ANXIETY- advice needed :)

[trustwaves]

So I suffer from pretty bad separation anxiety and social anxiety. I can be alone, I sometimes enjoy it BUT I can't leave the house alone or be independent.
It's been like this for years and I'm just stuck in my room trying to relax and distract myself. Does anyone have any ideas on how I could go for little walks on my own?? Xx

 

[Streetwise]

quietest time of the weekday is about 10.45 -11am in the burbs ,weekend 8am .
the psychologist recommended way is a few minutes at a time,
all at once is called flooding if you're phobic ,i go on a sunny day but im physically disabled.
i go to the edge of the open land behind my house -stopping and starting -(thinking about seeing bees butterflies flowers )remembering im sick !!!!!!of being stuck!!!!! in the house!!!!
i suffer from panic disorder that means my brain wants to walk!!!!!!!!!

 

[Otenba]

Break this process down into little steps. Try just stepping outside your front door first; if you can do that, maybe try to stand/sit outside your front door. If you can think of a task to do while outside the door, even better because it might help you cope with being outside the door.

When you feel ready to try doing a walk, if you have a smartphone, get a map up so you can plan a route and follow it. If it helps, draw the map out on a piece of paper too. Don't worry about how long the walk is, just pick a place to go to that you think you feel okay with, then try to go there and back. Just crossing the street you live on and back is totally fine.

If possible, take someone you trust with you - though explain what you're doing to them so they're not wondering what you're doing.

Give it a shot and don't expect things to change quickly; just remember that you are only outside your front door if you feel scared about trying the first step I suggested.

Best wishes.

 

[trustwaves]

Break this process down into little steps. Try just stepping outside your front door first; if you can do that, maybe try to stand/sit outside your front door. If you can think of a task to do while outside the door, even better because it might help you cope with being outside the door.

When you feel ready to try doing a walk, if you have a smartphone, get a map up so you can plan a route and follow it. If it helps, draw the map out on a piece of paper too. Don't worry about how long the walk is, just pick a place to go to that you think you feel okay with, then try to go there and back. Just crossing the street you live on and back is totally fine.

If possible, take someone you trust with you - though explain what you're doing to them so they're not wondering what you're doing.

Give it a shot and don't expect things to change quickly; just remember that you are only outside your front door if you feel scared about trying the first step I suggested.

Best wishes.

Thankyou so much this is very helpful

 

[Theta.G]

So I suffer from pretty bad separation anxiety and social anxiety. I can be alone, I sometimes enjoy it BUT I can't leave the house alone or be independent.
It's been like this for years and I'm just stuck in my room trying to relax and distract myself. Does anyone have any ideas on how I could go for little walks on my own?? Xx

Snack on something while you are walking

listen to music in 1 earphone while your other ear is listening to your surroundings. You could also listen with both ear phones and when you pass others turn down the volume of your music in your pocket so you can hear what's going on around you. headphones are a really good "don't talk to me" symbol.

Alternatively you can listen to audio books about anxiety while going for your walk so you can focus on calming thought exercises while you go for a walk. I recommend Overcoming social anxiety step by step by Dr. Thomas A Richards. Title says social anxiety but every audio session can be applied to all anxiety seamlessly.

Carry a small but effective weapon with you, concealed of course just in case. Preferably legal.

In addition you could also talk to someone on the phone while you go for a walk. So if anything did happen someone would know.

 

[Otenba]

Thankyou so much this is very helpful

You're welcome!

 

[Chance]

Not to be crude, ever pretend to know it all, or sound like some anxiety guru... I'm just a messed up guy trying so hard to make it in a world that is really loud, bright, fuzzy, and awkward for me, but I study this stuff deep.

For me when I can't control it (for now)... Its my meds, or I just suffer until my brain finally runs out of, or gives up on pumping out the chemical nightmare that causes this all to take place... UNLESS I can derail the whole process FIRST... Which is my best option...

I KNOW that every reaction, and every thought, releases a chemical cocktail in our brains that is released into our bloodstream and some of those thoughts are also deeply subconscious (maybe even stemming from a past we run from or try to forget)...

So some deep digging has to take place to ever make any headway. We can say we changed our thoughts, but if subconsciously we are still churning out the same old stuff that causes the chem dump, then the anxiety remains... There is a worse thing to this... We get truly addicted to that chemical dump... This is where things get tricky.

If we are addicted to that chem dump then our brains tend to start up the process to give us what our body is demanding, just like a junkie drug addict... There is really no difference, except there is no external substance at play (in my case)... It comes from the pharmacy in our (my) head.

Fridgemagnetman or "Fridge" as I call him, taught me some stuff by actually tricking my thought process when I was in one of my deep funks you can easily find on here... He just asked, "Can I juggle?" in the middle of my brainwreck. It was so bizarre because I thought, "Are you some sort of froot loop?" But it sent me off on trying to figure out what he was doing... and soon after guess what? It was over!

Now I try to replicate that... I have these thoughts and when they start I try to very quickly find a way to purposely derail that process. Is that easy... not so much.

I tend to get really bad anxiety in grocery stores... Especially convenience stores, with the buzzers and dings and loud sounds... I actually feel sick at times, so I do know what you mean... If it's crowded sometimes I have trouble even going in so I try and do this switch to where I turn it into a game. I count, or I put on my earbuds and hit play... I put myself in a different place mentally and sometimes it works...

 

[Bolletje]

Things that help me go for a walk when anxious:
-playing music on my headphones
-playing audiobooks on my headphones
-playing Pokémon go
-using Zombies, Run! (A running app with a post-apocalyptic storyline in which you complete missions by walking or running while chased by imaginary zombies) I can imagine this doesn’t work when you’re really anxious or scared of zombies though.

I find I just need to keep my brain occupied and need an incentive to go outside.

 

[SusanLR]

I went through this stage once in my life and couldn't do anything for the panic attacks so I was hospitalized for
it.
The nurses broke it down into a small step each day.
First I was told just to stand at the glass doors and just look outside. Force myself to watch the cars and people outside. Next time open the door and hear the sounds
and if possible just step outside on the porch.
Then with an assistant the next step was to walk from the porch to the sidewalk. They kept a cat out front and I focused on him. Each day we went a little more distance.
I remember getting half way down the block and going into a panic attack. The assistant called for a wheelchair and I was taken back in.
But, with meds and persistance I was soon walking in a nearby park about 2 blocks away. With another patient.
(this wasn't a public hospital psych ward).
When I went home I was given instructions to take time twice a day to listen to relaxation meditations and pick one thing to do that was an accomplishment, like cleaning out a drawer, cooking a meal for the family, and focus upon something that was pretty and pleasurable
such as a flower, a stone, art, something I could hold in my hand --- mindfulness. And rate the day in a dairy at night before I went to bed. Write what I felt I had accomplished. Something positive if there had been something I felt good about or if I just had a bad day,
I wrote something like..the day is over, I hope for tomorrow to be better.
I kept post-it notes around the house with affirmations on them to read.
And continue to go outside even if only for a few minutes.
I built it up to being able to walk and eventually got back to driving.
So it can be overcome by taking little steps.

I still have anxiety and bothered with depression. Some days aren't easy to get through.
But, I'm surviving things now that 20 years ago I thought I never could.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Fridgemagnetman or "Fridge" as I call him, taught me some stuff by actually tricking my thought process when I was in one of my deep funks you can easily find on here... He just asked, "Can I juggle?" in the middle of my brainwreck. It was so bizarre because I thought, "Are you some sort of froot loop?" But it sent me off on trying to figure out what he was doing... and soon after guess what? It was over!

Went to bed a man.

Woke up as a guru

 

[trustwaves]

Not to be crude, ever pretend to know it all, or sound like some anxiety guru... I'm just a messed up guy trying so hard to make it in a world that is really loud, bright, fuzzy, and awkward for me, but I study this stuff deep.

For me when I can't control it (for now)... Its my meds, or I just suffer until my brain finally runs out of, or gives up on pumping out the chemical nightmare that causes this all to take place... UNLESS I can derail the whole process FIRST... Which is my best option...

I KNOW that every reaction, and every thought, releases a chemical cocktail in our brains that is released into our bloodstream and some of those thoughts are also deeply subconscious (maybe even stemming from a past we run from or try to forget)...

So some deep digging has to take place to ever make any headway. We can say we changed our thoughts, but if subconsciously we are still churning out the same old stuff that causes the chem dump, then the anxiety remains... There is a worse thing to this... We get truly addicted to that chemical dump... This is where things get tricky.

If we are addicted to that chem dump then our brains tend to start up the process to give us what our body is demanding, just like a junkie drug addict... There is really no difference, except there is no external substance at play (in my case)... It comes from the pharmacy in our (my) head.

Fridgemagnetman or "Fridge" as I call him, taught me some stuff by actually tricking my thought process when I was in one of my deep funks you can easily find on here... He just asked, "Can I juggle?" in the middle of my brainwreck. It was so bizarre because I thought, "Are you some sort of froot loop?" But it sent me off on trying to figure out what he was doing... and soon after guess what? It was over!

Now I try to replicate that... I have these thoughts and when they start I try to very quickly find a way to purposely derail that process. Is that easy... not so much.

I tend to get really bad anxiety in grocery stores... Especially convenience stores, with the buzzers and dings and loud sounds... I actually feel sick at times, so I do know what you mean... If it's crowded sometimes I have trouble even going in so I try and do this switch to where I turn it into a game. I count, or I put on my earbuds and hit play... I put myself in a different place mentally and sometimes it works...

Wow this was so interesting to read!! I'd love to be able to imagine I was somewhere else or something but my imagination is shocking plus I have the worst memory. Music helps the most but then it makes me anxious that I can't hear what's going on around me. I makes sense that my brain continues to think about triggering things if it gets some sort of a chemical reaction out of it. I either dissociate completely or I'm so grounded that I'll have a panic attack. Never found the balance

 

[trustwaves]

I went through this stage once in my life and couldn't do anything for the panic attacks so I was hospitalized for
it.
The nurses broke it down into a small step each day.
First I was told just to stand at the glass doors and just look outside. Force myself to watch the cars and people outside. Next time open the door and hear the sounds
and if possible just step outside on the porch.
Then with an assistant the next step was to walk from the porch to the sidewalk. They kept a cat out front and I focused on him. Each day we went a little more distance.
I remember getting half way down the block and going into a panic attack. The assistant called for a wheelchair and I was taken back in.
But, with meds and persistance I was soon walking in a nearby park about 2 blocks away. With another patient.
(this wasn't a public hospital psych ward).
When I went home I was given instructions to take time twice a day to listen to relaxation meditations and pick one thing to do that was an accomplishment, like cleaning out a drawer, cooking a meal for the family, and focus upon something that was pretty and pleasurable
such as a flower, a stone, art, something I could hold in my hand --- mindfulness. And rate the day in a dairy at night before I went to bed. Write what I felt I had accomplished. Something positive if there had been something I felt good about or if I just had a bad day,
I wrote something like..the day is over, I hope for tomorrow to be better.
I kept post-it notes around the house with affirmations on them to read.
And continue to go outside even if only for a few minutes.
I built it up to being able to walk and eventually got back to driving.
So it can be overcome by taking little steps.

I still have anxiety and bothered with depression. Some days aren't easy to get through.
But, I'm surviving things now that 20 years ago I thought I never could.

This is helpful Thankyou for sharing your story! Yeah I must just take it step by step! I haven't left the house alone in 3/4 years and I would love to go on walks. Hopefully I'll find the strength to do it soon

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I sometimes enjoy it BUT I can't leave the house alone or be independent.

All thought is a tool.
We can either be used by it or learn to use it.

Can you guess which word from your quote I'm concentrating on?

If we define ourselves in a negative way it is like being driven through life.
We don't control our situation.

(Yes the word was "can't')

STOP THE CAR. I'M DRIVING.

Learn a new habit, say this when you notice the negative.

One idea would be too get dropped off a certain distance from your house.
Then you have a destination.

Plan your first walk. It's time.

Think through what may go wrong .

(Mrs nosey at 2535 for example, or a dog)

What will you feel while you do it?
Thoughts,anxiety will increase. You may feel the urge to panic.

In a forceful,inner voice say:

STOP THE CAR. I'M DRIVING

It's a way of forging a new habit of thought, a habit trick.

Like chance using "can you juggle"

Along with the other good advice here - let's get to the reality of you planning your first walk.
You could do it here.

Imagine, after the walk - just before you go into the house -

STOP THE CAR. I'M DRIVING

Turn around, feel that outside in, for a little bit longer.
Think I'm in control - "I can"

 

[Progster]

If I'm in a new environment, I acclimatise myself slowly to it - I walk to the end of the road (a point within sight of the hotel or house or wherever I am, and keep doing that until I get used to it and it becomes familiar, then I walk a bit further, get used to that, and so on, until my environment becomes familiar. I'm usually ok with new places as long as I don't lose sight of where I came from and lose my bearings - it helps to keep looking back at where I came. I always do this, it's reasuring. Google street map helps, too.

 

[trustwaves]

All thought is a tool.
We can either be used by it or learn to use it.

Can you guess which word from your quote I'm concentrating on?

If we define ourselves in a negative way it is like being driven through life.
We don't control our situation.

(Yes the word was "can't')

STOP THE CAR. I'M DRIVING.

Learn a new habit, say this when you notice the negative.

One idea would be too get dropped off a certain distance from your house.
Then you have a destination.

Plan your first walk. It's time.

Think through what may go wrong .

(Mrs nosey at 2535 for example, or a dog)

What will you feel while you do it?
Thoughts,anxiety will increase. You may feel the urge to panic.

In a forceful,inner voice say:

STOP THE CAR. I'M DRIVING

It's a way of forging a new habit of thought, a habit trick.

Like chance using "can you juggle"

Along with the other good advice here - let's get to the reality of you planning your first walk.
You could do it here.

Imagine, after the walk - just before you go into the house -

STOP THE CAR. I'M DRIVING

Turn around, feel that outside in, for a little bit longer.
Think I'm in control - "I can"

I love this! I just have to keep telling myself positive affirmations

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I love this! I just have to keep telling myself positive affirmations

Yes. Pick your own.

Or use mine

STOP THE CAR. I'M DRIVING

 

[Chance]

So I suffer from pretty bad separation anxiety and social anxiety. I can be alone, I sometimes enjoy it BUT I can't leave the house alone or be independent.
It's been like this for years and I'm just stuck in my room trying to relax and distract myself. Does anyone have any ideas on how I could go for little walks on my own?? Xx

In all these great posts I would like to add one more thing I thought of... IF you can just do any form of simple exercises (inside or outside)... Like jumping jacks, jogging in place, even "pretend" lifting weights...
If you can just raise your heart rate for at least 6 minutes... Your brain is FORCED to release Endorphins... Endorphins "Happy Juice" dilute the other stress chemicals... So IF your mind is on getting better and you are concentrating on the positive effects of this... It HAS TO relieve the anxiety... However, if you have to get in a mental place to where you BELIEVE this is going to work... It sounds easy but its not easy to get up and do something when you are stripped of all your belief and energy...

It takes "activation energy", and that isn't easy to come by when we have no energy. The truth is this has to be mostly forced, but the relief (ONCE FELT) becomes worth the sheer hell it feels like to get there. After a while it gets easier and then before we know it we get lax and quit and guess what shows back up? And it will until we reach this place where our bodies get used to the new chemicals and start wanting those chemicals instead of the bad ones we so easily give it... : )

They say it takes 21 days to make the switch work... I have to be honest, I have never made it that far YET... But I am trying it again right now and I am on day 4 of a mental battle to where I am purposely trying to convert every negative thought that I recognize into a positive, or AT LEAST NEUTRAL thought...

It takes lots of effort at times to STOP and figure out what you are thinking about. I may catch myself trying to tie 12 different thoughts all together at the same time... and I think to myself, good grief no wonder I get wiped out and half crazy... I just try and shut each one down as I can realize it...

Just the slightest change in the perception of the thoughts we catch, changes the chemicals coursing through our veins that are turning into electrical current which is the ENERGY our bodies run on... The quality of those chemicals reveal the quality of energy we have to work with.

I know this is so different, and on a level that no one really discusses, but that's where I always find myself on this be it physical, mental, or even spiritual... It's part of the core of how we work, live, move, think, and manage these meatsuits while we use them to become the best version of who we can be...

It's not about prosperity, or competition, or status... It's just about us overcoming ourselves to the best we can... Each one of us are unthinkably stronger than we can even imagine. Sadly it is so much easier to be negative then it is to be positive, which makes this seem impossible when it's not impossible at all, just a challenge, no harder then just saying, "I am going to walk out that door and I am going to be okay!"

No one is going to lock you out, you can go back in, or you can stay out as long as you say you can...
It's not just a thought... Its a command... YOU ARE THE CAPTAIN of your mind, yet we feel so defeated and don't often have a real reason as to why... I get very depressed very easy. I have been this way all my life, but I cant let "I HAVE Been THIS WAY ALL MY LIFE" RULE my thoughts... I instead have to say and believe that other people have overcome this, so I have that same opportunity also...

Simply because we thought ourselves into a negative situation, that we have come to believe, there is NOTHING saying we have to stay in that process... It eventually boils down to choices we don't even realize we are making, that equal chemicals we aren't aware of, that sums up reactions that aren't how we were designed to function... and its now all science and proven fact which goes into my little logical head way better than just hope which is nothing more than a beggar.

Yet in all this, I may fall all to pieces in a few days and feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world... But that is where I have get back up and try again and again and hopefully at some point I will overcome some of it and be working on the next big issue in my life...

We want sunshine and champagne, but in our struggles is where we become rulers over our reality. : )

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

to where I am purposely trying to convert every negative thought that I recognize into a positive, or AT LEAST NEUTRAL thought...

No conversion needed.

Let them go

 

[Chance]

No conversion needed.

Let them go

But they are pesky little thoughts that often become giants that sometimes intrude unwanted...
I would love to let them go... It's just they don't want to leave sometimes, and that is my situation that I have to overcome. I know it can be done, just not sure how, when I cant figure out how they sneak in my head so easy. : )

Like I will mess up... and suddenly I'm seeing me at 7 years old hearing some things that should NEVER be said to anyone at any age... I guess I believed it, and now it turns into some head war... It sucks because it becomes that giant equalling a lot of other things that should have never been said or happened. I just need little wins every now and then... We all do... : )

 

[Streetwise]

But they are pesky little thoughts that often become giants that sometimes intrude unwanted...
I would love to let them go... It's just they don't want to leave sometimes, and that is my situation that I have to overcome. I know it can be done, just not sure how, when I cant figure out how they sneak in my head so easy. : )

Like I will mess up... and suddenly I'm seeing me at 7 years old hearing some things that should NEVER be said to anyone at any age... I guess I believed it, and now it turns into some head war... It sucks because it becomes that giant equalling a lot of other things that should have never been said or happened. I just need little wins every now and then... We all do... : )

i know you dont like panic attacks but let yourself panic it can be very liberating,i did this morning- you become very clear in perceiving sensory stimulus .
definitely not stopping medicines abruptly helps a lot -what the nurses said to @SusanLR is good!