Any aspies with experience in social-focused careers?

[Jorge_lou]

I wanted to know how you deal with this and how much it consumes you. From what I've read in the forum, there are some teachers here for instance and dealing with children and work authority may be a burden (acutally, I find it very easy to communicate with children, but I know it can be hard for some).

From my point of view, as a journalist, I have to admit social contact is very stressful. Ever since I was a kid, I was in love with the idea of writing and picked journalism because of that. The only problem is that I had completly ignored the fact that I would have to deal with strangers MANY times (and I have always being the kind of person that would do my best to avoid social interactions).

I'm 29 and I'm thinking of changing my career. Maybe focus on academic research regarding Communication and Media, but not actual journalism anymore. I've done many things to maintain control in social interactions: writing a script of all I'll have to say and memorizing it, make mental notes to look at the other person's eyes from time to time, memorize possible answers have an easy way out.

In the end, I finish my days feeling extremely worn out. And since journalism is a very fast paced occupation, I can't turn my mind off from work. I'm always rehearsing possible dialogues for the following days and adapting it every time things change. From my experience, I learned that people are very predictable if you know them enough (it helps).

Still, I don't think I'll remain on this career for much longer. I have this feeling my life won't last long if I do. Too much social interaction, stress, extra hours and sleepless nights. And the whole thing makes my life much harder, affecting my eating habits and general mental health.

 

[Myway]

I work in production at a small company that is very social. I find that I am exhausted by the end of the day and it is a little overwhelming at times. But I am working on getting my Accounting degree so I don't have to socialize as much. I can just focus on numbers and figures.

 

[KyRN]

I'm a nurse and work is exhausting, trying to figure out if I'm coming off as, "caring," but, "professional," at the same time. I have difficulty with having a social job too, and having to figure out how to judge someone's level of knowledge or intelligence so I can relay information about patients can be a nightmare. I come home from work and have to shut down, but im pretty good about not fixating on how the day's social interactions went. I feel your pain I've thought about changing jobs too, but I'm a really good nurse so idk.

 

[AsheSkyler]

My main job usually ends up with me in my office with a person or a couple, rarely three or more, and I can control my interactions to some degree. Strangely, the less taxing days are the ones where I'm worked half to death so my anxiety doesn't have time to catch up to me.

 

[Judge]

Still, I don't think I'll remain on this career for much longer. I have this feeling my life won't last long if I do. Too much social interaction, stress, extra hours and sleepless nights. And the whole thing makes my life much harder, affecting my eating habits and general mental health.

Yes. Listen to your own instincts. They will serve you well. I spent far too many years in an occupation that evolved into a marketing job. Something I was not properly suited for and I always knew it. It must have taken years off my life. I should have left earlier than I did.

 

[clg114]

Yes. Listen to your own instincts. They will serve you well. I spent far too many years in an occupation that evolved into a marketing job. Something I was not properly suited for and I always knew it. It must have taken years off my life. I should have left earlier than I did.

I agree 100%. I should have started working on my own years before I did. I thought about it, customers said they would hire me, but I just did not do it. Now I am kicking myself because I waited so long. I could have been a lot further ahead. Very good advice, Judge. Listen to and trust your instincts.

 

[Kari Suttle]

I work part time (almost full time) as a cashier at a really busy grocery store while putting myself through college. Its definetally one of the worst jobs for an aspie for a reason - too much social interaction, sensory overload issues, etc. But while i feel completely alone there cause everyone ignores me and the customers don't even reply to my scripted but well meaning greetings half the time...the supervisors are decent to nice depending on the individual. Sometimes i wonder if they suspect i'm an aspie or at least suspect some of the aspie behaviors but who knows.

Its so taxing and makes me feel exhausted at the end of the day and makes my many mental health issues worse cause i never feel like i'm good enough at my job. I'm the person that even if i only get compliments one day i'll still find something in my performance that day that wasn't good enough and be down about it.

 

[JuniperBug]

I'm a teacher and dealing with the kids is easy. It's admin and co teachers I have trouble with. So to compensate I constantly smile and try to come off as cheerful and pleasant at all times.

I do have an issue with feeling secretly angry at others who express anger or tiredness or frustration because I'm hiding all that for their benefit but they're not doing the same for me.

I need to not judge people like that though.

 

[Jorge_lou]

Yes. Listen to your own instincts. They will serve you well. I spent far too many years in an occupation that evolved into a marketing job. Something I was not properly suited for and I always knew it. It must have taken years off my life. I should have left earlier than I did.

My therapist said something very similar yesterday. Thanks for the advice. My diagnosis is pretty close and I'm very likely an aspie, according to my doctor. I'll use it on my favor to change my lifestyle.

The only obstacle I have right now is money. I'm at a good position, I'm married and I plan to have kids in the next few years. I can't rely on my family because they are really short or money, so I'll have to figure my change out in a way it doesn't impact my income that much.

But I've decided I can't go on like this. If I live in jobs like this for too long, I won't take it. It's too consuming.

 

[Naturalist]

I'm a teacher and dealing with the kids is easy. It's admin and co teachers I have trouble with. So to compensate I constantly smile and try to come off as cheerful and pleasant at all times.

I do have an issue with feeling secretly angry at others who express anger or tiredness or frustration because I'm hiding all that for their benefit but they're not doing the same for me.

I need to not judge people like that though.

I have experienced this, too. Only I teach at the college level, so the students are more like adults who aren't always very reliable or communicative, which causes me a lot of stress. I try to be very pleasant--I'm actually very afraid of saying things that are offensive or confrontational, or even things that could be misinterpreted by others--but sometimes I get very angry about things others do or say. For example I get really angry when the students don't communicate to me that they will not attend a workshop session, or when they come in wearing perfume / cologne even though it's on the syllabus not to do so because it gives me migraines. I am good at my job, the program I started is innovative and it's getting lots of positive reception but I am beginning to wonder whether I am really cut out for it. I have decided that I need to take an assertiveness training so that I can deal with people better, and if that does not work I will look at a career change in the next few years.

If you can identify a skill you can develop which might improve your ability to cope at work, try to take a course or video seminar or read a self-help manual, then give yourself several months to develop and use your new strategies. If your stress is the same or worse, it's definitely time to move on...

 

[anon2621]

I work part time (almost full time) as a cashier at a really busy grocery store while putting myself through college. Its definetally one of the worst jobs for an aspie for a reason - too much social interaction, sensory overload issues, etc. But while i feel completely alone there cause everyone ignores me and the customers don't even reply to my scripted but well meaning greetings half the time...the supervisors are decent to nice depending on the individual. Sometimes i wonder if they suspect i'm an aspie or at least suspect some of the aspie behaviors but who knows.

Its so taxing and makes me feel exhausted at the end of the day and makes my many mental health issues worse cause i never feel like i'm good enough at my job. I'm the person that even if i only get compliments one day i'll still find something in my performance that day that wasn't good enough and be down about it.

I currently work part time in concession for a movie theater. I agree, it's a tough job for people on the spectrum because of the social aspect. However, I chose this job on purpose in order to improve my social skills.

 

[Butterfly88]

I'm studying social sciences, though hopefully my job won't be too social. I hope to work with developmentally disabled adults. I find it easier to talk to people with developmental delays because they talk slower. It's my coworkers I'm worried about.

 

[ChurchTheArtist]

I have done many cashier jobs, worked in a deli resaurant, been a graphic designer many places, taught adults in college and 6-8 th grade art, managed a small town print shop, did security at a retirement home and lots of things in between. It almost always had a heavy social aspect. I am currently freelancing art and graphic design and the story is always the same- I like the job a lot, but I would like it more if I didn't have to deal with the people.

It seems to me the most exhausting part is having to go further than "meeting halfway" when it comes to customers. I would have a customer say something like "you didn't send me the files like you stated you would" and I would have to babysit their logic (because thinking is hard) and remind them "I said I would send the files when I got home today and I'm just now getting in. I never promised a time and told you I was out of town." Then I would tell them I don't appreciate the passive aggressive accusation and they go ballistic about how dare I call their attitude into question.

Same customer emailed me saying "I need you to send me this file before 1:00 today!" And he sent this email at 12:49 and was mad that I didn't have an 11 minute response time.

This kind of stuff wears me out! I quit my job to live on the land a little because I got tired of being treated worse than a janitor every day for 1/3 the money I am qualified for. I would then get home and be so mentally drained from it all that I didn't even have the energy to watch a movie; I would just sit quietly and try to let the barrage of hateful attitudes roll off my shoulders. Then my family wants to know why I haven't spent more time finishing my own projects in what spare time I had(have). "You have a couple of days a week! Why haven't you finished your book or built a video game or learned to program or started your business?"

People don't realize how tiring it is to listen to them all complain about how tired you are of listening to them complain. And everyone seems to be all for asking to get paid more money but they don't want to pay me a dollar because I'm an artist and to them, I'm not worth paying.

So tiring... Yes... The number one cause of all negative emotions, frustration, angst, anxiety and depression in my life is dealing with masses of people who have no greater purpose than to be selfish.

 

[Aeolienne]

From my point of view, as a journalist, I have to admit social contact is very stressful. Ever since I was a kid, I was in love with the idea of writing and picked journalism because of that. The only problem is that I had completly ignored the fact that I would have to deal with strangers MANY times (and I have always being the kind of person that would do my best to avoid social interactions).

Which is why I was a bit surprised to see journalism mentioned by Temple Grandin as a suitable career choice for Aspies, for no better reason than it can be done freelance. I would have thought that's not an option until you've clocked up a good few years of experience, or have the fortitude to cope with rejection.

 

[Mr Allen]

Over the last 20 odd years I've pretty much made a career of working in nearly every Charity shop in Sheffield.

Serving customers on the till is about as social as you can get.

 

[Lysander]

I have worked trail construction, habitat restoration, horse grooming, retail, and fast food. Even as a petite female, I can honestly say that I was less drained from the long hikes and heavy equipment involved in trail management than I was from serving customers.

There's also a lot of acting involved with coworkers too, but that's harder to avoid.