Another lonely holiday

[mw2530]

Slowly as time has marched on and as I grow older holidays have transformed from something positive and something that I looked forward to to now something that just reminds me how depressed, lonely, anxious, miserable, bitter, and hopeless I have become. As the U.S. celebrates another birthday, I feel like I have no reason to celebrate living in a world that casts me aside. I went to work today, and almost everyone else had taken off b/c they have personal lives. I had little to no work to do so all I could think about was how lonely I've been for so many years and how seemingly all the benefits of living in this country goes to NT's. Most people my age are either in a relationship or married. This is probably even more the case where I live b/c it isn't a huge metropolis so options are less and less. Or if they are single, they have kids.

I don't even know how the miserable years have passed by so quickly. I feel like I have no voice in my life and all I can do is watch my life unfold from the sideline. Watch as I spend day after day, week after week, month after month, holiday after holiday, and year after year lonely and miserable with no hope. Sure, during some holidays I spend time with some of my siblings or my parents, but I'm so bored and sick of it. Plus they all seem preoccupied with their own lives and don't seem to really care about my life. Being the youngest, my opinion never seemed to count for much. I've always been an afterthought. Probably an accident too.

There is an article that I read about how there are three major components of life - Purpose (work), health, and relationships. And in order to find happiness, a person needs to have all three. Lets see, I do have a job but hate most things that come with it. I only do it to collect a paycheck. Health - well I have severe anxiety, depression, and chronic insomnia. Relationships - LOL. Do I really need to explain that one? I went 0-3. I struck out on life.

 

[Streetwise]

Slowly as time has marched on and as I grow older holidays have transformed from something positive and something that I looked forward to to now something that just reminds me how depressed, lonely, anxious, miserable, bitter, and hopeless I have become. As the U.S. celebrates another birthday, I feel like I have no reason to celebrate living in a world that casts me aside. I went to work today, and almost everyone else had taken off b/c they have personal lives. I had little to no work to do so all I could think about was how lonely I've been for so many years and how seemingly all the benefits of living in this country goes to NT's. Most people my age are either in a relationship or married. This is probably even more the case where I live b/c it isn't a huge metropolis so options are less and less. Or if they are single, they have kids.

I don't even know how the miserable years have passed by so quickly. I feel like I have no voice in my life and all I can do is watch my life unfold from the sideline. Watch as I spend day after day, week after week, month after month, holiday after holiday, and year after year lonely and miserable with no hope. Sure, during some holidays I spend time with some of my siblings or my parents, but I'm so bored and sick of it. Plus they all seem preoccupied with their own lives and don't seem to really care about my life. Being the youngest, my opinion never seemed to count for much. I've always been an afterthought. Probably an accident too.

There is an article that I read about how there are three major components of life - Purpose (work), health, and relationships. And in order to find happiness, a person needs to have all three. Lets see, I do have a job but hate most things that come with it. I only do it to collect a paycheck. Health - well I have severe anxiety, depression, and chronic insomnia. Relationships - LOL. Do I really need to explain that one? I went 0-3. I struck out on life.

if you changed the three conditions for happiness your life could be different one person decided to communicate that idea
there are people who DONT think a relationship thats includes cohabiting is the ideal
but love the life they have for yogis in India,nuns,priests

 

[Streetwise]

IM

Slowly as time has marched on and as I grow older holidays have transformed from something positive and something that I looked forward to to now something that just reminds me how depressed, lonely, anxious, miserable, bitter, and hopeless I have become. As the U.S. celebrates another birthday, I feel like I have no reason to celebrate living in a world that casts me aside. I went to work today, and almost everyone else had taken off b/c they have personal lives. I had little to no work to do so all I could think about was how lonely I've been for so many years and how seemingly all the benefits of living in this country goes to NT's. Most people my age are either in a relationship or married. This is probably even more the case where I live b/c it isn't a huge metropolis so options are less and less. Or if they are single, they have kids.

I don't even know how the miserable years have passed by so quickly. I feel like I have no voice in my life and all I can do is watch my life unfold from the sideline. Watch as I spend day after day, week after week, month after month, holiday after holiday, and year after year lonely and miserable with no hope. Sure, during some holidays I spend time with some of my siblings or my parents, but I'm so bored and sick of it. Plus they all seem preoccupied with their own lives and don't seem to really care about my life. Being the youngest, my opinion never seemed to count for much. I've always been an afterthought. Probably an accident too.

There is an article that I read about how there are three major components of life - Purpose (work), health, and relationships. And in order to find happiness, a person needs to have all three. Lets see, I do have a job but hate most things that come with it. I only do it to collect a paycheck. Health - well I have severe anxiety, depression, and chronic insomnia. Relationships - LOL. Do I really need to explain that one? I went 0-3. I struck out on life.

disrespecting whoever taught you to think this way but the mind is very powerful and you have

 

[Streetwise]

to decide what will i do about my mental health ,do you what to quit your job ?

Slowly as time has marched on and as I grow older holidays have transformed from something positive and something that I looked forward to to now something that just reminds me how depressed, lonely, anxious, miserable, bitter, and hopeless I have become. As the U.S. celebrates another birthday, I feel like I have no reason to celebrate living in a world that casts me aside. I went to work today, and almost everyone else had taken off b/c they have personal lives. I had little to no work to do so all I could think about was how lonely I've been for so many years and how seemingly all the benefits of living in this country goes to NT's. Most people my age are either in a relationship or married. This is probably even more the case where I live b/c it isn't a huge metropolis so options are less and less. Or if they are single, they have kids.

I don't even know how the miserable years have passed by so quickly. I feel like I have no voice in my life and all I can do is watch my life unfold from the sideline. Watch as I spend day after day, week after week, month after month, holiday after holiday, and year after year lonely and miserable with no hope. Sure, during some holidays I spend time with some of my siblings or my parents, but I'm so bored and sick of it. Plus they all seem preoccupied with their own lives and don't seem to really care about my life. Being the youngest, my opinion never seemed to count for much. I've always been an afterthought. Probably an accident too.

There is an article that I read about how there are three major components of life - Purpose (work), health, and relationships. And in order to find happiness, a person needs to have all three. Lets see, I do have a job but hate most things that come with it. I only do it to collect a paycheck. Health - well I have severe anxiety, depression, and chronic insomnia. Relationships - LOL. Do I really need to explain that one? I went 0-3. I struck out on life.

 

[Sherlock77]

Slowly as time has marched on and as I grow older holidays have transformed from something positive and something that I looked forward to to now something that just reminds me how depressed, lonely, anxious, miserable, bitter, and hopeless I have become. As the U.S. celebrates another birthday, I feel like I have no reason to celebrate living in a world that casts me aside. I went to work today, and almost everyone else had taken off b/c they have personal lives. I had little to no work to do so all I could think about was how lonely I've been for so many years and how seemingly all the benefits of living in this country goes to NT's. Most people my age are either in a relationship or married. This is probably even more the case where I live b/c it isn't a huge metropolis so options are less and less. Or if they are single, they have kids.

I don't even know how the miserable years have passed by so quickly. I feel like I have no voice in my life and all I can do is watch my life unfold from the sideline. Watch as I spend day after day, week after week, month after month, holiday after holiday, and year after year lonely and miserable with no hope. Sure, during some holidays I spend time with some of my siblings or my parents, but I'm so bored and sick of it. Plus they all seem preoccupied with their own lives and don't seem to really care about my life. Being the youngest, my opinion never seemed to count for much. I've always been an afterthought. Probably an accident too.

There is an article that I read about how there are three major components of life - Purpose (work), health, and relationships. And in order to find happiness, a person needs to have all three. Lets see, I do have a job but hate most things that come with it. I only do it to collect a paycheck. Health - well I have severe anxiety, depression, and chronic insomnia. Relationships - LOL. Do I really need to explain that one? I went 0-3. I struck out on life.

I can understand where you're coming from, my social life isn't exactly active, it is but isn't... Right now I don't have partner, but over many years (45 of them) have learned to live with it.

More to the point, on holidays? I'm often on my own, on the May long weekend this year, I left the big city for two days, did a solo road trip onto the prairies, just me, myself and I For me a road trip like that is soothing, everyone has a different way of relaxing themselves.

I have been fortunate to stumble into the hobby of photography, the reason for that two day trip, the enjoyment of discovery and exploring. Even here in the big city, my photography hobby is what drags me out of the house on weekends to explore.

I think that just simply being outside, especially where there is any grass, or river, or lake is a positive thing. If you enjoy reading a book, take it to the park instead of hiding inside your place. Or just go for a walk, you don't have to take photos. Etc...

 

[Alaska]

I am sorry u r feeling so down now.

I find it helpful to work on things that will improve myself and my chances of being happier. Perhaps it will help you if you do the same?

 

[mw2530]

to decide what will i do about my mental health ,do you what to quit your job ?

I actually have an interview next week for a position that I think I would enjoy for the most part. I already got through two phone screens so this is the final interview. I don't want to get my hopes up though b/c then it will be crushing if I don't get it. Regardless, a new job won't solve most of my problems, but it would be a step in the right direction.

 

[mw2530]

I am sorry u r feeling so down now.

I find it helpful to work on things that will improve myself and my chances of being happier. Perhaps it will help you if you do the same?

Thanks Alaska for the support. I agree with you and I know I need to change my way of thinking b/c it has not solved my problems. Time is the most precious resource on earth IMO and you can never get it back once it is gone. That is what hurts the most is when so much precious time has been spent suffering, but I know I need to move forward. I can't allow the pain of the past cause more pain in the future.