Christine Jarvis
Active Member
How do I delete my previous threads or posts?
Last edited:
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Alone
- Thread starter Christine Jarvis
- Start date
Wow. Sorry about the living situation. Any more than 3 people in a room and I have to leave. Being seemingly trapped in that situation would be overwhelming. Frankly, I would think that everyone in your home would be feeling a bit socially claustrophobic by now,...and having said that,...if you were to express what you've said above,...they might give you some resistance. I don't think they like it either. A group home idea,...you're still in a similar situation in terms of social proximities, but likely with a more understanding environment. Your own living quarters, obviously would be best,...but from the sounds of it, the reason for your whole situation is that you and your folks are not making enough money individually, and that out of necessity, housing and living costs can be pooled together and shared. Right now, with this whole CoVID-19 situation, many people are getting hit hard financially,...and even if you do have a good paying job,...the "trickle down" effects still require adjustments in daily norms.
Hi Christine
Sorry to hear you feel so alone because no one in your family has to go through the daily struggles you do every single minute of everyday.
There are a lot of people in your house. As a kid I didnt know I was autistic, there were 7 of us in a 3 bed house, someone in every room, and I remember myself thinking "I don't like people" "There are too many people in this house"
I had to share a double bed with my sister and found it overwhelming.
The overwhelm is frustrating, hence wanting to scream. A good idea would be to try and find a way both to let your energy out in a healthy way, you don't have to like sport, a brisk solitary walk in nature will do.
Art, music, reading fiction is an excellent way to increase your social coping skills. Can you find an activity that you love, we all have one, sometimes they are buried under the mundane every day trash. It is important to find yours as it will help you to relax. Reading fiction is supposed to help you feel like you are in a room on your own, just you and an absorbing story.
Wanting our own space is common in autism, people are too loud, too full on.
Reading good fiction will afford you that "space" it might not be physical space but it is mental and emotional space which is invaluable for an autism and a library is your best friend as it is full of free books. No access to a library, there are classical literature books online to read for free on certain sites. project Gutenberg for instance.
Holidays would be the ideal time to find these sites to find these old wonderful absorbing books that will give you that space. I wish I had known this as a child.
Books save lives, you can goole that, they preserve mental health. Fiction especially.
Books will get rid of your need to feel important to others. Feeling important to others does not matter, but feeling important to yourself does.
Books will also increase social skills, intellectual capabilities and will open doors for you to find jobs to pay for your own place.
I hope this helps, PS books will be guaranteed to help you feel less alone as you meet characters who feel like you.
Sorry to hear you feel so alone because no one in your family has to go through the daily struggles you do every single minute of everyday.
There are a lot of people in your house. As a kid I didnt know I was autistic, there were 7 of us in a 3 bed house, someone in every room, and I remember myself thinking "I don't like people" "There are too many people in this house"
I had to share a double bed with my sister and found it overwhelming.
The overwhelm is frustrating, hence wanting to scream. A good idea would be to try and find a way both to let your energy out in a healthy way, you don't have to like sport, a brisk solitary walk in nature will do.
Art, music, reading fiction is an excellent way to increase your social coping skills. Can you find an activity that you love, we all have one, sometimes they are buried under the mundane every day trash. It is important to find yours as it will help you to relax. Reading fiction is supposed to help you feel like you are in a room on your own, just you and an absorbing story.
Wanting our own space is common in autism, people are too loud, too full on.
Reading good fiction will afford you that "space" it might not be physical space but it is mental and emotional space which is invaluable for an autism and a library is your best friend as it is full of free books. No access to a library, there are classical literature books online to read for free on certain sites. project Gutenberg for instance.
Holidays would be the ideal time to find these sites to find these old wonderful absorbing books that will give you that space. I wish I had known this as a child.
Books save lives, you can goole that, they preserve mental health. Fiction especially.
Books will get rid of your need to feel important to others. Feeling important to others does not matter, but feeling important to yourself does.
Books will also increase social skills, intellectual capabilities and will open doors for you to find jobs to pay for your own place.
I hope this helps, PS books will be guaranteed to help you feel less alone as you meet characters who feel like you.
I see get you.
I was just 17, when my beloved granddad died and that left my gran on her own and I was pushed into living with her, because not only due to being the oldest, but because I did not have a boyfriend, so the sister who is just two year's younger than me, got away with it, because she had a boyfriend. This was actually said to me by female birth parent. Yet, it was her mother, but I was manipulated into the situation. Actually, I had just started on the road to dating a chap, but it was deemed not as important as my other sister who was in a "proper" relationship.
I mean: how logical is that eh? Surely, the whole family should have banded together and supported gran, but nope, I was the one who was told that if I did not move in, that she would be put in a home and they would all blame me. Plus, gran cried for the first time ever. I mean, I never saw her cry and so, with the promise that my "family" would not forsake me, I reluctantly moved in and it was a 2 and half year of hell as their "promise" never materialised. In fact, constant excuses and, oh, the irony of it, was: you chose to move in, so deal with it!
I loved my gran, but so resented her in the end and was not there when she died. (Another horror story surrounding that).
It does seem that offspring who have family, are put on a pedistal, compared to those who are single, when, as you so rightly say, the single one should be shown extra support.
I guess you are unable to move out?
I was just 17, when my beloved granddad died and that left my gran on her own and I was pushed into living with her, because not only due to being the oldest, but because I did not have a boyfriend, so the sister who is just two year's younger than me, got away with it, because she had a boyfriend. This was actually said to me by female birth parent. Yet, it was her mother, but I was manipulated into the situation. Actually, I had just started on the road to dating a chap, but it was deemed not as important as my other sister who was in a "proper" relationship.
I mean: how logical is that eh? Surely, the whole family should have banded together and supported gran, but nope, I was the one who was told that if I did not move in, that she would be put in a home and they would all blame me. Plus, gran cried for the first time ever. I mean, I never saw her cry and so, with the promise that my "family" would not forsake me, I reluctantly moved in and it was a 2 and half year of hell as their "promise" never materialised. In fact, constant excuses and, oh, the irony of it, was: you chose to move in, so deal with it!
I loved my gran, but so resented her in the end and was not there when she died. (Another horror story surrounding that).
It does seem that offspring who have family, are put on a pedistal, compared to those who are single, when, as you so rightly say, the single one should be shown extra support.
I guess you are unable to move out?
Holidays are stress even if you have your own space. Can you take a small closet and outfit it with pillows and blankets and a flashlight to get away from it all? Or make a makeshift fort and put stuffed animals and books in it? Sometimes just serene silence by oneself is so nice. l have seen people take closet under stairs and make it a cozy room. These are difficult times right now and you are adulting by coming here and discussing your feelings instead of keeping it bottled up. Maybe if you brainstorm, you may come up with a temporary solution.
Christine Jarvis
Active Member
Actually I was just having a bad morning I’m good now my family is very supportive and understanding I just haven’t had the best time with my anxiety since they had to lower my dosage now
Try l theanine (amino acid )it doesnt interact with antidepressants and it has the same effect as green tea, cup of tea,I still have that problem I went from 60mg to 40 overnight but I'd also od'
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