Annoying people in your life.

[Soup]

I bet there's at least one! In my case, it's my mother: a NT in complete total denial as to the nature if Asperger's. She's a nice lady: treated us kids well growing up & did her best. There's no politically correct or nice way to say this so I'll just let it out. She's dumb. Like most kind, friendly BUT dumb people, she chatters constantly about everything! Sometimes, she says so much so quickly that I don't understand a word of it. Sometimes, she's chattering aloud BUT to herself so I can never tell if she's talking to me or to herself. The chattering has driven me to flee from the house: & it's my & my husband's freakin' house!!!

She's elderly but spry & lives downstairs with my father in an apartment built for them. You'd think she'd spend more time in her own place but NOOOooooo. She comes upstairs at all hours to stand over me chitter-chattering. She thinks that, if she just socializes with me enough, I'll 'snap out of' my Asperger's, become a chatterer too (SOMEONE SAVE MEEEEE!!!!!) & become 'a regular person' (as opposed to an irregular one...). She thinks that my real self is 'somewhere in my head trying to get out'. Where do they come up with this malarkey? This IS my only self. Asperger's is not a coat I can shake off when I don't want it.

She won't leave me alone & as a result, I often find myself running for cover & hiding in my own house or heading for the hills (grab my pug & make a break for it!) I try to be patient; I really do BUT it goes against my nature to be chattered at at random times throughout the day. One of the worst things about this is that there's no substance to her chattering: she talks about nothing whatsoever.

Do you have one of these in your life? How do you survive?

 

[King_Oni]

There's a reason there are only 4 people I have regular contact with in my life... 2 being my parents, my girlfriend and a good friend of mine. And in general, they're not annoying. Yes, they might have their moments, but so might I.

In the past I had those people, I told them I wasn't interested in hanging out with them anymore and that they annoyed the F out of me. That's a decent way to deal with them, lol.

Heck, I've had a few people in the past act similar on social networks, but a block button works like a charm.

Chances are that if it was something I had to deal with, I'd be at the police station earlier for threatening someone with violence (or even using violence). That's also a way to break bonds. I mean.. I'm quite sure that if I'd hospitalize my mom or dad because I found them extremely unbearable, they'd get the clue. No violence isn't the answer, but some people are way to ignorant to talk to.

That being said; I feel that quite a lot it's just me. I can't deal with "social situations". My parents can chatter all they want, I don't care, don't involve me. I'm also quite sure that if I move out and on my own I'll wont hear/see them a lot. They're quite like "if you're moving out, it's probably because you want your own life".

So, I don't know... i think considering my circumstances and situation, the people around me are the least of my worries in a way.

 

[. . .]

I bet there's at least one! In my case, it's my mother: a NT in complete total denial as to the nature if Asperger's. She's a nice lady: treated us kids well growing up & did her best. There's no politically correct or nice way to say this so I'll just let it out. She's dumb. Like most kind, friendly BUT dumb people, she chatters constantly about everything! Sometimes, she says so much so quickly that I don't understand a word of it. Sometimes, she's chattering aloud BUT to herself so I can never tell if she's talking to me or to herself. The chattering has driven me to flee from the house: & it's my & my husband's freakin' house!!!

She's elderly but spry & lives downstairs with my father in an apartment built for them. You'd think she'd spend more time in her own place but NOOOooooo. She comes upstairs at all hours to stand over me chitter-chattering. She thinks that, if she just socializes with me enough, I'll 'snap out of' my Asperger's, become a chatterer too (SOMEONE SAVE MEEEEE!!!!!) & become 'a regular person' (as opposed to an irregular one...). She thinks that my real self is 'somewhere in my head trying to get out'. Where do they come up with this malarkey? This IS my only self. Asperger's is not a coat I can shake off when I don't want it.

She won't leave me alone & as a result, I often find myself running for cover & hiding in my own house or heading for the hills (grab my pug & make a break for it!) I try to be patient; I really do BUT it goes against my nature to be chattered at at random times throughout the day. One of the worst things about this is that there's no substance to her chattering: she talks about nothing whatsoever.

Do you have one of these in your life? How do you survive?

I could have said pretty much everything you said about your mom about my mom. It's impossible to be in the same room as her for more than 5 minutes without feeling very annoyed.

I keep a portable audio player on me when I'm around her and put headphones on as soon as she starts annoying me. It's the best way to block her out.

 

[Soup]

HAHA, Aillas! I do the headphones trick too: They're on my head & plugged into my computer at this very moment but even that only works some of the time on her. She'll plunk herself down in a chair beside me & start yammering. BUT... the headphone trick works on my husband!

I see the temptation to resort to violence. I could never hit a ball with a bat BUT I'm a whiz at clocking a head with a frying pan! The idea of prison, however, is less appealing to me.

 

[buckyboy14]

My stepfather and I don't get along AT ALL. He is so sensitive, and if I even ask him what channel something is on, for example, he will respond sarcastically and make a big deal about it. And when I try to be nice and have a conversation with him, he thinks I'm up to something. I am so sick of him, and I badly want him out of my life. For a person who claims he's read about Asperger's, he certainly doesn't show it.

 

[Celina]

Hi Soup!

Your post made me giggle. Even though I am an NT, my mother to drives me up the wall with her constant nattering. She loves to gossip and if that we're enough, she'd talk your ear off on the subject of American politics. But hey, we still love them!

I've tried and with some success establishing boundaries with her, but with her age it can be difficult for her to understand the new rule in effect and make a scene about it. Arguments unfold, doors are slammed, but its worthwhile. But stand your ground, and after a while she'll get the hint.

Good luck!

 

[Soup]

Thanks for the advice, Celina! Typically, my strategy is to shut down (oyster strategy) or escape (Houdini strategy). The thought of standing my ground under those irritating circumstances would never have occurred to me: I've literally found myself imagining getting a hold of Frodo's camouflaging blanket to make a hoodie & some pants!

 

[Margaretha]

My mother was a nightmare. I was never good enough for her and she made me feel small. People used to tell me how nice she was. she was so friendly and social, They wouldn't believe me when I told them she was mean. She was manipulative and wanted me to be like her. I would get into arguments with her and she would tell me there was something wrong with me and that I was sick in the head. She's dead now and I miss her

 

[Pandorum]

I feel really mean, but my (younger) brother is annoying.

Here's a perfect example why: he sits on youtube all the time with his headphones AND TV on, and he's not even watching the damn TV!

And this is where my mother annoys me sometimes, she says "Open the blinds, you're wasting power having your light on", yet my brother having his TV on all the time when he's not even watching it is fine?

There's more people, but I won't go into all that.

 

[Megan]

My mother is extremely annoying. She's very "typical" and our personalities clash. She always sounds whiny when she speaks and she talks about nothing, yet she's always talking. She also always has an attitude in her voice which gets on my brother's and my nerves.

 

[CJinherPJs]

My paternal grandmother annoys the hell out of me. I've known her to drone on and on for more than 3 hours at a time, and it's no different when she meets up with friends in the town. When I've visited her she'd march me on to the bus and show me off to as many little old ladies as she could; they were nice enough but kept asking me lots of questions which I wasn't sure how to answer. There have been a few times where she's dismissed Asperger's as "nonsense", such as when she called me up on not making eye contact when I was 11, and a few years later when she noticed I struggled to make small talk, which hurt me and made me not want to see her. I don't see her so often now; it's not that I hate her or anything, I just think she's disappointed that I didn't turn out the way she wanted me to.

 

[imagesbyholly]

Reading this thread with interest- my MIL is coming for a visit. She has been so cruel to me for so many years on end, and she loves drama. My husband gets mad at me for being anxious and upset that they are visiting and wants me to just forgive and forget. Oh, but she makes so much trouble! And she plays with my honesty and nervousness to manipulate me. She also is constantly trying to break or "streatch" rules we have about our kids. We've stood our ground but just thinking about it makes me want to vomit. I'm so glad we don't live with her, or even within five states of her. I love rules- I wish she would just keep them! My parents give us no trouble whatever., because our rules are sensible and there are plenty of other ways to have fun besides, for example, giving our girls sexually provocative toys. Then we have to say no or throw them away and insult her. No one else at all gives us so much trouble, actually. Oh, to be calm and just deal with it as it comes!