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Accepting

B

boomer121494

Member
I was digganosed with as at a young age I have meltdowns very repetive and harmful behaviors. The social aspect kinda went away in high school so people and myself included thought I was miss diganosed but after graduated I lost all my supports my college defined all my accommodations and my work isn't helping either everything seems more intense lately all my symptoms are present. I had a violent meltdown and ended up in inpatient. I'm trying to get my friends to understand but they are all like you talk to us just fine and they don't get how the meltdown and as is related they just think its crazy. I don't fully understand as either for op they tried to get me in as group but I'm 20 so I'm too old so my therapist in the regular outpatient got the as group program and has been working on it with me and I feel so dumb learning all this. I'm very depressed and really starting to hate the body I was born in.15 years later and I still can't accept this. Will I ever?
 
Makes me so sad seeing you so distressed. I don't know if my words will be of some help but I guess I can try.

First of all, it is true that an early diagnosis with the proper therapy helps a lot (I know that this isn't exactly your case as you'd been diagnosed before). Still you aren't that older if you consider that many people on the spectrum were diagnosed much later in life and they've been able to cope with the corresponding effort.
I think the important thing is that you try and make an effort to do what they recommend you or what you read from books or other people's experiences.
Another important thing (as I'm seeing you so disheartened) is that you find people that really support you in this tough period in your life. It may be people from this forum, people you know... Doesn't mind as long as you feel the support and encouragement you need.

Mind that you are the only person that knows exactly what's undergoing, so it might be difficult for others to put on your shoes, even professionals. Besides there's always the eternal problem of NTs not making an effort to understand people on the spectrum (most of the times it's more a lack of information in the issue rather than not wanting to do so). So I can more or less understand your friends. Perhaps looking for support in people that has experienced all of this might be of more help now.

Accepting oneself is NEVER an easy process, for anyone (can't even imagine how it must be for an AS then). It's true that some people seem to have been born with the gift of self-confidence (I truly envy them), but I'm sure that even those people at some point of their lives have experienced this sort of problem.
Still it's a process that takes a lot time, I insist. And a difficult one because you have to face it on your own. But I'm really sure (even if you don't see it now) that you have many things to be proud of. Rely on those.

I really hope you find the way to feel better and manage all you are going through.
If you want to talk (in a more private way) or just get things off your chest, just start a conversation and I'll be willing to try to aid. I still don't know if I can help you somehow. But it feels so powerless...

I send you my best wishes :)
 
I think it sucks because we have an "invisible" disability that we cannot get the support we need.

So many people are falling through the cracks and it seems no one wants to help us or stop and bother to understand us. Speaking to some of these groups that speak for us like Autism Speaks it's like they don't get it either!
 
This may sound simplistic, but it's true: The only way you're going to accept your ASD is to focus more on the positives of being neurodiverse, and deliberately interrupt the tape that's playing in your head, telling you that your ASD is some sort of curse. You may need a counselor's help for that at first. It's well worth doing, whatever it takes. So much of the literature on ASDs focus on the negative and disability. Screw that. Start by reading this list of gifts that come with an ASD. It says "Asperger's", but it's true of high-functioning Autism as well:

The Asperger Advantage: The Eight Asperger Advantages

I'm not saying "Get over yourself." I'm saying, "Look at the whole picture of who you are as a person with an ASD."
 
Slithytoves said:
This may sound simplistic, but it's true: The only way you're going to accept your ASD is to focus more on the positives of being neurodiverse, and deliberately interrupt the tape that's playing in your head, telling you that your ASD is some sort of curse. You may need a counselor's help for that at first. It's well worth doing, whatever it takes. So much of the literature on ASDs focus on the negative and disability. Screw that. Start by reading this list of gifts that come with an ASD. It says "Asperger's", but it's true of high-functioning Autism as well:

The Asperger Advantage: The Eight Asperger Advantages

I'm not saying "Get over yourself." I'm saying, "Look at the whole picture of who you are as a person with an ASD."
Click to expand...
Aye, true dat. I just couldn't figure out how to word it nicely without sounding like that singing fish "don't worry, be happy". XD
 
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