Anxiety and AS Self-Diagnosis

[Sab]

Hi! I’m going through a period of high anxiety and am trying to find ways to take care of myself. One of the things that have been on my mind lately is the possibility of being on the spectrum. It just makes a whole lot of sense to me but is a lot of new information to process. That has been taking up a lot of space in my brain and I was wondering if any of you discovered later on in life that you were on the spectrum and how that felt or how you managed that new information. It feels pretty vulnerable for me right now. I am also finding it hard to find validity in identifying more and more with being on the spectrum without having an official diagnosis. I wonder if anybody here self-diagnosed themselves and how they went about it, and about talking to their friends/family about it – or even how it changed their relationship to themselves. I just don’t really know how to handle all of it. At first it felt like a big relief but sometimes I get really anxious because I’m unsure of how to talk about it with the people around me (or if it’s even a good time to talk about it). Have any of you had a similar reaction to discovering you were on the spectrum/may be on the spectrum? Thanks for reading me

 

[clg114]

Welcome to AutismForums!

 

[Tom]

Lots of people here self diagnosed late in life. 40's, 50's, 60's and beyond even. Just so you know, Anxiety is super common among people on the spectrum. I would not tell anyone except your most trusted family/friend of your suspicion. People tend to use labels against you. You might try some of the free online self tests. Continue your research.

 

[Sab]

Lots of people here self diagnosed late in life. 40's, 50's, 60's and beyond even. Just so you know, Anxiety is super common among people on the spectrum. I would not tell anyone except your most trusted family/friend of your suspicion. People tend to use labels against you. You might try some of the free online self tests. Continue your research.

Thanks for your advice! Yeah, I've done a few online tests but apparently it's not enough for me to feel valid...

 

[Autistamatic]

Hi Sab
If you're not going to seek diagnosis professionally then do your research thoroughly. Just be aware that no employer, insurance company or government department will take self diagnosis as valid, but that may not be a concern to you.
Think carefully about who to discuss it with before you do, especially if you are uncertain. Not everyone takes it as well or as constructively as you hope they will.
Good luck anyway, and I hope being on here helps you with some clarity

 

[Pats]

Hi! I’m going through a period of high anxiety and am trying to find ways to take care of myself. One of the things that have been on my mind lately is the possibility of being on the spectrum. It just makes a whole lot of sense to me but is a lot of new information to process. That has been taking up a lot of space in my brain and I was wondering if any of you discovered later on in life that you were on the spectrum and how that felt or how you managed that new information. It feels pretty vulnerable for me right now. I am also finding it hard to find validity in identifying more and more with being on the spectrum without having an official diagnosis. I wonder if anybody here self-diagnosed themselves and how they went about it, and about talking to their friends/family about it – or even how it changed their relationship to themselves. I just don’t really know how to handle all of it. At first it felt like a big relief but sometimes I get really anxious because I’m unsure of how to talk about it with the people around me (or if it’s even a good time to talk about it). Have any of you had a similar reaction to discovering you were on the spectrum/may be on the spectrum? Thanks for reading me

Lots are self diagnosed. Lots learned about it later in life. I was 58 when diagnosed and now 60. As far as the relationship with yourself, I was much more accepting of myself.
When I first started realizing I read a lot of articles and watched videos of autism in adults and female autism/aspergers. The more I read, the more convinced I was. I talked to those closest to me. My sons first reactions were that, yes, they could see that. My siblings on the other hand was determined I was not. Even my oldest sister that I used to try to talk about how I felt - being in a box, not wanting to be found out, not being able to get out of my car when traveling alone, etc. The reason I chose to get a professional diagnosis was for my kids and grandkids. I read so many instances where once their child or grandchild was diagnosed they realized they were, too. I know, at least 2 of my children and 1 of my grandchildren are without question on the spectrum but had there not been a diagnosis somewhere they would never have considered it.

 

[Pats]

Thanks for your advice! Yeah, I've done a few online tests but apparently it's not enough for me to feel valid...

I was the same way. I had my son and my daughter in law also take the test and my son scored about the same as I did and my daughter in law scored very low.

 

[TSN]

Hi! I’m going through a period of high anxiety and am trying to find ways to take care of myself. One of the things that have been on my mind lately is the possibility of being on the spectrum. It just makes a whole lot of sense to me but is a lot of new information to process. That has been taking up a lot of space in my brain and I was wondering if any of you discovered later on in life that you were on the spectrum and how that felt or how you managed that new information. It feels pretty vulnerable for me right now. I am also finding it hard to find validity in identifying more and more with being on the spectrum without having an official diagnosis. I wonder if anybody here self-diagnosed themselves and how they went about it, and about talking to their friends/family about it – or even how it changed their relationship to themselves. I just don’t really know how to handle all of it. At first it felt like a big relief but sometimes I get really anxious because I’m unsure of how to talk about it with the people around me (or if it’s even a good time to talk about it). Have any of you had a similar reaction to discovering you were on the spectrum/may be on the spectrum? Thanks for reading me

 

[Peter Morrison]

Sorry about the anxiety. My anxiety is a traffic jam in my head making any kind of progress impossible and grossly unpleasant. The truth is that realizing you are on the spectrum brings explanations of your actions and feelings. Revisiting the memorable events of your life become rearranged because you now have an explanation for your decisions, emotions, and behavior. Dealing with them without being blindsided by them is now a task.

I suggest that you not take this moment of emotional chaos as seriously as you feel you have to. It's a lot of information to process. I think of the brain as a conglomeration of city streets. Some are dead ends, roundabouts, on and off ramps, freeways, slow zones, and ess curves. It's hard to manage when you are trying to manage all of it at once. Pull back, give yourself permission to reduce the pressure to get an answer to all of it now. As time progresses, you will discover revelations relating to your condition.

All of us on the spectrum deal with the same basic issues, each to varying degrees and importance. I am self-diagnosed and have confirmation from the on-line tests and my life experiences. It doesn't change anything, but I now understand the forces at work making me the way I am. Life has had some very difficult moments - trauma, drama, indecision, and bad decision. I can understand myself better by acknowledging these ASD influences, but I am still the same person.

Stress of any kind is harmful. Try to reduce the stress by adding peaceful moments to your days and weeks. Be good to yourself.

 

[TSN]

Hi. I would recommend reading a fair amount on the subject then arrange for a GP appointment. They should then arrange for you to see a mental health specialist who will investigate your traits and issues more closely. After this, they may then refer you for a diagnosis.

 

[Sab]

Lots are self diagnosed. Lots learned about it later in life. I was 58 when diagnosed and now 60. As far as the relationship with yourself, I was much more accepting of myself.
When I first started realizing I read a lot of articles and watched videos of autism in adults and female autism/aspergers. The more I read, the more convinced I was. I talked to those closest to me. My sons first reactions were that, yes, they could see that. My siblings on the other hand was determined I was not. Even my oldest sister that I used to try to talk about how I felt - being in a box, not wanting to be found out, not being able to get out of my car when traveling alone, etc. The reason I chose to get a professional diagnosis was for my kids and grandkids. I read so many instances where once their child or grandchild was diagnosed they realized they were, too. I know, at least 2 of my children and 1 of my grandchildren are without question on the spectrum but had there not been a diagnosis somewhere they would never have considered it.

Hey pats, thanks so much for responding to my post.

Sorry about the anxiety. My anxiety is a traffic jam in my head making any kind of progress impossible and grossly unpleasant. The truth is that realizing you are on the spectrum brings explanations of your actions and feelings. Revisiting the memorable events of your life become rearranged because you now have an explanation for your decisions, emotions, and behavior. Dealing with them without being blindsided by them is now a task.

I suggest that you not take this moment of emotional chaos as seriously as you feel you have to. It's a lot of information to process. I think of the brain as a conglomeration of city streets. Some are dead ends, roundabouts, on and off ramps, freeways, slow zones, and ess curves. It's hard to manage when you are trying to manage all of it at once. Pull back, give yourself permission to reduce the pressure to get an answer to all of it now. As time progresses, you will discover revelations relating to your condition.

All of us on the spectrum deal with the same basic issues, each to varying degrees and importance. I am self-diagnosed and have confirmation from the on-line tests and my life experiences. It doesn't change anything, but I now understand the forces at work making me the way I am. Life has had some very difficult moments - trauma, drama, indecision, and bad decision. I can understand myself better by acknowledging these ASD influences, but I am still the same person.

Stress of any kind is harmful. Try to reduce the stress by adding peaceful moments to your days and weeks. Be good to yourself.

Hi Peter, thanks a lot for your kind advice. It was really helpful. I do have a tendency to want to figure out EVERYTHING NOW, and think it would be important for me to be gentle with myself and take my time to process all of it.

 

[tducey]

Welcome to the forum. People here are very helpful. As to anxiety, I find talking to people helps with mine.

 

[WereBear]

Yeah, I've done a few online tests but apparently it's not enough for me to feel valid...

One of the great things about realizing I am on the spectrum is how such externalities DO NOT MATTER.

This is about you: how you cope with things, what you'd like to do with your life, what your challenges and strengths are. So you are the only to see what strategies work, how it changes your thoughts, how best to proceed.

I became aware when I did an article on autism and someone mentioned that, as a special education teacher, I had actually explained it in "autism terms." But I still didn't think anything of it until I read "The Journal of Best Practices" and his getting dressed for work routine was so much like mine.

When I started scoring high on online tests my brain exclaimed, "This explains so much!"

Because really, who scores high on such tests except people on the spectrum? Isn't that why it is a test? Especially since I had to drive three hours away to find someone with expertise I trusted, then the insurance company who told me to get it refused to pay!

Explore this on your own as much as you want. We can help. And I got NOTHING from my official diagnosis: no job protections, no help, I'm not going to be considered "disabled" no matter how much I drag myself to work and develop autoimmune disorders as a result of the stress.

I'm going to have to do this by myself anyway.