Advice that actually worked

[Outdated]

If you had to pick out one single piece of advice worth more than any other thing you’ve ever been told in your life, which one would it be?

For me it was from my grandfather, an amazingly clever man and always very calm and quiet to be around. None of us had heard of things like autism back then, I was just the weird kid that couldn’t fit in with others. I was only about 7 years old and he said:

“Don’t go dreaming in the realms of What If. You can get lost in there. You play with the cards you’ve been dealt.”

I took that to mean that I should stop trying to be like everyone else because it wasn’t going to work. In effect, he told me I should be me and make use of what I’ve got.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

"The only sure way to never get what you want is not to try"

 

[Aspychata]

My own advice to myself. Love yourself. Don't bend over for anybody.

 

[Outdated]

Side note: my grandfather was called Fred and so were two of his brothers.

Alfred, Wilfred, Frederick and Lionel. Lionel always got called Jack.

Fred, Fred, Fred and Jack.

 

[Richelle-H]

In all honesty, I do not remember anyone ever giving me a useful piece of advice. The one piece of advice (actually more of a suggestion) that I received by a work colleague, was ignored by me for its use seemed far too limited to be of use to anyone. I sometimes have trouble controlling my ego. :LOL:

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

My dad: "It's better to have no friends, than to have the wrong kinds of friends. Sometimes life is better when you walk alone."

 

[VictorR]

Pick your battles.

There's a lot of injustices in the world and a lot of things we can do to make the world a better place, but we can't do everything, and anyone who tries is going to get burned out sooner or later, in which case they won't be in shape to fight any battles.

 

[Suzanne]

I have a new friend and she went through what I have suffered from all my life: agoraphobia and her dad calls us: deliciously different - we can't be all the same!

 

[Raggamuffin]

"Are you going to eat all that?"

Free food is best food.

Ed

 

[Neonatal RRT]

1. "Be responsible for something or someone." Have some purpose in life.
2. The opposite,..."Don't be dependent upon something or someone." You often cannot depend upon others, so be prepared to do it yourself.

 

[Storm Hess]

Forever forward. There's nothing worth looking at behind you that you don't already know.

 

[Ken]

If you had to pick out one single piece of advice worth more than any other thing you’ve ever been told in your life, which one would it be?

For me it was from my grandfather, an amazingly clever man and always very calm and quiet to be around. None of us had heard of things like autism back then, I was just the weird kid that couldn’t fit in with others. I was only about 7 years old and he said:

“Don’t go dreaming in the realms of What If. You can get lost in there. You play with the cards you’ve been dealt.”

I took that to mean that I should stop trying to be like everyone else because it wasn’t going to work. In effect, he told me I should be me and make use of what I’ve got.

I think it would be very hard to find any advice more important than that advice given by your grandfather.

The closest advice to that, I got from Fred Rogers in his Mr. Rogers children's show. Apparently, Fred Rogers purpose in life was all about that very message; that everyone is unique and is supposed to be unique, thus must live their unique life as you are. That no one is exactly like you, so no one can be better than you. Your best will always be when you focus and strive to be you.

 

[Aeolienne]

"Are you going to eat all that?"

Is that really advice?

 

[Duncan74]

"People can be dicks".

This followed an earlier bit of good advice " All people are inherently good"

So in context - The one immediately above came from getting into a mindset that despite initial feelings, the world wasn't out to specifically target me me with planned and malicious acts. 99.9% of the time other people were just not thinking about how their actions/words would impact me, and all their decisions, statements were them beleiving they were either doing the right thing, or just not considering others (or specifically me at all).

So that was a really really useful bit of advice for a long time, to stop and not react back to each bit of ****wittery that was imposed upon my life, but to try to see the angle that the person was taking - find the good intent that led to that, even if there was an effect that was negative, and I could then respond with a 'that was great, but you perhaps didn't realise that.....' kind of approach.

The really really useful one that I got a few years later, after getting very frustrated that I kept stumbling with a small number of people seemingly every time was that there are some who are dicks. They actually do make 100% self motivated decisions consistently either regardless of others or with the full knowledge that they get what they want and to hell with everyone else. But, when I finally get to identifying these poeople I find that most others are already aware and they say, 'oh yes, that's just them'. So I've had a tendency of assuming in all situations it was always me that was at fault. Now this advice is getting me to be really focussed in checking all the data points before being overly self critical.*


*note that this doesn't preclude that sometimes, it is me that is the 'dick'. Thats life too. Just own up to yourself and others that it's going to be the case. My defence is that I'm perhaps a little slower than others to be aware of that, and struggle a bit more to own up to it.