congregated in that area practiced doing their acts in front of that lighted AGT sign, stepping on one of the black or white checkerboard tiled floor squares there.

Our son wanted to be the first one to practice in front of the sign, but I instructed him to wait several minutes to watch others first. Some acts that practiced played just instruments, did a comedy skit, and one was a magician, but most were just singers. Our son decided to take his turn to practice in front of that sign, right after another quieter singer performed.

At around 9:30 am our son started to get a little worried that audition numbers were not called yet to perform their acts, as at 9am a guy on speaker in that large holding room said they would be announcing very soon the first set of numbers who would be auditioning. We expected to be called in that first grouping, as we were near the front of the line outside, over three and a half hours prior.

At 10am, the numbers were announced. Each in the crowd was to look at the last four digits, and if was between 1001 and 1050 they were told to come to the large open area in the area outside the holding room to congregate. That area looked like a small airport setting, with an escalator too. There appeared to be three or four judges there.

One of the judges pointed to about 15 people and told them to follow the woman judge down the escalator and into another open area, but it was a smaller open area, with a row of ten seats facing another ten seats. Our son and I were one of those 15 asked to follow and to go to that location and sit there.

After the fifteen of us were seated, the woman judge sorted the paperwork of the performers to her liking. She told the group of us fifteen that soon we all would be going to the audition room, and that each performer was allowed to bring a supporter, which relieved many of those who were seated, including I, as our son had some comprehension issues if things were not worded a certain way.

We all were directed now to a small audition room, with about twenty chairs that were lined on the right side of the wall, with an x on the floor in the center of the room, and with the Judge’s desk in front of that x ten feet away on an adjacent wall. Soon the auditions would begin, after the judge welcomed us all and was about to announce the first performer.

But first the judge said every performer would have to introduce themselves, by stating their name, age, location they reside, and something unique or special about them. I started to panic then, as at home we were not anticipating that, but expecting the judge to ask performers questions one by one. For the five days prior I would thus just prepare him by asking a serious of questions that I expected the judge would ask.

The good news is we had practiced all those questions. The bad news was, our son usually speaks only a sentence at a time, and rarely ever strings back to back sentences together without longer delay, much less did I think he could potentially four short sentences together, that the judge basically wanted.

Our 10 year old son turns to me to ask what an Introduction means, after that judge said each had to give such in that manner she said, so after the judge called the first performer to sing, and that girl gave the Introduction the way the judge wanted before being told to sing her song, I had to whisper in our son’s ear that the judge would not be asking him questions, so after it was his turn to stand in the x, could he please just tell the judge his first name, his age, and mention he has Autism, before stating where he lived.

At first our son was pushing my hand away as if to tell me to be quiet, so I proceeded to tell him again exactly what I wanted him to say, as otherwise, I thought our son would stand on the x waiting for the judge to ask questions, which I knew she would not. I knew our son did not know what an introduction even was, so I felt I had a right to advise him quietly at that moment what to do.

The great news is our son apparently was listening to and comprehending what I said on that day moments before his audition, as he had apparently had the ability to string back to back many sentences without pause, as he was asked to audition next and did his introduction perfectly. Then the judge asked him what song he would be singing, and he answered that back without pause, too.

Then his singing audition began. His feelings shown, movements, pitches and pace at singing seemed perfect, and his sincerity singing that song “Getting To Know You” too. After he performed, as was the case for all the others, everyone clapped. Our son’s situation seemed a bit more unique though, as one guy stood up and fist bumped him after he sang. Then our son instinctively fist bumped all the other fourteen or so sitting in their chairs, smiling and with excitement as he did such.

Then the judge says, ‘“I feel left out. I wanted one too.” I knew our son did likely not know what she meant by this as he froze briefly and looked confused. So I whispered in his ear telling him she wants you to fist bump her too, as judge Howie Mandel famously often does for that show and for other shows he hosted. After everyone performed, the judge nicely thanked us all and said we were all free to go home.

So, the point of writing this story is to say it is ok to follow your passion. Our son loves gaming and singing. Regardless if he ever pursues these as a career later, the focus should be just on having fun, learning about others and new experiences, and learning from any mistakes. I have said this before, but success is how we define it. Regardless if he gets called back to the next round in January, as the judge said that is when such calls will be made, our son had fun and is learning and enjoying those special moments, no matter how big or small.

 

[Tom]

I have a musically talented nephew on the spectrum. He was diagnosed early and needed a lot of support early on but has made good progress and has played in bands since High School. He went to college for music and still is actively playing/performing a few years on. One of his other special interests is bird watching and he works as a guide at a nature conservatory. His parents were very involved in both encouraging and facilitating his interests. So good work Dad and never give up hope. Things can work out.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

I have a musically talented nephew on the spectrum. He was diagnosed early and needed a lot of support early on but has made good progress and has played in bands since High School. He went to college for music and still is actively playing/performing a few years on. One of his other special interests is bird watching and he works as a guide at a nature conservatory. His parents were very involved in both encouraging and facilitating his interests. So good work Dad and never give up hope. Things can work out.

Thanks. We as parents strongly believe in his abilities, as he is the one that has initiated daily wanting to practice and perform in various locations, for the last three years, and he is doing such a great job there, showing great improvement and ability, more than we ever would have imagined. We just are helping him bring that talent out, to the fullest, teaching him in the way he understands best, and helping him create the opportunities in life he desires, from those things he loves.

We are glad your nephew too, and others on this forum have used their talents from childhood, as an adult too. This gives us hope that our son will not give up if the passion is still there later, for those things he loves, regardless of any obstacles in his way. Even myself, I had parents that always told me I would never amount to anything in life. Well, I am happy and try my best. I love writing and have written four books, and have two happy children and a wife. That is what matters. It is not about winning and losing sometimes, but being happy and trying. That is what our family focuses on.

 

[Aspychata]

That is so hearthwarming. That is what l constantly type out here, follow your passion. Your son was so confident and that goes back to the fact that your treat him with respect.

My daughter agreed to go to a performing arts high school. She started playing guitar. I didn't have the heart to say maybe singing isn't your shinny star but she was excellent at guitar and l decided it wasn't my place to say anything. She was on the spectrum, and like you, we celebrated and helped pursue her passions at that age. She still does artwork, something she has been doing since 2 years-old. l felt it was important and we often did it together.

Thank you for sharing and l wish for the best outcome for your son! Maybe there is a performing arts high school near you.Her school also provided excellent counseling as her parents were on the skids marriage-wise. And l am proud to say - she went thru drug free, unheard of in this day and age.

Main Street School Performing Arts , Hopkins, Minnesota, they had a decent curriculum, she loved the math classes, plenty of stage experience, she loved improv. She had been homeschool but was super excited about going. It was to far to bus so l drove her and picked her up everyday.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

That is so hearthwarming. That is what l constantly type out here, follow your passion. Your son was so confident and that goes back to the fact that your treat him with respect.

My daughter agreed to go to a performing arts high school. She started playing guitar. I didn't have the heart to say maybe singing isn't your shinny star but she was excellent at guitar and l decided it wasn't my place to say anything. She was on the spectrum, and like you, we celebrated and helped pursue her passions at that age. She still does artwork, something she has been doing since 2 years-old. l felt it was important and we often did it together.

Thank you for sharing and l wish for the best outcome for your son! Maybe there is a performing arts high school near you.Her school also provided excellent counseling as her parents were on the skids marriage-wise. And l am proud to say - she went thru drug free, unheard of in this day and age.

Main Street School Performing Arts , Hopkins, Minnesota, they had a decent curriculum, she loved the math classes, plenty of stage experience, she loved improv. She had been homeschool but was super excited about going. It was to far to bus so l drove her and picked her up everyday.

Thanks for your kind words, and for your great suggestions. You seem like a great parent, with much care and wisdom. There are less of those these days, but the ones that care certainly often are helping others to make up for that.

Our sons will be fine as can be, and we will continue to be there for them as adults too in whatever capacity they desire or need. We certainly will consider a music school program as he gets a bit older.

Fortunately, they have a nationally known arts and music school five minutes away from us. That is partially why we moved here a few years ago, and as this son wanted us to pick another state with lots of lakes. We will try to get a scholarship later likely for him for that.

 

[Gracey]

Such a great story. My hat goes off to you.

Your son expressed a desire, you encouraged and supported him.

Not focused on what he can't do,
You created the opportunity for him to showcase what he loved to do.

I can only imagine you were both worn out at the end of it all, the time, the effort, the cost,
I believe it pales into insignificance when one considers the experiences, knowledge gained and delight.

I loved the description of your son pushing your hand away as if to 'shush' you

he'd paid attention to your instruction on introductions and observed other applicants' introductions,
(they brought your instruction to life, followed protocol)
from your description he handled it beautifully.

I don't think children can grow and develop skills if parents limit opportunity because they're afraid of a label or judgement from others.

Your son can sing and perform practised songs in a new and different environment and learn how to introduce himself correctly,
because nobody told him he couldn't.

Thanks for sharing your account of the experience.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Such a great story. My hat goes off to you.

Your son expressed a desire, you encouraged and supported him.

Not focused on what he can't do,
You created the opportunity for him to showcase what he loved to do.

I can only imagine you were both worn out at the end of it all, the time, the effort, the cost,
I believe it pales into insignificance when one considers the experiences, knowledge gained and delight.

I loved the description of your son pushing your hand away as if to 'shush' you

he'd paid attention to your instruction on introductions and observed other applicants' introductions,
(they brought your instruction to life, followed protocol)
from your description he handled it beautifully.

I don't think children can grow and develop skills if parents limit opportunity because they're afraid of a label or judgement from others.

Your son can sing and perform practised songs in a new and different environment and learn how to introduce himself correctly,
because nobody told him he couldn't.

Thanks for sharing your account of the experience.

Thank you. Yes, I understood growing up the harms of being sheltered, as that partly turned me very inward, avoidant, and fearful. And I understood much the harms of criticism, negativity, and rejection, as that caused me to be that shy, withdrawn and anxious way, too. So, having learned from all that, I understood some things I could do opposite of our parents to help our children. I became self-motivated to be my best. In our son’s case,genetics likely are at least partly driving his ambitions and abilities.

We as parents try to keep an equal balance of finding ways for our children to learn to become more independent and confident, yet at the same time not put them in situations where they will be hurt a lot, or feel like they failed a lot. I mean, we are not lenient parents, but not overbearing. We focus on positive ways for them to see most experiences in life, but we do realize there are people out there that are users and abusers. I am very mindful of that.

Yes, we are proud of this son for how he handled such a new and big situation for him. I am always amazed at how fearless he is. At age seven even he wanted to always be the first on stage to sing weekly at a local child-friendly entertainment place. I would have to instruct him to wait his turn, but once he set foot on stage then, you could see the thrill in his eyes, and the confidence he had singing and moving.

That year singing, he even surprised us one week by picking a duet song, “Somewhere Out There” , after having heard it just a few times before, and singing it all by himself on stage, changing the tone and pitches even to reflect the man and woman lyric parts. We were not expecting that, but the crowd loved not only that unique attempt, but his vocal abilities at age seven. He has excellent ear training, memory and pattern recognition abilities, as well as great eye tracking and rapid visual processing abilities.

So, whatever this son chooses to do in life later, we know he will be good at. That is why our focus now is also on having him learn daily important life skills, and in trying to read people’s language, behaviors, gestures, expressions and intentions, as best as he can, as these things will make life easier for him in the future too, in his personal, occupational and/or relationship life... As for being tired, from the long drive, lack of sleep and the whole a bit longer experience, yes, but more for me, as being around many others can drain me, and as I worried about the drive back home after no sleep. Our son had a long nap in the car after, and he gets energy being around others. I am surprised the very loud noises at night at the hotel did not disturb him much. He never complained about it. He jumped out of bed at 5am after I awoke him that morning and said, “Lets go.” He could not wait.