Any younger members (~25-) feel this way?

[Qoyote]

The whole maturity thing sucks sometimes. I'm online, I see someone's account, I feel like we'd click (personality, interests, etc), I go to start talking... then I remember she's 16 and I'm supposed to be 20. Like I have to consciously remind myself every time that we're at different life stages.

I'm maturing, I'm definitely different than I was this time last year, but there's still a big part of me that's like 10 under the mask and sometimes it wants to be free. Online I've found autistic high school girls are by far the most likely to feel the same way and I've always identified more with girls anyway. Childish boys/men also make me hate myself when I see them but girls/women don't.

But you see a 20-year-old "man" message a 16-year-old girl, he's a creep trying to get laid. That's what I'd think if that's all I knew.

I know a lot of you are way older than me and I don't know how much you can help, but for those who aren't, does anyone else get what I'm saying? Do I sound like a creep?

 

[Gerontius]

The fact that you recognize the appearance of creeping means that you are far less likely to be, in actual fact, a Creep.
What I would do in your shoes is trying to redirect the desire for the childlike quality, to yourself. You have a perception of your self as having a hidden child - self who wants to spend time sharing his own interests and little joys with the world of his peers (in mental age at least.)

What I would do is take this inner personality and instead of eradicating him, integrate this aspect of yourself more seamlessly with the "visible you" of the world of grown-ups.
By this I think you would find peace in more age-appropriate social settings (imagine having that childlike wonder and awe in any setting you find other adults enjoying -- they will, if they are mature enough to be in touch with their own inner child personalities, find your company both enjoyable and reinvigorating.)

Least I think this worked ok for me. Hope you find it helpful even if you get good from it by disagreeing with it. Good luck and never lose your sense of awe and wonder.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

OK, I'm going to ask the obligatory old geezer question before somebody else does. What about the age you identify with? Geezers my age had their musical tastes fossilize in their teens (yuck). Mine came significally later, though I like groups like The Lumineers or the Decemberists.

 

[Jordy]

As long as you talk to 20 year old woman by the time you are 24 i am sure you are going to be fine. I think i would also get along better with people that are couple years younger than me, but i am ashamed of this so i don't attempt.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Im 40+ and for some topics I connect better with my daugther than with my wife...

And when I go to a friends house to play some board game, if any child is there I tend to ignore my friends to socialize and play with the children...

I still enjoy more anime series, movies and videogames targeted for teens than those for adults (like avatar 1 vs avatar 2)...

So yeah, it rings a bell.

 

[Crossbreed]

It really depends on the context of the connection.
When I am here or on other forums, the context is autism, action dolls, etc.
In those shared contexts, I can talk to anyone (male, female, young & old) without my motives being questioned.

It is only when there is no defining context that someone might question otherwise.

 

[Knower of nothing]

I find this happens too. I age, my interests remain static, the age of people into my interests remains static. I'm in a community that discusses anime and it's mostly highschool and college students just as it was 10 years ago when I was on the younger side in the same community. It feels like being subtly told to move on sometimes ahha. I still fit in on the maturity and interest level, but not once the topic shifts to school (which is quite common for younger folk anywhere). Nor do I fit into the handful of older misfits as they talk about work or family haha. It's truly outcast-status. Doesn't stop you from making friends though.

 

[Irakus34]

Having been on the other side, a really young person who talked to older people constantly because his inner self is way older than his body says, under my opinion, if you're perfectly aware of which the boundaries are, the age of the person you're talking to and the image you don't want to look like, I guess you'll definitely not become a creep, at least to the person you're maintaining a chat with.

Said this, I'd also recommend to find a valid version of yourself combining all your aspects so you won't feel somehow restraining your true self. Explore how you can express this part of yourself. At the very beginning I said I always talk to older people, but I also have a childish version of myself where I do look like a 5yo because of how I move my hands, how my voice sounds like or how I react. I used to hate and hide it because I wasn't already a kid, but that just led me to live in constant control of myself, which provoked a lot of burnouts.

Following my previous advice, I unmasked it eventually, still feeling kinda off sometimes when I do that out of my house, but somehow expressing this side makes me feel realer. And surprisingly, some people even liked it actually. If you feel comfortable by talking to these girls, just respect them and everything will be okay. Stay with whom you feel okay and safe.

Hope this may help you.