Advise on an autistic teenager going through a hard time

[Rebekah Gross]

Hi! I am in high school, and am currently in a program that pairs "general education" students with "special education students" The person that I am paired with has autism. Lately, he has been having a really tough time focusing in class (which is not because of any thing going on at home or something like that).

He is usually very quiet and laid back, but lately he has been screaming at me because he wants to play a game on my phone. My teacher said that I should not let him play a game on my phone, and also has suggested that I leave the room. My buddy did not like this, and grabbed onto my hands as I was sitting up. I'm afraid that he will soon get physical with me.

Does anyone have any suggestions/tips that you could give me? Thank you so much!

 

[tree]

How did he get the idea that he'd be allowed to play a game on your phone?

I assume he wants to play with your phone during class.

 

[Rebekah Gross]

I've never let him play on my phone during class, but occasionally during lunch I let him. He's never ever had a problem giving my phone back to me except once a few weeks ago, which is when he started asking me during class.

 

[tree]

I wonder what changed then...
A new topic in class?
A new level in the game?
Something that's different, so the game is what he wants to do,
instead of pay attention in class....

 

[Rebekah Gross]

I was talking to my teacher the other day and she called his parent to see what was going on. She said nothing had changed. Also, she said that it had been happening a little bit in gym class (which has the same concept of a student paired with another student) but not in regular class. she seemed to think that it could just be him becoming more comfortable as well as hormones (he is a freshman, 14/15 years old).

 

[tree]

He doesn't have a crush on you, I hope...

 

[Rebekah Gross]

I don't think it's that! I'm pretty sure the only reason that he got so upset when I tried to separate from him was because he knew that he was in trouble and maybe because it is a change in routine.

 

[tree]

So maybe he realized his behavior was out of line (inappropriate).

Does he touch other people?

What type of support is it that you actually provide to him during class?

 

[Rebekah Gross]

He never has touched other people (that I've heard of/seen). The class is called Art ACEs (Accepting, Caring, Empathetic is what I think it stands for?) and the "general education" students are paired up with "special education" students. Basically, I help my buddy with art, but the real intention is to bridge the gap between special and general education. It's similar to the Best Buddies program, if you've ever heard about it.

 

[tree]

No, I wasn't familiar with the Best Buddies program,
so I looked it up.
Mission - Best Buddies International

 

[Rebekah Gross]

It's really cool! Along with Art ACEs, I am also in Best Buddies with the same person.

 

[Ezra]

It's not easy to know how to deal with erratic autistic behavior, without training or experience. You probably need advice from either his parents or from someone with a lot of experience dealing with autistic kids.

 

[Iamnotarabot]

Well, i dont know how your mate is "located" in the autism spectrum...


But i can share my own experience about video games...

Is he stuck in the game he is playing? I know that for me , being blocked in a game /wanted to finish it can be a real real real real pain in the ass, it can becomes an obsession and I only think about that.

It's a mobile game so i guess this is the kind of game that harder the more you play and at some moment you are stuck and they want you to pay something.

So...if it is realy about this game, try to help him finish it , only if finising hit is possible, and eventually try to show him a playthrought on youtube or smthg like that.

 

[Tom]

I would advise whoever runs the program of the problems and that you will no longer be paired with that boy. He needs a professional one-on-one assistant or reassignment to another program.

One-on-ones are trained and paid adults and it angers me your school district is so cheap as to try and put students in harms way for free. Peers can have a role with autistic students, but under professionally supervised circumstances.

 

[Mary Anne]

Hi! I am in high school, and am currently in a program that pairs "general education" students with "special education students" The person that I am paired with has autism. Lately, he has been having a really tough time focusing in class (which is not because of any thing going on at home or something like that).

He is usually very quiet and laid back, but lately he has been screaming at me because he wants to play a game on my phone. My teacher said that I should not let him play a game on my phone, and also has suggested that I leave the room. My buddy did not like this, and grabbed onto my hands as I was sitting up. I'm afraid that he will soon get physical with me.

Does anyone have any suggestions/tips that you could give me? Thank you so much!

Please be careful - he could get physical. I once got badly bitten while helping a severely autistic 12 year old in a wheel chair. I was leading a nature tour, and she smiled at me. I gave her eye contact, and she grabbed my hand and jammed my fingers into her mouth biting down hard! Since then, I am especially aware of my physical boundaries around severely challenged individuals. I hope others here can give you some ideas, but you just might have to get out of this unhealthy pairing during school. Your safety and peace of mind come first. Afterall, YOU are going to school to learn too.