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Am I stupid to think I have ASD?

B

Boggle

New Member
Hi, so I know you guys can't diagnose me and I guess I'm just trying to work out if I'm completely off track or not. I think I would be considered to have ASD but I keep doubting myself and feel too stupid to talk to anyone about it. I have a 3000-word document (a categorised table of things about me), so I'll try to summarise the main things that make me think I'm on the spectrum:
- I like routine and predictability. E.g. I have the same salad every Tuesday and the same takeaway every Friday.
- I get very stressed about food routine and planning food.
- Doing anything out of routine causes stress even if I want to do it
- I often don't see the big picture, I am very rigid sometimes and I think in boxes
- I often don't generalise things / apply things I've been told to a different situation
- I've always had obsessions e.g. book characters, movie characters, accents
- I used to memorise movies and re-watch/read scenes over and over
- I'm a perfectionist
- Apparently, I don't show things on my face
- Sometimes I don't know if people are being serious or joking
- I am anxious about having to respond to my partner's emotional and physical needs
- I like to talk about my interests, and often try to remind myself in conversations to ask the other person something
- If someone tells me something serious or sad I have an internal dialogue about making sure my face looks right for the topic and I don't accidentally smile
- I do a lot of things like rocking, biting my hands, closing my eyes, vocalising and hitting my head if I get really upset and stressed (I never let people see the worst of this though)

There are more things but this is enough rambling...

I guess the reasons I think I don't have ASD is because:
1. is it just anxiety? Or maybe it's who I am?
2. I'm social and like talking to people, I'm socially pretty appropriate I think
3. People wouldn't really notice aside from maybe I'm a bit uptight.
4. Surely I just couldn't??

I'd love to hear if anyone has been diagnosed with similar things to what I have described.
Thank you for reading, please be kind to me, I can't take any criticism!!
 
I can relate having been tested late in life with somewhat bad results having autism with dd adjusting to life is very hard good luck.
 
Sounds like you are going through an experience many of us have already gone through. For me, it was years of having just enough knowledge of childhood autism to think that I might have it,...but as an adult, I didn't seem to act like it,...or so I thought. "You don't act like those poor little children." "You don't act like Dustin Hoffman's character in The Rainman." Therefore, I didn't have autism. Whenever, I came across something that described the sensory experience of an autistic child, I was like, "That's me!", "I've had this all my life!"...but why didn't I present like them? I was just a socially awkward person,..."Just?". Growing up there was no such thing as an "autism spectrum" or Asperger's,...or ADD, or ADHD,...or any of the other "Ds". You either were horribly debilitated or you had behavior issues,...and in my generation, that meant a belt, wooden paddle, or razor strap across your behind. It wasn't until many years later, as I was being pushed harder at work that I began to have some issues with severe mental exhaustion, irritability, emotional outbursts, etc,...and sought help from a psychologist. I had, by then, some sense that I might be on the autistic spectrum,...but being in the medical field myself,...I will roll my eyes at anyone who diagnoses themselves. So,...I was not going to be diagnosing myself of anything, but did present myself to the psychologist with the intent of being screened for the possibility of having autism. Well, I learned quite a bit about myself after all the hours of interviews and performance testing with a trained professional. That, in, and of itself is valuable. The diagnosis was a relief,...I knew now. The professional diagnosis of autism is under the protection of the American's with Disabilities Act, which does provide some limited legal protections and accommodations within the legal system as well as through your employer. If this is an initial appointment for the purposes diagnosis, the billing coders will be able to get your health insurance to pay most of the cost. I thought I was going to be hit with a $1700 bill,...which ended up being around $200. If you are over 18 years of age, most insurance companies will be quick to claim they will not cover mental health services,...but they did. So, it would be worth your while to talk to the billing department and then get your diagnosis,...whatever it ends up being.
 
You do sound like it's possible. Are you going to pursue an official diagnosis?
 
I self diagnosed and for me that's good enough. I did lots of therapy over many years, self financed, and coped ok with work and life using that strategy, but when I did come across autism latterly through working with young people with Aspergers and their parents, I recognised it as the missing piece of the puzzle.

By then I had just some core issues that hadn't changed, that I just couldn't make progress with despite all my years of trying, and I had developed the theory that something seemed to be not there for me that most others used to navigate unstructured social communication. That is a core part of autism as it turns out.

Just hang out, read stuff, look into it more. All of your 4 alternatives can be true alongside autism btw.
 
I there

I joined when I was not diagnosed, thinking that by joining, it might give me answers, as I was hovering between I am; I am not kind of thing. Many things added up, but other things did not add up.

I do not have a montoned voice and not bland face, either.

Got my official diagnosis nearly 2 year's ago now.

From what you have detailed about yourself, certainly does seem as though you do have ASD.
 
I agree with Neonatal RRT in that when the internal experience is described, I identify with people superficially different from me (me and routine seem to be contradictions in terms).

I hope you get plenty of beans and beetroot in your salads!

I valued the excuse (of being an Asperger after all) to become self-conscious and to methodically (but with very variable timing) coach myself. Thus I have eventually gained greatly in self confidence in time for old age.
 
I identified that I might have autism a few years ago. I received my diagnosis this year at the age of 56. The diagnosis really helped. It put my whole life in context and took away the doubt. The tricky thing about autism is the signs must be present from childhood. There are also other conditions that have similar traits.

If you do pursue a diagnosis, find a doc that can diagnose adults and understands how presentation is different in women. Many women are misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder or Social Anxiety Disorder, both of which can develop later in life.

BTW, these are the criteria for ASD in the DSM-5: Diagnostic Criteria | Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) | NCBDDD | CDC

I really don't know if I could diagnose you--I did not feel confident myself and needed to get an official diagnosis. But there seems to be a possibility.
 
I know after reading several social media responses, that this thing called "self diagnosis" really happens. This is just me,...but,...there is quite a bit of value going through the testing and interview process. Given this nebulous thing called the "autism spectrum" it is helpful to review your test results to see where you score in specific areas,...80th percentile in this area,...60th percentile in another area,...average in another, and so on. For example, when someone claims, "My IQ is 140",...what that really means is that it may be 160 in one area, 120 in another, 100 in yet another, and so on,...it's the average of all these scores. This is, in part, why someone can be absolutely brilliant in one area, yet can't seem to be able to tie their shoes, or drive. For me,...it is vitally important to know where my strengths and weaknesses lie as compared to the "norm". In some specific areas, I could pass as neurotypical, as everything fell within the normal range,...in others,...extremely autistic. For me,...it's not THAT I am autistic, it is HOW I am autistic. Personally, I thought I did poorly in areas that I was actually strong in, and vice-versa. Also, keep in mind that you should be off any supplements, nootropics, and medications that might adversely influence the results and diagnosis. Be at your worst. Now, if you have an IQ of 140, at your worst,...well, it will likely be significantly higher when you are at your best. More importantly, the official diagnosis, in the US, and likely in other countries, will have law(s) that provide some protections, considerations, and accommodations for you as an employee at work, and within the legal system should you be arrested. You can't claim you have autism after something happens at work or when dealing with law enforcement,...you have to be able to prove it and have it on record. I have a strong motivation to know "why". If I could get into a lab and do a series of brain imaging studies, I would jump at the opportunity.
 
I am currently self-identified, having received an OCPD diagnosis with sensory processing difficulties and a traumatic past. I'm sort of in the same vein as @Thinx in that the missing piece makes sense to me, even if it doesn't pass this formal evaluation. Is an assessment worth it? For me, ultimately, yes, if only because it triggered a trauma of being misdiagnosed as a child that I can now work through in therapy. Would I love the official validation? At times, absolutely. Will I get it? That's tough to say, for a variety of reasons, one of them being how females present (I know there are exceptions regardless of gender identity), and another being trauma complicating maladaptive learned behaviors that look like autistic neurological ones.

The best advice I can give, if it's okay, is to research your assessor. You're an adult. See if they have experience with adults. Identify what is important about getting an official diagnosis. Weigh it out with the risk that you may be misunderstood, or evaluated under less-than-ideal conditions (like me, during an uncontrolled trauma trigger), or maybe the assessor is inexperienced in knowing what to look for.

And lots of us have gone through this process in one way or another. In the case of many, it has been liberating to receive an official diagnosis. In other cases, like mine, weigh out the data, and choose what fits and what doesn't.

I hope this helps.
 
afs64.jpg


Yes, you sound very much like one of us. And for just 1/2 dozen donuts and an Apple Fritter I will send you a official Aspie secret decoder ring and put you on the bi-millenial newsletter mailing list. Be sure to send us your changes of address every 500 years.

;)

(seriously, yes it does sound mostly spectrumy. The social skills/comfort is not typical with Aspies but not unheard of either. We come in infinate variety just like NTs.)
 
No need to feel stupid... @Boggle You are who you are, to start with there are some good online tests to take, answer them honestly, that's how I started...

I had an idea (through friends) that I might be Aspie in mid 40's (five years ago), took some of those tests, which seemed to confirm a few thoughts

I didn't formally test until this year when I became unemployed, and in May I was diagnosed with HFA 1, high functioning autism/asperger's
 
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Boggle said:
Hi
Click to expand...

Firstly, welcome to the Forums
Sounds like you might well fit the pattern which is often given the label of Asd or asc.

There are several on line tests which you could take and see if they confirm or refute your suspicions.

Enjoy the journey towards clarity for youself
 
Sherlock77 said:
No need to feel stupid... @Boggle You are who you are, to start with there are some good online tests to take, answer them honestly, that's how I started...

I had an idea (through friends) that I might be Aspie in mid 40's (five years ago), took some of those tests, which seemed to confirm a few thoughts

I didn't formally test until this year when I became unemployed, and in May I was diagnosed with HFA 1, high functioning autism/asperger's
Click to expand...

I did the online test and it said asd likely (score of 35)
 
Boggle said:
Hi, so I know you guys can't diagnose me and I guess I'm just trying to work out if I'm completely off track or not. I think I would be considered to have ASD but I keep doubting myself and feel too stupid to talk to anyone about it. I have a 3000-word document (a categorised table of things about me), so I'll try to summarise the main things that make me think I'm on the spectrum:
- I like routine and predictability. E.g. I have the same salad every Tuesday and the same takeaway every Friday.
- I get very stressed about food routine and planning food.
- Doing anything out of routine causes stress even if I want to do it
- I often don't see the big picture, I am very rigid sometimes and I think in boxes
- I often don't generalise things / apply things I've been told to a different situation
- I've always had obsessions e.g. book characters, movie characters, accents
- I used to memorise movies and re-watch/read scenes over and over
- I'm a perfectionist
- Apparently, I don't show things on my face
- Sometimes I don't know if people are being serious or joking
- I am anxious about having to respond to my partner's emotional and physical needs
- I like to talk about my interests, and often try to remind myself in conversations to ask the other person something
- If someone tells me something serious or sad I have an internal dialogue about making sure my face looks right for the topic and I don't accidentally smile
- I do a lot of things like rocking, biting my hands, closing my eyes, vocalising and hitting my head if I get really upset and stressed (I never let people see the worst of this though)
Click to expand...

I can relate to a lot of this... Especially the routine and predictability.... I ate a PB&J for lunch, for 4 years... because it didn't require a lot of guessing and it was consistent. I too am somewhat of a perfectionist, and that can cause issues for me when others don't share in my desire... It's been a love/hate relationship with myself, trying to identify my "difference"... I'm not a cruel, abusive, hateful person.... It doesn't sound like you are either... but, I'm trying to focus on the person I am, which is a good, caring , supportive human... I don't think the things you mentioned put you on the spectrum... I think you have preferences that accentuate your individuality...
 
If anything, I'd think that much of anyone examining the possibilities of their neurological profile being different from what they originally thought constitutes an astute observation.

Nothing stupid about it. Well done. ;)

(I stumbled onto my own autism quite by accident.) :oops:
 
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