An email every day

[Peacelily76]

I have a fab Aspie friend who has inspired me to learn about Autism and Asperger's. I'm NT but I realised my dad has Asperger's through learning about my friend and overcoming some acute misunderstandings. I think he has alexithymia too so I accommodate his condition by being his emapthetic advice giver.

We have got to a point where he sends me an email every day to ask for an update about me and I respond. I ask him for advice on bikes, finance, IT etc and he is brilliant at giving me thorough, well-researched advice. I provide him with an update on my NT life and some of the highlights of being me.
He has called me caring and funny which I think shows he put in an enormous amount of thought into his replies.
It's clear I've become a part of his every day routine; emailing me to check on me and have a conversation.
I quite like it!! Even though we're not arranging dinner or cinema trips, it's cool that he commits time to talk with me.

Does anyone else have a similar routine with an NT friend? Do you enjoy the no-fuss conversation and does it help you in any way?

I'm always keen to be the best friend I can so any advice and insight from you on this would be appreciated

 

[tree]

I hadn't thought about it that way, but sure,
my NT friend and I exchange email every day.

Not one though.

Closer to 5 to 15 per day.
She lives a thousand miles away.

 

[Peacelily76]

I hadn't thought about it that way, but sure,
my NT friend and I exchange email every day.

Not one though.

Closer to 5 to 15 per day.
She lives a thousand miles away.

Yeah we exchanged a lot of messages on Whatsapp last year but he overdid it, sending hundreds of messages. He ended up with overload. I've asked for us to email each other so it's more structured for him and he seems to be enjoying it more now. I don't want him to feel tired.

 

[Questella]

I've never been able to get someone to respond to me via a letter or email. I tried a lot when I was a teen then got too depressed about it.

Well I did have one teacher write me a letter after school was out, 2nd grade I think. I still have it stashed away somewhere.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I don't have a relationship that tight. I have a friend I see every couple of months and talk to on a tri-weekly (if that's a word) basis or there about.

Outside of that there's people who are my friends at my peer group and they've always got time for me, we've talked about doing a sort of indoor rockclimbing. And even thought about going on holiday - the three of us!

 

[Keigan]

Like your fab aspie friend, I am male and I am Autistic and I am Alexithymic.

Routine is everything, as an example every weekday I would sign on and send an IM to a friend who lived on the other side of the country. We were close enough friends that we could talk about anything, I usually asked how breakfast was with her two boys and in the dialogue I usually found a way to make her smile. she is an empathic though could work through and be done with something very quickly, sharp as a tack which is why we got along so well.

Benefits:
- it encouraged me to interact and figure out what the dialogue ment
- it was part of my routine
- was fun
- I was able to contribute really good advice
- I was able to solicite really good advice
- it was safe
- she was a far better communicator of chit chat than I was
- it was a safe place to to practice coping and communicating

 

[Buzzerfly]

I met my husband in 2008 (he's on the spectrum, I'm NT), and we emailed off and on for two years after, as we lived far apart and weren't sure how to connect. I REALLY liked the refreshing, blunt and different from NT world way he talked. I did the same, told him some about my life. Sometimes he was interested, others he changed the subject. I trusted him to know what was on topic. I started to think the NT world was a little stupid, and looked to him more as a leader, but I allowed myself to keep us grounded, anchored. After all, we live in the world we do, and I was more wise about it. I just think he knows more about God, heaven, and reality than me, frankly.

Anyway, when I finally did see him again, I was so crazy attracted to him that we were hardly ever apart after. Love touching him, being close etc. we now have 2 kids together. My only advice, don't eventually dismiss him if you become attracted on the basis he's "disabled". Autistic people are angels and guides, damaged by the world like the rest of us. He may be retarded in dealing with the world, but otherwise, he might have more going on than you think!