A question About NT Behavior

[Gerald Wilgus]

I was following an article about the owner of an Indiana candy shop who posted an ad that was misogynistic where he referred to "splitters," eviidently people who talk about others to people to marginalize their target. I'm sure others here have seen that in action.

So I was wondering if this is a NT trait, an attempt at social dominance by posing as a thought leader when they have no positive compentencies in other aspects of their lives? How does one push back against or diminish the effect of such toxic people?

 

[Magna]

I've never heard the term "splitters" before and still have no idea what it's supposed to stand for/mean after you've described it.

To each their own. If there are people out there in the world that feel it's imperative for them to keep up on the constantly changing (not an exaggeration) social constructs created by a few, more power to them.

No way will I devote my life to learning and knowing the continual new labels, terms, ideas, agendas, etc, nor will I feel shame for not knowing every new thing each day.

Also, many that are in school, college, university in which they're closest to where these concepts often originate will be hard pressed to stay current once they get out in the "real world" and start working, possibly starting and raising a family, etc.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

So a splitter then is a gossip mongering liar?

I use compassion against the agents of the adversary. There is almost always something good or positive to say.

I disagree with @Magna but that's a personal choice. I need to know about modern culture(all fake) and slang. It's important to me bc I am a stranger in a strange land. I don't always express myself well, never did I ever watch golf on TV, the list of atypical traits is a long one. Not a lot of common ground

So maybe I'm not so much anti social as I am a snob. I don't like modern culture much, seems pointless, and very commercial.

Anyways vocabulary is tactical information, and as such, valuable.
Maybe we should start a slang thread

 

[Nitro]

I was following an article about the owner of an Indiana candy shop who posted an ad that was misogynistic where he referred to "splitters," eviidently people who talk about others to people to marginalize their target. I'm sure others here have seen that in action.

So I was wondering if this is a NT trait, an attempt at social dominance by posing as a thought leader when they have no positive compentencies in other aspects of their lives? How does one push back against or diminish the effect of such toxic people?

I don't believe it can be narrowed down to NT vs. ND, it's just human behavior.
I see no reason to add yet another neurological divide to any issue for the sake of defining yet another label that is not mainstream.

 

[Nitro]

Please tread carefully here, we are welcoming to all.

 

[unperson]

Smear campaigns and character assasination are tools some use. I don't know that it's an NT characteristic, but I have seen it in sociopaths and borderlines - the highly manipulative/highly social folks are the most likely to use it.

Very hard to do anything about it unless one is socially connected to the target audience... or it's a legal matter.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Please tread carefully here, we are welcoming to all.

I understand now. Put it down to a brain fart.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Well if it's not just about slang vocabulary, then I would need more relevant data as strategos. If you are being victimized by gossip directed at you,, are you under social constraint to be a participant or witness to that sort of thing?
I set the bar really high for honesty. This is just the kind of topic that is confusing to me. Perhaps try and explain the situation as it affects you, or is this hypothetical?
There is one guiding light, and that is that the most important decision, we ,any of us, ever make is the people we choose to associate with. It's ok to discriminate[character traits], be exclusive, and have closed circles socially. Some ppl are creepy and gross. I always seek about the other person's views on objective reality, and if they have to speak the truth to those they dislike. Also I listen to what they say that is complimentary of others.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Like I discriminate against drunks, druggies, and liars. I exclude those who give me the impression that they are better than everyone(like if they never say anything nice about anyone) my social circle is closed to ppl that are dangerous, but I won't lie about any of it. Lying takes away from my integrity, I need all that I have. So when I exclude people I do it with tact and courtesy if I can, but sometimes that's really hard. Esp if you have to work with the ppl in question. I wish you well

 

[Thinx]

This is not a term I can narrow down from what you have said, none of the definitionsof the word bring up anything like what you vaguely described, so I can't understand what you mean.

But you said it was misogynistic, which means negative towards women, and there is quite a sexually referential use of the word that's been around since the 19th century, that's basically referring to guys who sleep around a lot. Their brain may not be the organ most relevant to that behaviour, I guess.

 

[unperson]

'splitting' get used to describe a bordeline PD behaviour which is like 'black and white' thinking, no shades of grey, all or nothing, love or hate. I haven't heard of it as a slang term, maybe it's new.

 

[ForestGumpett]

'splitting' get used to describe a bordeline PD behaviour which is like 'black and white' thinking, no shades of grey, all or nothing, love or hate. I haven't heard of it as a slang term, maybe it's new.

^^ This is what I had always thought it was, a term used for people with borderline personality disorder, usually the narcissistic kind. Everything is black or white, like they may like you one day and be nice, then cuss you out the next.

 

[Au Naturel]

"Splitters" that I've heard in slang about involved men's jeans that are extremely tight in the crotch.

In psychology it is a person who splits everything into polar opposites. Yes/no, black/white, good/evil, victory/defeat, with me/against me. No middle ground, no moral grey, no gender ambiguity, no possible compromise. People who are unable to deal with any kind of middle ground. Taken to an extreme, it would be a personality disorder.

Not specifically an NT thing.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I was following an article about the owner of an Indiana candy shop who posted an ad that was misogynistic where he referred to "splitters," eviidently people who talk about others to people to marginalize their target. I'm sure others here have seen that in action.

So I was wondering if this is a NT trait, an attempt at social dominance by posing as a thought leader when they have no positive compentencies in other aspects of their lives? How does one push back against or diminish the effect of such toxic people?

I don't think this is exclusively a NT trait.

When one group wishes to dominate another,...or if a person wishes to dominate another person,...either way, the technique is to find some seemingly inferior trait or fault, then exploit it for some sort of gain.

Several examples:


Racial groups, skin color, religious affiliations, sexual orientation and identity, etc. Do the same thing,...marginalize, separate, perceive them as the enemy, etc.

An abusive husband vs. his wife. Bully vs. victim.

To a lesser extent, even on this site, I have been guilty of a bit of marginalization of neurotypicals, pointing out differences and some faults in an attempt to make insecure, low self esteem autistics feel better about themselves.

Use what term you want, but it is about finding differences and exploiting it in some way.

 

[tree]

The store in the article was Good's Candy Shop.
The owner wrote his ideas of what he figures was
typical female behavior. He referred to it as "splitting."

Spoiler

Here is the full post copied from the Good’s Candy Shop Facebook page:

“We are getting close to candy/ice cream Librium!
Positions available - Full or Part Time
* Customer Greeting & Service
* Ice Cream Cake Decorating
and other Ice Cream Duties
* Packaging
If any of these sound good to you our starting wage is $11 per hour. Apply at the shop!
Working for Good's is fairly easy as long as you "Work Hard, Be Nice". This is our motto!
I've seen every kind of human being in my 40 years in business. I pretty much know within an hour what kind of employee or if an employee someone is going to be. Most interview very well and it turns out well. Some interview well and it turns out not so well.
I've heard every excuse for not being able to perform here. Every excuse begins with "can't" which translates to "I don't want to". ha! Can you imagine saying to your boss, after you've read and claimed to have understood what is required of you, that you can't do it? Why I would have died before saying that! ha!
We've had the know it all, the complainer, whiner, lazy, manipulative, roamers, hiders, absent or late, liars, haters, clock watchers, willful, controller, passive aggressor, puker ( I'll explain in a moment) and worst of all combined, the splitters.
Splitting is a behavior of girls, young mostly but not always. Usually taught by their mothers. This is the person who talks about others in an attempt to split people apart and feel better about themselves. You know, "so and so said this about you and I couldn't believe it! so and so is so stuck up that she thinks she's better than us". And so it goes. This my friends, is poison in action. These misguided gals have no end game. It's just spreading and stirring all the while believing they are innocent. It's such a common thing among girls. This is where toxicity and drama find their roots.
I'll admit, it's hard to deal with. They are very good at what they do. Many times they are good workers which is even more frustrating. I can also say with certainty, there is no cure. I've tried over the years but they can't fix what they don't believe to be true. They deny it 100% of the time. They call it "helping".
Boys seldom practice this. They just duke it out! ha!
If a splitter can recruit, which is one of her tools, she feels vindicated. If she can't find someone to join her she will leave.
Pukers are those we know, and just like splitters, we all know one, who approach you daily, dump their stuff on you and then go about their business. All they want to do is complain about their stuff to someone who will listen so they can feel normal. They walk away and each time you are left holding this bag of puke. They feel great and you feel, well... like you've been puked on! They are exhausting.
Some of these behaviors we can manage. Most we can't. Since we demand friendliness, courteousness, hard work and more, bad behaviors pop up quickly. It's the worst part of employing folks.
If they make it so far as it reaches me, I free up their future. Most of the time our culture will drum them out. If they can't find reception of their poor behavior they move on.
On the other side of this are the wonderful people we have in our employ. Everyone works hard. Everyone is friendly. They either brought the tools with them or learned our way of doing things. When they hit on what we do, it's a very rewarding thing to see. It's the most joyful experience I have here.
If you enjoy being your best, Good's is for you!
Randy Good”

Good’s Candy Shop Owner calls Women “Lazy, Manipulative, Liars” and “Pukers” in Sexist Facebook Post

He contrasted his concept of male/female behavior in what was ostensibly a want ad.

The owner has since apologized.
UPDATE: Good's owner speaks about controversial Facebook post

 

[WildCat]

Sounds a lot like spreading rumors, and the "splitting" the owner refers to here can be a consequence of that. "Splitting" is a term I've never heard of until now, but the former I'm definitely familiar with.

 

[unperson]

After reading the article, I've definitely met some 'pukers' and 'splitters' then.

 

[Au Naturel]

The store in the article was Good's Candy Shop.
The owner wrote his ideas of what he figures was
typical female behavior. He referred to it as "splitting."

Spoiler

Here is the full post copied from the Good’s Candy Shop Facebook page:

“We are getting close to candy/ice cream Librium!
Positions available - Full or Part Time
* Customer Greeting & Service
* Ice Cream Cake Decorating
and other Ice Cream Duties
* Packaging
If any of these sound good to you our starting wage is $11 per hour. Apply at the shop!
Working for Good's is fairly easy as long as you "Work Hard, Be Nice". This is our motto!
I've seen every kind of human being in my 40 years in business. I pretty much know within an hour what kind of employee or if an employee someone is going to be. Most interview very well and it turns out well. Some interview well and it turns out not so well.
I've heard every excuse for not being able to perform here. Every excuse begins with "can't" which translates to "I don't want to". ha! Can you imagine saying to your boss, after you've read and claimed to have understood what is required of you, that you can't do it? Why I would have died before saying that! ha!
We've had the know it all, the complainer, whiner, lazy, manipulative, roamers, hiders, absent or late, liars, haters, clock watchers, willful, controller, passive aggressor, puker ( I'll explain in a moment) and worst of all combined, the splitters.
Splitting is a behavior of girls, young mostly but not always. Usually taught by their mothers. This is the person who talks about others in an attempt to split people apart and feel better about themselves. You know, "so and so said this about you and I couldn't believe it! so and so is so stuck up that she thinks she's better than us". And so it goes. This my friends, is poison in action. These misguided gals have no end game. It's just spreading and stirring all the while believing they are innocent. It's such a common thing among girls. This is where toxicity and drama find their roots.
I'll admit, it's hard to deal with. They are very good at what they do. Many times they are good workers which is even more frustrating. I can also say with certainty, there is no cure. I've tried over the years but they can't fix what they don't believe to be true. They deny it 100% of the time. They call it "helping".
Boys seldom practice this. They just duke it out! ha!
If a splitter can recruit, which is one of her tools, she feels vindicated. If she can't find someone to join her she will leave.
Pukers are those we know, and just like splitters, we all know one, who approach you daily, dump their stuff on you and then go about their business. All they want to do is complain about their stuff to someone who will listen so they can feel normal. They walk away and each time you are left holding this bag of puke. They feel great and you feel, well... like you've been puked on! They are exhausting.
Some of these behaviors we can manage. Most we can't. Since we demand friendliness, courteousness, hard work and more, bad behaviors pop up quickly. It's the worst part of employing folks.
If they make it so far as it reaches me, I free up their future. Most of the time our culture will drum them out. If they can't find reception of their poor behavior they move on.
On the other side of this are the wonderful people we have in our employ. Everyone works hard. Everyone is friendly. They either brought the tools with them or learned our way of doing things. When they hit on what we do, it's a very rewarding thing to see. It's the most joyful experience I have here.
If you enjoy being your best, Good's is for you!
Randy Good”

Good’s Candy Shop Owner calls Women “Lazy, Manipulative, Liars” and “Pukers” in Sexist Facebook Post

He contrasted his concept of male/female behavior in what was ostensibly a want ad.

The owner has since apologized.
UPDATE: Good's owner speaks about controversial Facebook post

That's a different meaning to splitting. And puking. Glad he apologized. I suspect he will not be forgiven but rather canceled and punished for his heresy.

Essentially he said he doesn't want to hire anyone with psychological baggage. He only wants to hire those he interprets as being mentally healthy and having a strong work ethic. Sounds like most employers, only he was willing to say it. He really screwed up when he included his stereotypes of gender behavior.

There may be some experiential basis in what he thinks of as masculine and feminine behavior. He may well have personally experienced females gossiping and conniving to break people apart and boys settling disputes with fights. He then incorrectly generalized his experience to the entire species.

When I was a kid in the 1960s, everything he said would have been accepted by many as truth and wisdom. Times changed and he did not.

 

[Gift2humanity]

To the OP
I never heard the word splitter before.

Because you said misogynistic, where I originally come from, some of the more crude men call women "split-arses" that's what I thought you meant.

Back to the question, it's basically identifying and suitably dealing with toxic people, whether that be disengaging from them, if you are not stuck with them.

If you are stuck with them, look up "petty tyrant" on Google.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

I wouldn't work for that guy. That's a want ad? I smell intoxication! Not sure if it's really chauvinistic or not, but dude doesn't talk about hours, duties what they make! I had a boss that used to get all coked up and come into the kitchen on the weekends. High as a freaking satellite. Dude would scream out stuff and make a big mess and frighten everyone.