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And why did no one stop to help?

Sherlock77

Sherlock77

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Actually three people did

The story you ask? Winter morning commute to work, bad enough snowfall, and I saw a driver of a small who had slid into a small snowdrift

I turned around and offered to help, but there was no way that I could do it on my own, but he wasn't stuck that bad that two or three people pushing could get the car free

I tried flagging down some other drivers, it didn't take too long for one lady with her son who stopped to join the effort, she was wondering if I was the car owner but I was just trying to get help... Anyway, between all three of us we got the car back on the road easily enough, one other person stopped as we were pretty much finished, but at least he stopped

The one thing that bothered me the most was watching so many cars pass by without stopping, surely they saw the stuck car! My first reaction when I saw it was to at least offer help... I wasn't very impressed... I'm no mechanic (ie. fixing broken down cars), but I have the ability to help push a car, something I've done many times before...

I just can't understand why people refuse to help, it actually becomes a safety issue on a cold winter day
 
Half of the country’s population supports selfishness and unrepentant bullying as values to celebrate, so they probably were laughing at that car on the side of the road.
 
Try to keep in mind that there will be some that outright cant help.

For instance if it were me driving by, well... there's nothing I can do there. I cant push something heavy without wrecking myself and just making the overall situation much worse, and I've got nothing to offer beyond that. If someone is completely alone, I might stop and like, offer the use of my phone, but when there's clearly already others helping (or they clearly have a working phone, like I can see it on) then there's little reason for me to stop and complicate things further.

My point is, it does little good to just assume, and there's no way to truly know in any given case.
 
Metalhead said:
Half of the country’s population supports selfishness and unrepentant bullying as values to celebrate, so they probably were laughing at that car on the side of the road.
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I will agree with you to a certain extent, and I don't know everyone's story as they passed by

I do realize not everyone is physically able to help, even being a rather small car I'm certainly not that muscular that I can do it on my own, but I'm sure more people could have stopped
 
Misery said:
Try to keep in mind that there will be some that outright cant help.

For instance if it were me driving by, well... there's nothing I can do there. I cant push something heavy without wrecking myself and just making the overall situation much worse, and I've got nothing to offer beyond that. If someone is completely alone, I might stop and like, offer the use of my phone, but when there's clearly already others helping (or they clearly have a working phone, like I can see it on) then there's little reason for me to stop and complicate things further.

My point is, it does little good to just assume, and there's no way to truly know in any given case
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I know not everyone can help

I guess my nature has often been to help people out when I can be of help, perhaps not everyone is wired that way :cool:
 
My help story- the owner and his girlfriend started duking it out. Me and another co-worker tried to pull her out of the snafu and guess what? She turned on us and wanted to hit us.

So sometimes, maybe, but it just depends.
 
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Sherlock77 said:
I know not everyone can help

I guess my nature has often been to help people out when I can be of help, perhaps not everyone is wired that way :cool:
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I'm almost always the one that wants to help too. And although I do struggle with feeling like I should have a lot of contempt for everyone, seeing someone hurt or suffering triggers a genuine empathetic reaction and makes me not want to be a bystander.

I realize that most people are not wired like that though. I can go by how many times I've needed help and people just walked by, ignored me, laughed, or filmed me.
 
I usually do stop when I see a broken automobile. I've changed fuses, changed flat tires for a few folks, generally patched up a few old heaps, and helped folks wait for the AAA tow driver to get there (in the case of an early model Prius which had completely given up at 300,000 miles due to the owner not doing right with the oil in the crankcase.)
The funny thing about stuck vehicles is that they're often fairly easy to extricate. If you've got power to the engine and it can turn its own wheels, and the wheels are still touching the ground (or at least most of them), you can usually pack the wheels with logs, brush, the floormats out of the cabin, and get the car moving again. I've done this after wrecking my own car, and after getting it stuck in a snowy hill.
 
Sherlock77 said:
Actually three people did

The story you ask? Winter morning commute to work, bad enough snowfall, and I saw a driver of a small who had slid into a small snowdrift

I turned around and offered to help, but there was no way that I could do it on my own, but he wasn't stuck that bad that two or three people pushing could get the car free

I tried flagging down some other drivers, it didn't take too long for one lady with her son who stopped to join the effort, she was wondering if I was the car owner but I was just trying to get help... Anyway, between all three of us we got the car back on the road easily enough, one other person stopped as we were pretty much finished, but at least he stopped

The one thing that bothered me the most was watching so many cars pass by without stopping, surely they saw the stuck car! My first reaction when I saw it was to at least offer help... I wasn't very impressed... I'm no mechanic (ie. fixing broken down cars), but I have the ability to help push a car, something I've done many times before...

I just can't understand why people refuse to help, it actually becomes a safety issue on a cold winter day
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There were other people passing on the road. I suspect it is because of the well-known "bystander effect" in psychology.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-diffusion-of-responsibility-2795095
They all figured "someone else" would probably help, so they didn't need to. There may also have been fear it was a trick to get them vulnerable and then mug them. And people are always in a big hurry to get to where they are going. If I'm late for work because I helped someone on the way, I'll be written up. Maybe worse. You might get involved in a domestic dispute. Risk-to-benefit calculation.

People aren't "evil" because they don't help, but they are pretty good at finding reasons why they shouldn't have to. Not wanting to get involved is instinctive. To do otherwise is the exception.

In America, it is assumed you have a phone, so you'll call the Auto Club or someone else. The cities all have freeway patrols with tow trucks looking for people in trouble. Or the police will stop to help. Before cell phones, there were freeway call boxes every couple of miles. Nobody stops to help anyone in LA unless they see blood and flames. Curse of the big city. If you were in a remote area, your chance of getting help is pretty good.

I have helped people in accidents and felt pretty good about it. And sometimes the person in the accident dies on you and you don't feel so good.
 
@Au Naturel

I guess I must be the exception then, without trying to sound too proud... The odds of getting mugged where I live pushing a car out of the snow is rather low :cool: so I really don't worry that much about it

Just for the record I have watched the movie Fargo, and we all know what happens on the highway :p
 
Recently a older lady hit a guy in a car accident outside of my bank. I figured she was in shock. I talked to her and asked her if she had driver license and insurance. She couldn't reach her wallet because it slid to car floor. I got it for her and told her to take deep breaths and call her insurance company. The guy was a jerk, he yelled he was leaving on a cruise, l had to remind him, thank god nobody got hurt.
 
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Gregory Clark was a columnist in Toronto, and one day around age 60 he left his hotel downtown to walk three blocks to buy some shirts. It was an icy day, and he quickly slipped and fell. Several people rushed over to help him up, and he went on his way. Returning to the street after the store, he slipped again, landing in dirty slush. Someone kicked his package away, and then stole it. Nobody would even look at him as he struggled to get up, assuming he was drunk.
 
One big reason that people don't stop to help anymore is safety. Not long ago it was normal here to stop and help like you did. But in the past few years the authorities have actually adviced against it and warned people not to stop. Because of road pirates. They pretend they need help and when you stop they beat you and steal your car. It's not a big problem, it doesn't happen every day but it used to never happen. Then it started happening and now people are more sceptical about getting involved.
 
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A friend of mine got washed off a causeway during the wet season, her car ended up on rocks only 10 metres from the roadside. She got out of the car safely but only just, she sat on the roof of her mostly submerged car surrounded by white water. Many cars drove past without stopping, some did stop but only to take photos.

She was there for over an hour before one of the locals came past and rescued her and her car.
 
Gerontius said:
I usually do stop when I see a broken automobile. I've changed fuses, changed flat tires for a few folks, generally patched up a few old heaps, and helped folks wait for the AAA tow driver to get there (in the case of an early model Prius which had completely given up at 300,000 miles due to the owner not doing right with the oil in the crankcase.)
The funny thing about stuck vehicles is that they're often fairly easy to extricate. If you've got power to the engine and it can turn its own wheels, and the wheels are still touching the ground (or at least most of them), you can usually pack the wheels with logs, brush, the floormats out of the cabin, and get the car moving again. I've done this after wrecking my own car, and after getting it stuck in a snowy hill.
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When I lived in Utah, I carried a bag of cat litter in the trunk. It provides good traction in many snow situations.
 
Mary Terry said:
When I lived in Utah, I carried a bag of cat litter in the trunk. It provides good traction in many snow situations.
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It also adds a bit of weight to the rear over the drive wheels making it a little less likely you'll need it. Did the same thing in Michigan when I was a youngster.
 
Au Naturel said:
It also adds a bit of weight to the rear over the drive wheels making it a little less likely you'll need it. Did the same thing in Michigan when I was a youngster.
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Here in Alberta lots of people with 2WD pickups put sandbags in the pickup box for winter traction
 
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