Addicted to shopping

[Metalhead]

In a couple of weeks worth of moments of weakness, I maxed out one of my lines of credit, and most of that was spent on 4K movies and video games. It was a low line of credit, something I can easily pay off next month, but this is a troubling sign to me. All those movies and games I picked up for less than $10 a pop added up very rapidly.

I am addicted to looking over sales, getting good prices and getting a dopamine hit over a new shiny acquisition. My stepfather used to scream at me and smack me around over this stupidity when I was a young child, actually. My mother often mocked me by saying that money burned a hole in my pocket. And here I am, after showing considerable discipline with my spending for the last couple of years, bringing debt upon myself so easily. All it takes is a press of a button, and a new purchase has been made and will arrive at my office in a couple of days.

I could blame the social isolation due to COVID, which would be a valid reason, but not a valid excuse. I could blame never being taught proper money management skills when I was younger, but as an adult now I know that excuse is also BS. It seems I lack self discipline. It also seems I try to sabotage myself to stir up drama when there is none, even if I am not aware that is exactly what I am doing.

So, my $300 line of credit is maxed out, and will be paid off in a week, and I hope not to max it out quite this easily and thoughtlessly again.

 

[Tom]

Well at least it is a realatively low ammount of debt. Many have that same issue, or degrees of it and can run up debts to astounding levels.

I have experienced some of that (buying things related to a special interest) and what seemed to work for me was not to cut myself off completely but to try and stick to reasonable limits I established. For instance so much per month. Its still a battle of will power but a moderated one with some allowance for induging in it and also some definate criteria to go by and measure how you are doing.

 

[unperson]

Picture those purchases sitting in a box for years, or on a shelf gathering dust.

Seeing possessions as something that will add to your cleaning is a good deterrent.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Consumerism - Wikipedia

 

[Wolfsage]

Very careful about that. To a miserly degree. Always question any purchase I might make. To the point I overwhelmed myself with concerns and thoughts of purchases I hadn't even made.

 

[Metalhead]

Well at least it is a realatively low ammount of debt. Many have that same issue, or degrees of it and can run up debts to astounding levels.

I have experienced some of that (buying things related to a special interest) and what seemed to work for me was not to cut myself off completely but to try and stick to reasonable limits I established. For instance so much per month. Its still a battle of will power but a moderated one with some allowance for induging in it and also some definate criteria to go by and measure how you are doing.

Well, perhaps I should spend some time enjoying what I already own. I plan on having a film festival this weekend made up of movies I have purchased but have not watched yet. It would take a couple of months of these festivals to get through them all seeing as I work during the week. And it will take me a few years to get through all of the video games I own, as well.

I guess my consumerism came at an early age, since media was the only place I felt any sense of happiness. My family life was lame, so was my school life, so I turned to media, which never hurt me.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Reading this will cure your consumerism:

American Psycho - Wikipedia

Or you can read this book instead:

Glamorama - Wikipedia

 

[Thinx]

The Film Festival sounds a great idea, you could decide on awards for the Best film, Best actor, Best supporting actor, Best screenplay etc. And a special award for the loser. However breaks to go for a stroll should also be considered. We just had a hail storm here, but maybe it's nicer where you are!

 

[Metalhead]

The Film Festival sounds a great idea, you could decide on awards for the Best film, Best actor, Best supporting actor, Best screenplay etc. And a special award for the loser. However breaks to go for a stroll should also be considered. We just had a hail storm here, but maybe it's nicer where you are!

Yeah, my taste in movies is extremely wide and varied. Sometimes I like high art, sometimes I like good drama, sometimes I like sweeping epics, and other times I like pure sleazy trash.

 

[Sherlock77]

I have to be careful, over the years I've developed some techniques.

I am a collector (confession time), and collect vintage photos, the vast majority of them were acquired locally and paid for by cash, that is one of the best ways to keep yourself accountable... I have resisted the urge to shop online for collectables, because I know what could happen

When I go to a flea market or collectible show - pre-Covid of course - I always go with a set amount of money... I used to and still mostly do pay for things with cash, at home I fill a bowl with all the spare change generated by paying cash... When a collectible show comes up, I'll "cash in" most of the bowl which can be anywhere from $40 to $70, alright the $70 only happened once... At the collectible show that is my spending money, plus maybe $10 from my current money... My biggest rule? I can't spend more than that, I've learned to pass on items that are out of my budget... Even when there is a nearby bank machine

Story time: way back when, about 2001 or so, I was at a large outdoor automotive swap meet, and had a wad of money in my pocket, without even buying car parts or a car I managed to spend it all and I was only part way through... There was one of those portable bank machines and I grabbed another $100, and I spent all of that as well, and just knew I wasn't going back for more money! I remember the last item I purchased that day, still own it... A road atlas of Canada from 1970, sponsored by IHC trucks with advertising for the company, I think the vendor wanted $15 for it, all I had left was about $7.84 or something like that, he let me buy it with that last money, I did tell him my story... Then I walked out with no money left in my wallet... I swore I would never do anything like that again, and I haven't actually...

 

[Mulder]

Dear Len, learn from your own mistake and move on.

 

[Aspychata]

One way to save money is to stay home. Looks like you have great things to do but you needed a bit of a library to get started.

 

[Progster]

I collect music - CDs, records, downloads. Some rare items I want are very expensive. I also have a thrift drive person who always tries to get the best value for money (not necessarily the cheapest thing), and the maximum efficiency when it comes to spending. I was brought up in a family where money was tight and its legacy is that I very quilty about spending money on myself on on extras. These two opposing drives create a constant conflict - the drive to collect v the drive to stockpile money as a resource - with a result that I come to some compromise about how much I will spend on music. So my collection is in the hundreds rather than the thousands

I have my own system of managing money. I two different accounts - a bank account and Revolut account. I split my income and send half of it into my bank account, which I don't touch. It is for emergencies, for paying taxes and for saving up for more expesive things such as medical expenses, car or house maintenance or home improvements.

The other half goes to the Revolut account and it is for day to day expenses. Groceries, utilities, etc. What's left over may be spent on music. The Revolut app has features that allow you to monitor spending - you can set a budget limit for any particular item or a limit to your spending. It doesn't mean I won't or can't spend, but it does make me more aware of how much I'm spending and on what.

 

[SDRSpark]

You sound a lot like my mother (from this post and your previous posts). She had an addictive personality (however it's called) - she was always addicted to something, although it wasn't always the same thing (she would switch back and forth between booze and coffee for a while, was always a smoker). She definitely had a shopping addiction as well (towards the end, she was disabled and lived in the middle of nowhere, so her only real source of entertainment was eBay and things that could be bought online, like books).

Every couple of months or years she would get a new special interest and buy all the things related to it. At one point she became interested in comparative religion and bought probably a dozen Bibles - half of them as gifts for me. Then it was fidget spinners - she could tell you which bearings were the best type for fidget spinners and if you weren't careful you'd get a lecture on fidget spinner maintenance. She had dozens of those too. Then it was Scentsy wax melts - she had pounds of them!!! When she passed I gave a bunch to family members and still have enough to fill a small garbage bag. She would seek out the discontinued scents on eBay. When she was going through radiation therapy and her skin was sensitive to cold she developed a special interest in scarves and you guessed it - I have one of those rubbermaid totes jam packed full of scarves, some which are brand new. And gloves, and mittens, and socks. More than anyone needs for a lifetime. When she passed my aunt donated her book collection to the local library - some of them were worth a lot of money and they got their own display separate from the other books.

Fortunately bargain hunting was another of her special interests, so though she had Too Much Stuff, it's amazing how much some of it is worth considering how little she paid for it. I'm definitely not immune to the online shopping bug, myself.

You are far from being alone in this!!! I don't actually have any useful advice for stopping it...if you figure it out let me know!

 

[VictorR]

As with @Sherlock77 I've also when buying non-necessities in person, which often happened at markets and other events, limited myself to whatever amount of cash I had set aside, to ensure that in the event I went on a binge, that there was a limit to the amount of damage.

I've usually set aside a certain amount, usually ~10% of my income for "anything goes" and so I know if I'm spending on things, that there's now less money that might go towards travel, which I do look forward to.

I have to say, since COVID happened, >90% of my discretionary spending has disappeared since I'm not going to places and events and seeing things that I decide I must have - for me, buying things has often been more about serendipity then seeking them out.

@KagamineLen Something that I'd like to ask you is whether your current buying is driven by getting satisfaction from owning things, or if it's due to the excitement of getting things in the mail.

If it's the latter, perhaps joining a penpal or postcard exchange group might be something that can help wean you off the online purchase addiction.

 

[Metalhead]

As with @Sherlock77 I've also when buying non-necessities in person, which often happened at markets and other events, limited myself to whatever amount of cash I had set aside, to ensure that in the event I went on a binge, that there was a limit to the amount of damage.

I've usually set aside a certain amount, usually ~10% of my income for "anything goes" and so I know if I'm spending on things, that there's now less money that might go towards travel, which I do look forward to.

I have to say, since COVID happened, >90% of my discretionary spending has disappeared since I'm not going to places and events and seeing things that I decide I must have - for me, buying things has often been more about serendipity then seeking them out.

@KagamineLen Something that I'd like to ask you is whether your current buying is driven by getting satisfaction from owning things, or if it's due to the excitement of getting things in the mail.

If it's the latter, perhaps joining a penpal or postcard exchange group might be something that can help wean you off the online purchase addiction.

I guess having something to look forward to during the time of COVID isolation does have a lot to do with my recent online spending binges. I never really thought of it like that before, but you are correct.

 

[Booknerd515]

You sound a bit like my mom.
She likes to buy a lot, even if my family may not end up having enough money for it because I remember hearing my dad argue with her about spending so much money. I'm not sure the exact amount she spent but sometimes it would be over a hundred and fifty dollars at a grocery store when I was younger and it would take forever to convince her to get out of there even when she had a full cart.
I think she has an extreme obsession with shopping because she will get extremely moody if she isn't allowed to shop for over a week and not allowed to go to any stores.
Even when not shopping she has had me cut out various coupons from coupon books for her. Must've been tens of thousands I've cut out, she tends to organize them in separate bags and looks through them before she goes to stores to see if there's anything she can save on.
I'm not sure if there's anything that will help you. All I can say is that I hope you won't fall into too much debt.
I personally don't really have a problem buying too much, because the main thing I buy are books and I make sure I always have enough space for them and to read them after I've gotten them sometime. If I don't want to read a book, then it doesn't make sense for me to buy it.

 

[Metalhead]

You sound a bit like my mom.
She likes to buy a lot, even if my family may not end up having enough money for it because I remember hearing my dad argue with her about spending so much money. I'm not sure the exact amount she spent but sometimes it would be over a hundred and fifty dollars at a grocery store when I was younger and it would take forever to convince her to get out of there even when she had a full cart.
I think she has an extreme obsession with shopping because she will get extremely moody if she isn't allowed to shop for over a week and not allowed to go to any stores.
Even when not shopping she has had me cut out various coupons from coupon books for her. Must've been tens of thousands I've cut out, she tends to organize them in separate bags and looks through them before she goes to stores to see if there's anything she can save on.
I'm not sure if there's anything that will help you. All I can say is that I hope you won't fall into too much debt.
I personally don't really have a problem buying too much, because the main thing I buy are books and I make sure I always have enough space for them and to read them after I've gotten them sometime. If I don't want to read a book, then it doesn't make sense for me to buy it.

I want to watch each and every movie I own and play each and every video game I own as well. I don’t have enough time for all of that currently. It will take me a year to get through my movies, and a few years to get through my games. Maybe showing some discipline and enjoying everything I already own is in order. I had a full festival this weekend made up of films I bought but never watched before, and I had a blast.