Addicted to drama.

[Metalhead]

It seems as if my life is going way too well for me right now. I have absolutely no drama in my life currently. I have created enough emotional distance between myself and my family currently. I have severed toxic ties in my life long ago, including a literal stalker. I am being productive at the office and I am keeping my new house clean and tidy.

So why do I feel a need to throw a wrench in there somewhere? For attention? For the drama? For a reason to make myself feel bad so I have an excuse to buy some marijuana or alcohol? It all makes little sense to me. My psychological state is not used to a complete lack of drama, I can say that much is very true.

Why can't I just enjoy life when life is good? What the hell is holding me back on that?

Maybe this is a conversation to have with my therapist.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

No one needs drama. One can seek out excitement though.

What you may be describing is a "low dopamine" sensation. "Mind altering" drugs and alcohol may temporarily give you some relief,...but that whole pathway is NOT the way to go. Finding something "fun" to do,...travel, a concert, an amusement park, learning a new hobby,...whatever, to stimulate the mind will also raise dopamine, assuming whatever you are doing is enjoyable to you.

Drama,...that just stimulates anxiety and stress,...neither are healthy.

 

[OkRad]

Boring is great. It gives you time to do fun things and no regret screaming and crying. Enjoy being bored

 

[Metalhead]

Boring is great. It gives you time to do fun things and no regret screaming and crying. Enjoy being bored

Yeah, I really should be using this boredom as an excuse to play through the 2000 video games I purchased over the last two decades.

 

[Magna]

Was there a lot of drama in your childhood? Did you grow up in a chaotic household? It's common in either case where a person perpetuates the need for drama in their adult years with a propensity to create it where none exists.

 

[Major Tom]

I does definitely sound like something to speak about with a psychologist. I personally try to avoid drama like a plague. The problem is, it seems to follow me around.

 

[Thinx]

Yes there's a bit of a hiatus when we actually achieve our goals in moving from victims to survivors. As if it's an anti climax, when in reality it's such a huge achievement. It's brilliant that you have done all this, and you have had to be determined and to work hard.

I think covid 19 is contributing to the situation by making it a bit hard to enjoy life in some ways, but hopefully we'll be emerging from that in a while. If video games are your form of relaxation, go for it! Also taking up a sport could be fun?

 

[Aspychata]

You rode your mule in the same groove round and round that abnormal was YOUR normal. Now you jumped out of that groove into a normal groove minus all turbulence. It does take some time getting use to it. You are so programmed or emotional emeshed in bad patterns that you feel like a fish out of water. It's not normal to feel anger and frustration and anxiety everyday such as with the toxic family life. Your new norm in peaceful, loving and hell- even maybe a tab boring. Hey welcome to the new you.

 

[Metalhead]

Was there a lot of drama in your childhood? Did you grow up in a chaotic household? It's common in either case where a person perpetuates the need for drama in their adult years with a propensity to create it where none exists.

Yeah, I grew up with very high drama parental figures. I now see I inherited a lot of my “all or nothing” thinking from them, and I am working to move away from that.

 

[Fino]

You have to continually find new things that excite you, things to do, projects to work on, places to go to, hobbies to start.

 

[Progster]

I get bored easily and seek out novelty. Not drama, though, I avoid highly emotionally charged situations because they overwhelm me.

 

[GadAbout]

A nice pleasant stasis allows you to find the internal drama in your psyche and master that. It sounds like you could do that in therapy, Kagamine Len.

I sometimes check in with my therapist to say "things are going pretty well" and I almost feel guilty for not presenting a more interesting case. But that's silly. If I didn't have a therapist for support, things would not be going well. The whole house of cards could easily fold.

If you want a little more drama, put some money in the stock market. That oughta do it!

 

[Magna]

Yeah, I grew up with very high drama parental figures. I now see I inherited a lot of my “all or nothing” thinking from them, and I am working to move away from that.

"All or nothing thinking": If you mean the same thing as "black and white thinking", that's a common trait for autistics. While you may be able to develop an ability to do your best to see the "shades of grey" in things, you may also always have "black and white" thinking as part of the way you're wired. There are some things that I can see "shades of grey" in after having it pointed out to me that an issue isn't just "black or white", but there are other things that I just can't see grey areas.

 

[Metalhead]

"All or nothing thinking": If you mean the same thing as "black and white thinking", that's a common trait for autistics. While you may be able to develop an ability to do your best to see the "shades of grey" in things, you may also always have "black and white" thinking as part of the way you're wired. There are some things that I can see "shades of grey" in after having it pointed out to me that an issue isn't just "black or white", but there are other things that I just can't see grey areas.

Well, at least I managed to move away from the stage where I thought everybody who disagreed with me was Hitler.