about me, Sherri

[PurpleUnycorn52]

My therapist says that she wants me to start socializing and make some friends. I am 52 now I have never had friends cause I never socialized I can't handle loud noise's I can't handle being around people I don't leave my bedroom unless I have to I don't feel safe anywhere. I am pretty much afraid of everything. I have panic attacks when things are extremely stressful I startle easy. I was in learning disability classes I am deaf in my left ear and hard of hearing in my right I also have high frequency hearing loss I have fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, asthma, pseudoseizures, PTSD, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, eczema, neuropathy, mild cataract's, gerd, IBS, I use a 4wheeled walker with a seat I get dizzy and fall over sometimes I faint I also have sinus tachycardia. I have had 4 heart attacks. Last one was a little more severe they ambulance EMT gave me 4 baby aspirin and a nitro I was feeling a bit better by time I got to the hospital. I have a very beautiful adult daughter, two companion dogs Cocoa and Zelda I like all kind of music, I am going to highschool at Penn Foster I graduated from highschool in 1983 but I wanted to see if I could do it without the LD classes I want to try to go to college at Penn Foster I do this online so far I am making A's and B's I pay $49 month for highschool this includes tuition and books. I love reading, playing games on my phone, singing even if I am off key or miss words I can't hear certain letter's or word's , I like painting, writing poetry, drawing, all I need to do is learn to trust and not be afraid, I also use American Sign Language, I have used American Sign Language since I was 12 years old I taught myself, I never met any deaf people until highschool I was in the 10th grade. I ended up being a teachers aid for Mrs Pfiefer I spent all my free time in the library back in a corner under a table where I could be alone and no one could see me. I want to know how to be sure my therapist is right. She says because I never socialized or really talked to people the fact with loud noise issues especially if I can't control the noise. I hate being in large or small crowds or places. I can't handle people arguing and fighting around me. I self injure. Well not so much it only happens when my anxiety level is high. I don't like being outside I only go out if I have to. I am afraid of storms especially lightening.

 

[StephF]

Hi & Welcome.

Just a tip, writing in paragraphs helps people read your content.

Otherwise people (myself included) experience the "Wall of Text" feeling and don't even bother reading.

Enjoy the forums

 

[DanR]

Welcome, Sherri!
Your therapist wants you to start socializing and making new friends, and you want to know how to be sure your therapist is right. Well, people can think about it and talk about it all day, but the only way to know for sure is to try it. And you've made a big step here by writing to so many people. Congrats!
I took up ASL too, but it was because with it, I can still communicate when things get too loud. And sometimes my wife and I sign to each other in church or the library when talking out loud would be impolite.
But as they say in this foreign country where I am right now, "Welcome here!"

 

[tree]

 

[Nitro]

Welcome to AC!

 

[garnetflower13]

Welcome to AC! In my personal opinion, I think it is unrealistic of your therapist to expect you to learn to socialize at this stage of your life. Unless of course you want to do this! If you do, you can certainly have some wonderful positive experiences! But if the thought fills you with dread, then let her know that you don't really want to do this. I have had therapists who didn't understand autism push me into experiences that I would have been better off without. Please be sure your needs are being met and not those of someone else.

 

[biblophile]

My therapist says that she wants me to start socializing and make some friends. I am 52 now I have never had friends cause I never socialized I can't handle loud noise's I can't handle being around people I don't leave my bedroom unless I have to I don't feel safe anywhere. I am pretty much afraid of everything. I have panic attacks when things are extremely stressful I startle easy. I was in learning disability classes I am deaf in my left ear and hard of hearing in my right I also have high frequency hearing loss I have fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, asthma, pseudoseizures, PTSD, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, eczema, neuropathy, mild cataract's, gerd, IBS, I use a 4wheeled walker with a seat I get dizzy and fall over sometimes I faint I also have sinus tachycardia. I have had 4 heart attacks. Last one was a little more severe they ambulance EMT gave me 4 baby aspirin and a nitro I was feeling a bit better by time I got to the hospital. I have a very beautiful adult daughter, two companion dogs Cocoa and Zelda I like all kind of music, I am going to highschool at Penn Foster I graduated from highschool in 1983 but I wanted to see if I could do it without the LD classes I want to try to go to college at Penn Foster I do this online so far I am making A's and B's I pay $49 month for highschool this includes tuition and books. I love reading, playing games on my phone, singing even if I am off key or miss words I can't hear certain letter's or word's , I like painting, writing poetry, drawing, all I need to do is learn to trust and not be afraid, I also use American Sign Language, I have used American Sign Language since I was 12 years old I taught myself, I never met any deaf people until highschool I was in the 10th grade. I ended up being a teachers aid for Mrs Pfiefer I spent all my free time in the library back in a corner under a table where I could be alone and no one could see me. I want to know how to be sure my therapist is right. She says because I never socialized or really talked to people the fact with loud noise issues especially if I can't control the noise. I hate being in large or small crowds or places. I can't handle people arguing and fighting around me. I self injure. Well not so much it only happens when my anxiety level is high. I don't like being outside I only go out if I have to. I am afraid of storms especially lightening.

welcome to the forum. I too never leave the house. I have been harassed and beaten up by bullies in the out side world, even at 39 I am still bullied so I do not leave the house. I too got my high school diploma at Penn Foster, and am now working on a college degree. Again welcome and you are in a safe place to talk.

 

[toothless]

welcome to the group sherri, youve got loads of friends here!

 

[paloftoon]

I see what your therapist is trying to do sherri. I think she really cares about you actually. Maybe she should've added something such as try to accept the idea that you may have to experience infinite hardships and figure out on your own how you can deal with situations that occur. There's no way we can stay safe from everything forever and keep that as a healthy way of living. Being with people and leaving anything can be a very scary thing. You don't have to do it all at once. Maybe try starting with walking around your neighborhood even. It's up to you to find a way to progress. Your therapist is trying to guide you, and you need to help her help you give you some good suggestions I suspect.

What you wrote about what you are afraid of, it may help to put those fears on a piece of paper so that it is easier for the therapist to internalize. Sometimes, so many details by word of mouth just goes in one ear and out the ear. Try this for next time maybe. I hope it all goes well.