• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Advice Request... Feeling Completely Lost

vindexa

vindexa

Well-Known Member
As a self-diagnosed adult with Aspergers/high functioning Autism in the south (where people are very closed-minded and not so accepting), I have struggled a lot in life and continue to do so. When my employment status became non-existent this past fall, I decided to look for jobs elsewhere. I absolutely can't stand my hometown, not because it is boring, it is actually a decent sized city with plenty to do. It's the people, I always felt so awkward and out of place there. Anyway, I targeted my job search around the area where I am currently living and got offered a job, which I started mid-January. It is a very fast-paced, stress inducing customer service position... much more so than I originally thought it would be. After just one month of training that wasn't quite what I needed to learn everything, I had to completely fill in for someone while they were out on maternity leave.

This past Friday and Tuesday, I had to fill in for someone once again. By this point, I have trained with/worked with 5 other customer service reps and have been taught various ways of doing things. Because of this, I often get confused and when I do something that one person taught me, I get questioned about it by someone else. I have barely had experience with my own accounts, and honestly, I think that I would have done much better if I had been given my own to learn and work with. Consistency is very helpful for me. When people train me, they go way too fast and I try my best to keep up, but I just can't. It also does not help that everyone is really busy and stressed with the added work load from another plant location shutting down.

Whether it is intentional or not, there have been several times when I have asked for help and been replied to in a condescending and hateful manner. The worst part is, a few months ago I spoke with both the HR manager and my manager about some concerns with one co-worker who was being very harsh with me. I told them about my learning disabilities and Aspergers, which I really don't like to do because I am afraid most people see this as an excuse, which was not my intent. Apparently I was not where I was supposed to be at that point according to my manager, and I was just trying to explain that some things are a bit more difficult for me, but that I am trying my best to learn. I wish I knew what I was being compared to because most of the other people in the customer service department have 6+ years of customer service experience, most with that company. I had only done a couple of few month long temporary assignments that were not nearly as involved as this one, so I don't feel like that is being fair.

Now it has been about 4 and a half months since I started and I still worry about things not working out. I feel overwhelmed frequently and think it is just too much information to take in all at once. Doing the best that I can may not be good enough for this position, unfortunately. I really don't understand why just about every job out there these days is so demanding, high-paced, and makes the ability to multi-task well a mandatory requirement. How are people on the autism spectrum supposed to keep up? Most everything that actually sounds low-stress and enjoyable is too low paying and I just signed a 1 year lease on a nice apartment that costs me $735 a month on rent, so I have to make a certain amount of money. It might not be a bad idea to start looking and applying for other jobs, but I am a bit afraid that this same thing is going to keep happening. My last job became too overwhelming as well. Does anyone have any suggestions, advice, or recommended resources? Anything at this point is welcome because I have no idea what I should do.
 
vindexa said:
As a self-diagnosed adult with Aspergers/high functioning Autism in the south (where people are very closed-minded and not so accepting), I have struggled a lot in life and continue to do so. When my employment status became non-existent this past fall, I decided to look for jobs elsewhere. I absolutely can't stand my hometown, not because it is boring, it is actually a decent sized city with plenty to do. It's the people, I always felt so awkward and out of place there. Anyway, I targeted my job search around the area where I am currently living and got offered a job, which I started mid-January. It is a very fast-paced, stress inducing customer service position... much more so than I originally thought it would be. After just one month of training that wasn't quite what I needed to learn everything, I had to completely fill in for someone while they were out on maternity leave.

This past Friday and Tuesday, I had to fill in for someone once again. By this point, I have trained with/worked with 5 other customer service reps and have been taught various ways of doing things. Because of this, I often get confused and when I do something that one person taught me, I get questioned about it by someone else. I have barely had experience with my own accounts, and honestly, I think that I would have done much better if I had been given my own to learn and work with. Consistency is very helpful for me. When people train me, they go way too fast and I try my best to keep up, but I just can't. It also does not help that everyone is really busy and stressed with the added work load from another plant location shutting down.

Whether it is intentional or not, there have been several times when I have asked for help and been replied to in a condescending and hateful manner. The worst part is, a few months ago I spoke with both the HR manager and my manager about some concerns with one co-worker who was being very harsh with me. I told them about my learning disabilities and Aspergers, which I really don't like to do because I am afraid most people see this as an excuse, which was not my intent. Apparently I was not where I was supposed to be at that point according to my manager, and I was just trying to explain that some things are a bit more difficult for me, but that I am trying my best to learn. I wish I knew what I was being compared to because most of the other people in the customer service department have 6+ years of customer service experience, most with that company. I had only done a couple of few month long temporary assignments that were not nearly as involved as this one, so I don't feel like that is being fair.

Now it has been about 4 and a half months since I started and I still worry about things not working out. I feel overwhelmed frequently and think it is just too much information to take in all at once. Doing the best that I can may not be good enough for this position, unfortunately. I really don't understand why just about every job out there these days is so demanding, high-paced, and makes the ability to multi-task well a mandatory requirement. How are people on the autism spectrum supposed to keep up? Most everything that actually sounds low-stress and enjoyable is too low paying and I just signed a 1 year lease on a nice apartment that costs me $735 a month on rent, so I have to make a certain amount of money. It might not be a bad idea to start looking and applying for other jobs, but I am a bit afraid that this same thing is going to keep happening. My last job became too overwhelming as well. Does anyone have any suggestions, advice, or recommended resources? Anything at this point is welcome because I have no idea what I should do.
Click to expand...

I need to tackle the same problem. I can't easily multitasking or think on my feet and not sure of the cure. From what I understand it has to do with a problem in the brain executive functioning. Life with Aspergers: How a Lack of Executive Functioning May Appear in Young Adults
 
Hi Vindexa, I know how you feel. I've recently been given the option of leaving my job or taking a demotion. Given the lack of job opportunities, I've stayed at the company, but it is scary and difficult to know you're not meeting the standard, but being unable to improve despite the effort. This adds to the stress, making the job even worse!

My biggest recommendation is to keep your options open. It doesn't hurt to look for other work, and if you find something more suitable that's great. Otherwise, look but stay where you are. In your looking, you may find another job which you can transfer your skills across to, but lacks the pressure you experience now. Be creative in your searches, and if there's someone you trust that knows the industry, have a chat to them about the things you struggle with as they may have some suggestions of how to overcome them, or other potential job descriptions to look for.

But the biggest suggestion I can make is to not panic. It is really easy to focus so hard on what you see as your shortcomings that you then unintentionally sabotage yourself. When you go to work, work hard. And when you leave the office, leave all the stress at the office. The last thing you need is to become so focused on it that you depress yourself and become less motivated.

One other thing...
"Apparently I was not where I was supposed to be at that point according to my manager"
Is it the sort of workplace where you could go back to your manager and find out if this is improving? I know some workplaces want their employees to succeed, and they value when an employee talks to the manager about how to improve themself. But that is completely up to you to gauge as to if it's appropraite for your office because I also know that some work environments are really catty and aweful. If you admit any weakness, they exploit it. It may have been that your manager likes the employee you had issues with, so when you complained about that employee, the manager defended them by rebuffing you. Just some food for thought. If your performance was really a problem, the manager should be speaking to you about it.
 
One thing that might help is to get an actual diagnosis. I know, the prospect may be scary, but doing so can help get the law on your side. Getting a diagnosis means you'll be covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act. You will still have the option of whether or not to disclose to your employer, but it may make thing easier, as you'll then have documented, medical backing that you need some reasonable accommodations, and refusing to provide them becomes a legal issue. In other words, it gives you ground to stand on, which sounds like something you could use.
 
Ereth - Yes, I am sure this site is very helpful. I joined about two years ago and I guess between changing jobs and everything else I had going on, sort of forgot about it until more recently. I want to become more active as I think it can be a very beneficial tool for me.

waterrain - Everything on that list are things I have had trouble with my entire life. I do not do well under too much stress or pressure, my brain basically shuts down and I just can't do it anymore. Hopefully we will both find ways to cope and overcome these issues. :)

Christy - You are lucky that you got that option at your job. I was actually fired today, and asked about the possibility of moving into another position and was basically told that it is out of the question. I figured it was at least a try. The sad part is, I was going to speak with my manager today to try to work something out, but I never got the chance. Now I am terrified because I don't know many people in the area and since I was fired, I feel like it is going to be extremely difficult for me to find something.

I had not heard feedback from my manager in a while, so I thought things were going ok enough. The times I had spoken with her in the past, I felt like she was being understanding and willing to work with me, but I guess things are just so hectic and fast-paced that they can not afford (financially and time-wise) to help me out so that I can get to where I needed to be.

dragonwolf - Actually I have thought about getting tested for autism spectrum before, but was not sure if it would benefit me at all this late in life or not. I completely see your point in doing so though, it is much easier and more likely for it to be shrugged off without having the official documentation of it. I have been tested for learning disorders in the past, and was diagnosed with Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD), but everything related to that is about young children which makes me wonder. In a way, I am a bit scared if I go through more testing and then still have an inconclusive or inaccurate diagnosis. I have contacted the Austism Society in my state briefly stating my situation and concerns and mentioned that I would love to meet with someone to see what next steps should be, so hopefully that will point me in the right direction.

Thank you everyone! :D
 
vindexa said:
I was actually fired today, and asked about the possibility of moving into another position and was basically told that it is out of the question. I figured it was at least a try. The sad part is, I was going to speak with my manager today to try to work something out, but I never got the chance. Now I am terrified because I don't know many people in the area and since I was fired, I feel like it is going to be extremely difficult for me to find something.
Click to expand...

Very sorry to hear that vindexa. Hopefully with one door closing on you another will open in the near future. At least now you can use your present knowledge perhaps in finding something that better accommodates your autism. I spent several decades counter-productively fighting my own traits and behaviors, as I simply didn't know any better. I was lucky enough to be able to finance my own business as an investor so I don't have to deal with the complexities of so many social interactions.
 
Sorry to hear that Vindexa, Getting a diagnosis could offer you protection in the future. From what I understand NVLD is a form of Aspergers, being used for women.
 
Just don't beat yourself up about it. Sadly, others have that job covered. Try different things. I am a skilled tradesman. I am very expert in a very narrow field of knowledge and skills. The sort of thing aspies tend to be strong in. Oh, and while there may be others doing the same or similar things in the building, I work alone. With things instead of people. At my own pace. Your being overwhelmed and feeling like you don't measure up sounds like me when I had a multitasking job. Find something where your aspie laser focus is an asset. It might take a while, so start searching now. Or you may be happier in a setting with nicer more caring people. If you had some help and time, I'm sure you could pick it up.

I myself am really only able to do one thing, which I lost all desire to do 10 years ago. I would love to have more options in life and be able to do different sorts of things, but it's just not in the cards. I try to make the best of a career that I no longer have any interest in or aspirations for. At least when I do work I make decent money.

I realized some time ago that even more than money, one of the most important things to me was to be useful and needed somewhere. Ruefully, I have to admit, my field still needs me.
 
vindexa said:
As a self-diagnosed adult with Aspergers/high functioning Autism in the south (where people are very closed-minded and not so accepting), I have struggled a lot in life and continue to do so. When my employment status became non-existent this past fall, I decided to look for jobs elsewhere. I absolutely can't stand my hometown, not because it is boring, it is actually a decent sized city with plenty to do. It's the people, I always felt so awkward and out of place there. Anyway, I targeted my job search around the area where I am currently living and got offered a job, which I started mid-January. It is a very fast-paced, stress inducing customer service position... much more so than I originally thought it would be. After just one month of training that wasn't quite what I needed to learn everything, I had to completely fill in for someone while they were out on maternity leave.

This past Friday and Tuesday, I had to fill in for someone once again. By this point, I have trained with/worked with 5 other customer service reps and have been taught various ways of doing things. Because of this, I often get confused and when I do something that one person taught me, I get questioned about it by someone else. I have barely had experience with my own accounts, and honestly, I think that I would have done much better if I had been given my own to learn and work with. Consistency is very helpful for me. When people train me, they go way too fast and I try my best to keep up, but I just can't. It also does not help that everyone is really busy and stressed with the added work load from another plant location shutting down.

Whether it is intentional or not, there have been several times when I have asked for help and been replied to in a condescending and hateful manner. The worst part is, a few months ago I spoke with both the HR manager and my manager about some concerns with one co-worker who was being very harsh with me. I told them about my learning disabilities and Aspergers, which I really don't like to do because I am afraid most people see this as an excuse, which was not my intent. Apparently I was not where I was supposed to be at that point according to my manager, and I was just trying to explain that some things are a bit more difficult for me, but that I am trying my best to learn. I wish I knew what I was being compared to because most of the other people in the customer service department have 6+ years of customer service experience, most with that company. I had only done a couple of few month long temporary assignments that were not nearly as involved as this one, so I don't feel like that is being fair.

Now it has been about 4 and a half months since I started and I still worry about things not working out. I feel overwhelmed frequently and think it is just too much information to take in all at once. Doing the best that I can may not be good enough for this position, unfortunately. I really don't understand why just about every job out there these days is so demanding, high-paced, and makes the ability to multi-task well a mandatory requirement. How are people on the autism spectrum supposed to keep up? Most everything that actually sounds low-stress and enjoyable is too low paying and I just signed a 1 year lease on a nice apartment that costs me $735 a month on rent, so I have to make a certain amount of money. It might not be a bad idea to start looking and applying for other jobs, but I am a bit afraid that this same thing is going to keep happening. My last job became too overwhelming as well. Does anyone have any suggestions, advice, or recommended resources? Anything at this point is welcome because I have no idea what I should do.
Click to expand...
You've described most of the job experiences I've had, so I completely understand your perspective. Have you considered Vocational Rehabilitation? Check out a Department of Human Services office in your area. They may be able to help you find work that is more compatible with your mental abilities.
 
You could be telling my life story right now! I went undiagnosed most of my life, and even now, til reading this I did not know that that could have been attributed to my autism. I never understood why I was not able to do jobs it seemed like most normal people could, because I knew I was smart and thought I should be able to do anything anyone else could do.

The only times I have been able to handle a job that was fast-paced, working with the public, irate people, having to multi-task, high-stress, was to be on strong medication. So strong that I actually came down with seratonin syndrome due to being over-medicated, which can be life-threatening, caused temporary brain receptor damage that had me practically bedridden for a year, and only worked so well for so long.

I ended up having several nervous breakdowns working a job like that. The last one I ended up at a psych ward, suicidal. Had to quit that job then, also failed out of school and lost my financial aid too. Had always wanted to quit that job, but a the things I was afraid of losing if I did, I ended up losing anyway.

My whole life, there have been a few types of jobs I could do well without a problem. Quiet jobs, not dealing with the public, where you can do one thing at a time. Problem is, those jobs are kinda few and far between. It seemed most good jobs like that required schooling, like computer programming, architecture, etc. so I didn't always have a choice about what jobs I could take, cause the majority of decent jobs out there are like what you described

During the year I was in bed with nothing but a laptop and time on my hands, I taught myself to do transcription and some graphics work. Now I work from home doing transcription and some freelance computer work. I still have a long way to go before I'll make any real money I could live on (I'm lucky to be able to live with my parents for now), but all my effort is going into training myself for work I can do being my own boss. All self-taught, as I've flunked out of school 3 times. There r so many free classes, resources, etc available online you can learn to do almost ANYTHING for free.

I've accepted that working a regular job is not an option for me. I could only fight it for so long til it caught up with me.

My advice would be, if your situation is affecting you to the level that you can't see yourself lasting much longer, don't wait until it all falls down on you. Start making preparations now to leave, if you are fortunate enough to have the option to move in with a parent, at least be PREPARED to move in CASE you need to, or if possible, start learning online how to do some things you could do to make money on your own terms.

If you're not as bad off as I was, maybe you could benefit from medication for anxiety. I took Adderall for ADHD, and it was the only way I could handle the multi-tasking.

I wish you the best and hope you are able to find the best solution for yourself :)
 
Judge - That may be part of my problem, I am trying to take on work roles that I simply can not perform due to my autism and everything that goes along with it. That is great that you have the opportunity to work for yourself, I would love to have a side business doing something artsy/crafty. Maybe one day. :)

Warwick C - That is very interesting about NLD. In my own research, I have seen suggested links to that and aspergers/high functioning autism. One thing I find very unusual though is that no information can be found about adults and NLD, it is all about small children, yet I got this diagnosis as a 16 year old. Since my last post, I have contacted a program through a state university who provides autism assessments/diagnosis and offers many resources for those on the spectrum. I have sent in all of the requested paperwork and spoke with them yesterday. I should be able to get an official evaluation in October.

nowwhat - Multitasking and the ability to quickly switch gears mentally from one thing to another has definitely always been a challenge. A few years ago, I worked at what was overall the most enjoyable job I have had. It was similar to what you described, mainly working alone and working with things instead of people, specific and more process related and repetitive in nature than most jobs. I built axles for a supplier plant for BMW and liked the job itself, but some other factors caused me to decide it was time to move on.

AmyB8484 - I can relate to a lot of what you said in your post, though perhaps maybe not quite to that extent. Anxiety and anti-depressants have helped me out a lot in life with getting through college (honestly I am a bit surprised I actually forced myself to keep at it and graduate... I couldn't help but tear up a bit on graduation day knowing that all of my struggles have finally paid off) and with certain positions that were honestly just way more than I could comfortably handle. Regular office jobs or higher paying positions that are very demanding are just not for me, and I am finally coming to terms with that.

As for an update, I did end up finding a job about 2 weeks after getting fired from the customer service position. I put in probably close to 25 applications and had a few interviews, one directly with a manufacturing company and two with staffing companies. What I found is a temp to hire position through a staffing agency at a plant that machines and assembles brake calipers for various car brands like Ford, GM, VW, BMW, etc. I am in machining and so far it is going great. The repetition and overall requirements of the job seem to fit my abilities very well. My parents would prefer that I have some other type of job as they have voiced their opinions several times of manufacturing and the types of people who work in that type of postion, but this is my life and this is what works for me so they will have to learn to understand and accept that fact. A month in, my supervisor is already expressing how well she thinks I am doing and that she really wants to get me in to a permanent (direct through the compnay) position soon. It is so nice to feel like my effort and hard work is being noticed and appreciated, especially after everything that has happened this year.
 
this story is me too. I lose jobs because I get way too frustrated with people. I get way too stressed. I am trained way too fast. I get frustrated over it and lose it. They call me aggressive. I am too aggressive. This means it is information overload when getting trained. I wish they would teach me something let me do that for a bit, then teach me more and let me do that a bit. I cannot be taught my whole job immediately. I now train people at my job and train the way I like to be trained
 
I have had 4 W-2's each year for 18 years. I finally have a job for the last 3 years. I had to take a job that I can do with much less pay
 
Many people asked me why I did not take certain jobs I was offered. I did not take them because I knew I could not keep them
 
vindexa said:
Judge - That may be part of my problem, I am trying to take on work roles that I simply can not perform due to my autism and everything that goes along with it. That is great that you have the opportunity to work for yourself, I would love to have a side business doing something artsy/crafty. Maybe one day. :)

As for an update, I did end up finding a job about 2 weeks after getting fired from the customer service position. I put in probably close to 25 applications and had a few interviews, one directly with a manufacturing company and two with staffing companies. What I found is a temp to hire position through a staffing agency at a plant that machines and assembles brake calipers for various car brands like Ford, GM, VW, BMW, etc. I am in machining and so far it is going great. The repetition and overall requirements of the job seem to fit my abilities very well. My parents would prefer that I have some other type of job as they have voiced their opinions several times of manufacturing and the types of people who work in that type of postion, but this is my life and this is what works for me so they will have to learn to understand and accept that fact. A month in, my supervisor is already expressing how well she thinks I am doing and that she really wants to get me in to a permanent (direct through the compnay) position soon. It is so nice to feel like my effort and hard work is being noticed and appreciated, especially after everything that has happened this year.
Click to expand...

That is nice that you found so quickly another job that fits better with your autism. The important thing is that you like it and feel comfortable in your new role. That's a nice dream you have about doing something with arts. I had that dream since a while about photography :)
 
vindexa said:
As a self-diagnosed adult with Aspergers/high functioning Autism in the south (where people are very closed-minded and not so accepting), I have struggled a lot in life and continue to do so. When my employment status became non-existent this past fall, I decided to look for jobs elsewhere. I absolutely can't stand my hometown, not because it is boring, it is actually a decent sized city with plenty to do. It's the people, I always felt so awkward and out of place there. Anyway, I targeted my job search around the area where I am currently living and got offered a job, which I started mid-January. It is a very fast-paced, stress inducing customer service position... much more so than I originally thought it would be. After just one month of training that wasn't quite what I needed to learn everything, I had to completely fill in for someone while they were out on maternity leave.

This past Friday and Tuesday, I had to fill in for someone once again. By this point, I have trained with/worked with 5 other customer service reps and have been taught various ways of doing things. Because of this, I often get confused and when I do something that one person taught me, I get questioned about it by someone else. I have barely had experience with my own accounts, and honestly, I think that I would have done much better if I had been given my own to learn and work with. Consistency is very helpful for me. When people train me, they go way too fast and I try my best to keep up, but I just can't. It also does not help that everyone is really busy and stressed with the added work load from another plant location shutting down.

Whether it is intentional or not, there have been several times when I have asked for help and been replied to in a condescending and hateful manner. The worst part is, a few months ago I spoke with both the HR manager and my manager about some concerns with one co-worker who was being very harsh with me. I told them about my learning disabilities and Aspergers, which I really don't like to do because I am afraid most people see this as an excuse, which was not my intent. Apparently I was not where I was supposed to be at that point according to my manager, and I was just trying to explain that some things are a bit more difficult for me, but that I am trying my best to learn. I wish I knew what I was being compared to because most of the other people in the customer service department have 6+ years of customer service experience, most with that company. I had only done a couple of few month long temporary assignments that were not nearly as involved as this one, so I don't feel like that is being fair.

Now it has been about 4 and a half months since I started and I still worry about things not working out. I feel overwhelmed frequently and think it is just too much information to take in all at once. Doing the best that I can may not be good enough for this position, unfortunately. I really don't understand why just about every job out there these days is so demanding, high-paced, and makes the ability to multi-task well a mandatory requirement. How are people on the autism spectrum supposed to keep up? Most everything that actually sounds low-stress and enjoyable is too low paying and I just signed a 1 year lease on a nice apartment that costs me $735 a month on rent, so I have to make a certain amount of money. It might not be a bad idea to start looking and applying for other jobs, but I am a bit afraid that this same thing is going to keep happening. My last job became too overwhelming as well. Does anyone have any suggestions, advice, or recommended resources? Anything at this point is welcome because I have no idea what I should do.
Click to expand...
I personally couldn't do that job. I'd feel like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole. You're a trooper! Don't feel bad. Look around to see all your options. Then decide. You know we're not the only ones looking for the perfect job. This is an old joke... " why do adults always ask children what they want to be when they grow up?... They're looking for ideas!"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom