Absolutely sick of sex workers...

[Lemon Zing]

Been following several on X, normally just being friendly, agreeing with comments, and sometimes trying to cheer people up. And it became off putting to me recently when I went to see certain users who were initially decent, and it said I was blocked. Many of them on the other hand, seem incredibly pompous, angry and arrogant in a distinctively outlandish fashion, barking out orders for people to purchase gifts, and they love to call men simps, gloat about where they ate out, and just talk a lot of trash as a whole. I get the impression they have a mental health problem.

Then they complain that nobody books them or pledges tips towards their external platforms. Although why be shocked that nobody is interested after they just posted so much nonsense?

One thing that annoys me is that I would rather get a real girlfriend somehow, but I worry that people won't find me interesting, physically attractive, and so on. But I am nearly 40 and feel that I may very well be cursed to remain lonesome. But most of these sex workers just seem to have a shallow personality, minus a rather select few of them.

I used to enjoy seeing some escorts. But the aspect ratio of success was relatively modest, due to being mucked about, blocked, scammed and so on. Sometimes though, I did have the money to see someone, but then I would try to book one of the ones I was more keen to see. Then if something was a problem, I had no time to book the other lady as the plan B, and some only seldomly tour in Edinburgh.

There were times where I just wanted to concede and never attempt it again. But I think wanting sex too much was what kept making me re-try at it, with limited success.

Is it worth this level of hassle? Nope.

 

[Outdated]

But I think wanting sex too much was what kept making me re-try at it, with limited success.

That's not sex, it's just a very expensive wank. The difference is chalk and cheese. Become a regular at one of your local pubs and meet some real women. Character means a lot more than looks or age, always appear happy and cheerful and you'll do alright.

 

[Lemon Zing]

I hoped there would be a local dating site for autistic people, but there ain't zip. No neurotypical woman is gonna be into me. The competition is too great, and I think my conversation skills are too restrictive. Like, not having a social life means there is nothing to say. I'd have to rely on them saying something I may identify with.

I only know of the Thistle Foundation and Number 6 in Edinburgh, but the service users who attend know about my past problems with Autism Initiatives. So I've honestly avoided going there for years now.

 

[Raggamuffin]

Being blocked by escorts seems odd. Now I'm coming from having seen 17 different one's in the past 2 years, so let me weigh in here with my experiences. Firstly, being blocked is showing you're crossing a boundary. If it's happening multiple times, you need to work out the pattern here.

Communication methods are pretty clear cut with an escort. They don't want lengthy back and forth conversations. This is a business, and they all complain about people wasting their time, and people cancelling last minute.

So, with that in mind, use something similar as the introductory text message - provided they accept texts. Many prefer a phone call:

"Hello [Escort name], my name is [___].
I saw your profile on [website] and was wondering if you'd be available for a [duration] [In-call or Out-call]. Thank you."

When they reply, I tend to say I'll confirm on the website so we can leave each other feedback. Remember this is their living, and feedback is very useful for them. And in the same text ask them to confirm their address if they haven't already.

Let them know when you're leaving your house, or when you're 5 or 10 minutes away. Then call them when you're on the street they've told you to go to. When you have finished the visit, I send only one text message and only after I have left them feedback on the website. Keep it brief and polite. Something along the lines of:

"Thank you for a lovely time, it was nice meeting you. I have left you a positive feedback. x"

Now - regarding scammers. Go by feedback. Go with escorts who have good feedback. Anyone who is hiding their feedback on their profile is a big red flag. Don't visit anyone who asks you to make a deposit before you visit them. Some will be genuine, and do it because of how many cancellations they've had in the past. But honestly, it's not worth the risk.

Finally - it sounds like you might be drawn to a certain type of escort. Women who are into dominating men and looking for "pay pigs" etc. are likely to come across as very arrogant and mean spirited. But following them on social media seems odd to me. Again, remember theirs is a business. Follow your friends and creatives or celebrities that inspire you. Following people who constantly trigger urges of lust or inadequacy isn't the way forwards.

Talking from personal experience - if you want a pleasant escort experience, look for an English escort. This isn't being racist, as I've seen numerous nationalities and quickly noticed a pattern. Colombian or Brazilian were the warmest of the foreign escorts I met, but I think meeting someone from the same country as you raises your chances of the encounter being a positive one. Also, I'd suggest going with escorts who say they will kiss. There is nothing worse in my mind than a sexual encounter where the cornerstone of intimacy is missing. Be under no illusion, that sex with an escort is an illusion in of itself. It's a business transaction, and a means to an end for both of you - but you at least want the sex to feel good.

Also, go by how their profile is written. Any arrogant escorts, it's usually apparent in how they showcase themselves in their profile. Personally, the better sexual encounters I've had have been with slightly older escorts in their 40's or older. So, that's why if you're going for a certain type of escort, expand your horizons. Go with your gut.

Always go with independent escorts. Under no circumstances endorse, or be involved with anyone who might be involved in sex trafficking. And remember, in the UK, only 2 things regarding prostitution are illegal. Soliciting and running a brothel. You don't want to end up visiting an escort who's residing in a brothel, because if the police were to raid the premesis, that'll just be a traumatic and embarassing situation.

The best sexual encounters you will have is with an escort who enjoys what she does. Now, you mentioned mental health. Any sex worker is bound to have a chequered and emotionally turbulent past. I'd say 95% of them or more are going to be traumatised people. Now, trauma bonding for me is my bread and butter. It's been the pattern with every relationship I've ever been in, and most of my closest friendships. Now, it's clear you struggle with your mental health, but that can serve as a positive for conversation and bonding with an escort. I'm not saying trauma dump and be all "woe is me" with an escort. But the conversation and intimacy with an escort can be a very therapeutic experience.

I'd say about 30% of the escorts I've seen has been a good and highly pleasurable sexual encounter. The rest - well the sex wasn't great because there was a lack of connection. But the connection also comes before and after in the conversation. This is key.

As for fearing not being worthy or good enough to date. That mentality needs to be worked on. I have no intention to date for the forseeable years. But I'm also ducking out of seeing escorts for the forseeable too. It's expensive, and I know why I chased it - much like other addictions in my past; it triggers the reward centres in the brain. It provides the briefest of escapes; but it's not real.

PS - get tested regularly. And don't forget that it can take 3 months before some STI's are visible on a test. Be sensible and be careful out there. And above all else - treat those you meet with the utmost of respect. For the most part, these are traumatised souls who've been through a lot, and they run a big risk in doing the job they do.

Ed

 

[8398]

It's a cold thing, cold thing to be doing to begin with so I'd never expect even kindness. I would expect lots of mental health problems with sex workers, contempt for men. Think about why they're even able to do that to begin with instead of protecting themselves.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Escorts are there to make money. If they are putting themselves out there on X, Instagram, TikTok with links to their pay sites, then I am guessing they are trolling for customers. It's a business. So, one would sort of expect a certain personality profile that fits with this.

I agree with @Outdated. Sometimes you just have to buck up and take your chances with real women in the real world. Expect some rejection and move on to the next person, and every once in a while, something "clicks" with someone. It's not uncommon for women in their 20's to want the "bad boy", but once they realize there's nothing but disappointment, they then find men that are more settled and will treat them well in the long term.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

Escorts are there to make money. If they are putting themselves out there on X, Instagram, TikTok with links to their pay sites, then I am guessing they are trolling for customers. It's a business. So, one would sort of expect a certain personality profile that fits with this.

I agree with @Outdated. Sometimes you just have to buck up and take your chances with real women in the real world. Expect some rejection and move on to the next person, and every once in a while, something "clicks" with someone. It's not uncommon for women in their 20's to want the "bad boy", but once they realize there's nothing but disappointment, they then find men that are more settled and will treat them well in the long term.

well it will always be controversial, but me and many people are glad this exists, because it doesn't require any social skills or courtship, etc.

Reminds me of a moving statement i read from another guy, he said: "I saw an escort, sex worker, after a rough breakup and the woman was more attentive and made me feel more connected to her than my previous partner ever did. It was quite the revelation that someone I just met could make me more comfortable"

 

[Lemon Zing]

I sometimes think about saving up my money instead of wasting it, as I get universal credit and PIP every month. Then I think, well, my life is empty as it is, so what is there to splash out on, really? But as I covered in a recent topic, the price of physical media is too high now, that it is a struggle to maintain my hobby of purchasing overpriced horror films.

In fact, I had considered selling off my collection and just streaming media on Prime, but these cash in hand shops only accept Blu-rays with the UK rating. They no longer accept DVDs. So they don't even accept any import copies, as they are probably not allowed to stock them. So then the only way to get some money back is to list them on eBay.

Then I thought of the lengths I went to and the money I spent online for a long time to acquire these special editions, as well as the bragging rights that comes with having stored so many to tell people about, educate fans on, and whatnot. Do I really want to chuck all that away? No, certainly not. Plus, I know I could end up regretting it later on.

I think you are right about seeing escorts of the same race. I have nothing against foreigners. But I only wanted to see them a lot more regularly because I worry about the male menopause kicking in someday. I fear my sex drive will one day completely end due to age related changes, so I wanted to enjoy it while I can. Because I did enjoy it in the past, and it would be nice to find a regular partner.

Maybe I could do social meetings first to get to know them, as it could relieve the tension that comes with meeting sex workers who are strangers immediately. A lot of them do dinner bookings, or general social activities like bowling and shopping.

Right now, I am totally skint. I haven't had my PIP renewed, and the job centre had to update my details in order for me to sign into my universal credit journal. They said this has to be done regularly to inform them of any changes in my circumstances.

 

[Rodafina]

Been following several on X, normally just being friendly, agreeing with comments, and sometimes trying to cheer people up. And it became off putting to me recently when I went to see certain users who were initially decent, and it said I was blocked.

Are you paying them? I think they are there to work and make money, not friends.

But most of these sex workers just seem to have a shallow personality, minus a rather select few of them.

This may be because they are at work. It is very likely that they only show their real personalities to family and friends, not customers.

It sounds like you are frustrated with sex workers because you are expecting too much from them. It's an exchange of services for money, nothing more.

 

[Lemon Zing]

I've ended up with a really awful anxiety problem. From not wanting to board a bus any more to feeling discomfort around others, family included, it is holding me back.

This is why I find being a film extra hard. You have to wait about between takes, so that would make me anxious quickly.

 

[Kayla55]

I'm a freak, I always knew I never fit in. Women are not accepted outside sex role, having children is emotion tie that removed many right not due to lack maternity leave but choice to love my kids, with personal touch. My ex didn't really feel need to give me financial support for this decision. Making me just believe less in people.
To this day I'm utterly miserable because people don't want to accept your ideas, I was born into wrong body, perhaps reason asd females received less diagnosis, only men are engineers. I probably should've become gay a long time ago, my family horrified, but honestly to this day I have to mask to teachers, the system but the real me wants to tell society to bigger off. I'm happy when I have interesting project, placed out of my reach and being told my place.
I think suicide before pregnancy would've ended much of my suffering, not don't live my kids, or people think I'm a good Mom. It's just how dementia isn't for no reason, most of it I always thought was exactly this shauvenism....so in a way my alteimers dementia is related to difficulty being accepted as women

 

[Judge]

I get the impression they have a mental health problem.

Best not to confuse the role of sex workers with sex therapists. Though I suspect the latter is quite a bit more expensive and not intended as anything other than a form of therapy.

I've always been a bit surprised not to hear of any autistic males who chose to seek the services of a sex therapist. Seems they might be able to do a bit of good for any number of them. As opposed to sex workers, who for them it's just a job.

 

[Kayla55]

I think judge is respectfully noting social struggles, this is relevant because even with legalisation this type of work is not respectful for a woman to do.
This is why maybe figuring out ways to reduce anxiety may be better route, I had troubles and after years watch therapists on you tube and realise how difficult it is for me to understand NT people, small talk is still not something I really like.

 

[Lemon Zing]

The women who offer BDSM services are even worse, going by what they've been saying and showing off in their tweets.

Totally unapproachable. Cold as a solitary lizard on a rock. Shameless. Misandry driven insults. Egotistical. Expecting a tribute for such and such amount right off the bat. And so on. It's just pointless.

They even admit to being witches, sadists, and whatever other terms there are for this type of culture.

Yeah. I think I dodged a few bullets. I may like horror movies... but I am not gonna be that daft.

 

[Kayla55]

well it will always be controversial, but me and many people are glad this exists, because it doesn't require any social skills or courtship, etc.

Reminds me of a moving statement i read from another guy, he said: "I saw an escort, sex worker, after a rough breakup and the woman was more attentive and made me feel more connected to her than my previous partner ever did. It was quite the revelation that someone I just met could make me more comfortable"

I think secretary makes money, a living I should say. I'm not sure about this because I've heard men say I spent x amount on meal, no sex. So where's logic in that?
I think disgusting part is how many men do they sleep with, seriously a secretary earns more. At least if it was disputed in Germany that it's legal then she may not see more than one man a day and the payment must cover her living expenses. And then when she retires how does she get married with kids??? This is actually where men have to learn some respect, sex in old days was not your right, it was family union. So to allow people to have adultery there has to be a level of responsibility.
Should the town be forced to witness these girls commit suicde by hanging to death in a forest....would this clear up any issues on why it's not a respectable job?

 

[blitzkrieg]

I'm a freak, I always knew I never fit in. Women are not accepted outside sex role, having children is emotion tie that removed many right not due to lack maternity leave but choice to love my kids, with personal touch. My ex didn't really feel need to give me financial support for this decision. Making me just believe less in people.
To this day I'm utterly miserable because people don't want to accept your ideas, I was born into wrong body, perhaps reason asd females received less diagnosis, only men are engineers. I probably should've become gay a long time ago, my family horrified, but honestly to this day I have to mask to teachers, the system but the real me wants to tell society to bigger off. I'm happy when I have interesting project, placed out of my reach and being told my place.
I think suicide before pregnancy would've ended much of my suffering, not don't live my kids, or people think I'm a good Mom. It's just how dementia isn't for no reason, most of it I always thought was exactly this shauvenism....so in a way my alteimers dementia is related to difficulty being accepted as women

There is no scientific evidence at all that I know of, at present, that points toward there being a causative link between Alzheimer's disease and "being accepted as a woman".

Where is your source? You sound like you are making this up. It's "Alzheimer's" not "alteimers", also.

 

[Lemon Zing]

Here are some of my unlucky experiences.

I will be polite and only give them anonymity in place of their known pseudonyms.

#1

Blocked me prior to the pandemic, pretty much just for talking about music from Canada. Later found out she's a domme at my local dungeon. Hell of a pompous attitude.

#2

98% of her posts are her talking about how lovely her great big arse is. Let her know her ass is amazing, and you will meet the block party.

She says she likes to hang out in graveyards, which I find is somewhat disrespectful to the deceased. But I keep that to myself.

Yeah. Agree with somebody's 6,854,320 wank fodder posts about her rear and you get blocked. How stupid is that?

#3

I don't know if she is Spanish, to be honest, but she could be Romanian.

Took a big amount of money I sent as a deposit earlier this year, called it a 'generous gift' and blocked me. She never came to Edinburgh after all. Works as a domme in England.

#4

Asked for a deposit, did not buy into my honest take when I let her know that there was a glitch with my online banking, and then the daftie went nuts, as if I was purposefully wasting her time. Threatened to expose me on some site called National Ugly Mugs, which means if somebody looks up your mobile number, email address, user name, etc, they may see a report on you. Then not long after that, she registered on some crime forum full of trolls, trying to stir up trouble.

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

#5

Said that I, and I quote, "deserved to be born with autism". I kid you not. Not even sure what I said to merit that remark.

#6

This one was arguably the worst. Sent me an email with her address for some reason, saying we can "make a horror movie" in a sarcastic tone, after blocking me on WhatsApp. Recently claimed she was raped aged 18. Has barely any feedback on AW anyway. Went to a forum in 2022 with a name I did not recognise and was referred to as the 'C' word.

#7

This one said after the session, "You don't get tea in this house" in 2009, I think, then said genetalia was weird on her blog. Said I had the mind of a boy, and "Who asks for tea?" - when I meant the drinking kind. Also said, "You could tell he is a loner". Or something to that effect.

#8

Randomly blocked me a few days ago before I deactivated my X profile. Cut and pasted some of my emails on X when I had different accounts. This has nothing to do with me being blocked lately, though. Her recent posts indicate she hates men wasting her time, so must just be blocking randoms. But my last post before I got blocked was just a general reply. She even liked one of my comments last week, I think.

All the others I have dealt with? Not even worth moaning about. They all seem to know each other from attending these kink award ceremonies.

Awful attitude all around, unfortunately. And yes. It certainly would turn you gay.