Anybody lied about having a boy/girlfriend when you were younger?

[Misty Avich]

I feel so ashamed. When I was in my late teens I felt so lonely and longed for a boyfriend, that I actually pretended I was going out with this guy I knew on the bus I rode regularly (I really liked him and we often chatted but he was married). I told my family we were in a sort of on/off relationship, and I'd write out texts on my phone then pretend they were from him and showed my family. I was so convincing, that they believed me with no suspicions whatever. This guy was real by the way and I did chat to him and he's been on the bus a couple of times when I've been with my mum, so she knew he existed.
I also made up that he wasn't married but had an ex-wife who was causing trouble and was jealous, so that was why I didn't see him much, although I made out he came to our house a couple of times when my family weren't in, and I even bought myself flowers to make it look like he had given me flowers. If I hadn't seen him riding the bus for some time I'd get upset but then reassure myself by writing fake texts from him saying he is just busy and will be on the bus again soon. That actually made me happy.

Although it's years later and I am married (not to him, to a different, genuine guy) and my family have more or less forgotten the extent of my imaginary relationship, I still feel kinda guilty for fooling my family into thinking I was actually seeing this guy. I feel embarrassed to tell them the truth even though it's like 15 years later.

If you've seen the old TV drama Grange Hill you'd notice that this sort of behaviour can go on in teenagers. It's called fantasising. Only I'm lucky I didn't get caught out. I guess I was just lonely at the time and wanted some sort of excitement in my life.

Has anyone else done anything like this? I wouldn't do anything like that now. Please don't diagnose me with psychosis or DID though. I never heard of DID until a few months ago when I listened to an audiobook about a girl with DID (it was a true story) and it frightened me. It was like reading the exorcist or something.
I guess my issue was social isolation coupled with depression. I knew what I was doing. I just got a bit carried away fantasising, plus I was immature like most teenagers are.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I did the opposite, pretending I didn't have a girlfriend when I did for some reason. Not sure why but it seemed embarrassing to admit at the time.

 

[Misty Avich]

I did the opposite, pretending I didn't have a girlfriend when I did for some reason. Not sure why but it seemed embarrassing to admit at the time.

That sounds quite normal.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I feel your pain. I was so very ashamed that no girl/woman valued me that as a teen I lied about having a girlfriend. I never understood the banter of my male peers, though once got into serious trouble because I still had respect for girls. One guy talking about having sex with a girl I knew mocked her for her small breasts. I could not understand why he would do this to somebody who opened herself to him, accepting him, that I was arrested for severely assaulting him. At that age I never felt so accepted and so fantacised about having a girlfriend

My roomate at University was so concerned about my social anxiety and poor social skills that he took me to see a staff psychiatrist. When he questioned me, trying to measure my deficits, and the question of dating came up, I was so very ashamed at my inexperience that I lied about having dated, though at 21 I never went on a date. I was a mess and probably my mental health was poor. I never wanted anybody prying into my lack of a social life so I probably lied more to deflect than to deceive.

 

[Suzanne]

To be honest, no, because I never even considered I was good enough for a boyfriend.

However, when I was 16, I did take a fancy to a boy in my school, but sadly, he had his eye on my "best friend". Oh and I did rather like my next door neighbour's son. I kept it quiet, but another young neighbour, managed to get it out of me how I felt and that was before I was 16, because he found me cute and treated me as such, which made me angry lol

Now, what I used to fake, was being ill, because the only time, we were treated like humans, by "mother", was when we were ill and so, I concluded in my heart, that I must be ill in order to receive love. Even remember an uncomfortable time, when I was playing outside with my brother and I was quick to notice he was not well and tried very hard to cover it up; even attempting doctoring on him lol, but he was so ill, that the parents got to know and that was that for me.

It took me to be married to a man who believes one does not have to be ill. It is mostly in the mind, to hate being ill, because when I was, he treated me not too kindly ie look, I do have a life, besides you being ill. So, now have no desire to be ill and do all I can to not be ill.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I did this a few times as an adult to my dad. He kept pressuring me to get a girlfriend which isn’t going to happen as I’m gay. I managed to avoid him meeting these “girlfriends” by giving them highly demanding jobs that caused them to have long work hours that change weekly such as ER nurse or waitress at a 24 hour restaurant.

 

[tree]

No.

My mother suggested I pretend to have a boyfriend
when I was 12, and the other girls were talking about
their boyfriends. She thought "Hymie Goldfinch" wd
be a good name and he should be from another town.

No, thanks.

I had real friends who were boys: Dexter and Tommy
and Steve. They were friends who happened to be boys, not
romantic interests.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Never had a girlfriend until I met my wife, for some reason many girls approached me from grade nine up knowing what they saw looking back now makes sense, strange, good-looking guy obviously bright, great potential. The Clint Eastwood effect quiet mysterious,

 

[MildredHubble]

"Hymie Goldfinch"

That's a real winner of a name! They sound like a dashing adventurer and quite possibly very rich

I did pretend to have met a girl once in a while. I didn't really pretend to be in a relationship though. My main motivation for pretending was that I might be bullied less if I seemed to be getting some romantic attention. Of course I didn't manage to be very persuasive with my fibbing so I quickly stopped doing that. I was just as inept as ever at knowing how to make a convincing story/scenario.

On one occasion when I was about 13 I did meet a girl who "fancied" me who was a friend of my cousins. I was way too shy and nervous though. So my last fib in this context was to pretend that I had been confident. My kid brain made me think that it was ok to omit the fact that I had been too shy so I said I was "going out" with her, only to be asked her name. It suddenly occurred to me I didn't know her name, so I made one up and it certainly wasn't as inspired as "Hymie Goldfinch", much to the amusement of my "friends".

 

[Forest Cat]

Don't feel ashamed, you were a teenager and felt very lonely. Lots of people have done much weirder and worse things.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I had a stock "exaggeration" about my one sort-of girlfriend from high school to deflect people from learning I had no interest in any sort of physical intimacy. Being highly touch-averse, I couldn't imagine being in any close relationship.
I say sort-of girlfriend because she clearly referred to me as her boyfriend, and because I respected her I tried to honor her feelings. We never dated as such. We only hung around together at our Church youth group events. When I went to college, she wrote me once, and I wrote back, and no more letters followed. During my first break back home, I heard she had gotten married to one of my high school classmates.
So when asked if I had a girlfriend in college and later in the Air Force, my standard reply was that my girlfriend dumped me when I went to college, and I hadn't met Ms Right yet.

 

[Aspychata]

I never pretended because l was more into sports. I had a guy try to kiss me walking me home in jr high, and l got home and was sooo upset. I was physically sick, when l saw a high school couple making out in the stairwell at my HS. Oh boy, l was very awkward and backwards socially when it came to guys. Just had zero interest in romance.

 

[Misty Avich]

Don't feel ashamed, you were a teenager and felt very lonely. Lots of people have done much weirder and worse things.

This is a good perspective. Plus I have lived and learnt.

This isn't to do with lying about having a partner, but I can remember a time when I was about 6, I was behaving naughty while my mother was trying to fix a door of a cabinet. She shouted at me loudly, and I didn't like her shouting, so I decided to be ironic and make out there was the man from next door at the front door, and the plan was for her to say "what's he want?" and me to say "he's telling you not to shout!" But instead she let go of the cabinet door (which then broke off) to go to the front door (still angry) before I had the chance to tell her that I was just being ironic. I knew she wouldn't be pleased that I made up a lie like that, and I braced myself for what happened next. When she saw there was nobody there and yelled that the cabinet was broke now because of me, she spanked me TWICE and sent me upstairs to my room.*
I guess I had brought all that on myself for being naughty and for lying. But I didn't like exactly, I was being ironic and I thought she'd cotton on. So much for NTs not taking things literally.

*She wasn't a bad parent for spanking me, as it was common in those days and it did often make me learn my lesson. Sometimes spanking can teach a kid more than words can, or quicker at least.

 

[The Pandector]

Yes. I liked a girl but had never had a girlfriend. To appear marriageable at 13, I invented my girlfriend Prunella, who was always being teased about her name. She was fine with ‘Pru’.

I honestly did learn a lot about honesty, and thereafter only liked girls who noticed me first. I haven’t had many girlfriends.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I feel your pain. I was so very ashamed that no girl/woman valued me that as a teen I lied about having a girlfriend. I never understood the banter of my male peers, though once got into serious trouble because I still had respect for girls. One guy talking about having sex with a girl I knew mocked her for her small breasts. I could not understand why he would do this to somebody who opened herself to him, accepting him, that I was arrested for severely assaulting him. At that age I never felt so accepted and so fantacised about having a girlfriend

My roomate at University was so concerned about my social anxiety and poor social skills that he took me to see a staff psychiatrist. When he questioned me, trying to measure my deficits, and the question of dating came up, I was so very ashamed at my inexperience that I lied about having dated, though at 21 I never went on a date. I was a mess and probably my mental health was poor. I never wanted anybody prying into my lack of a social life so I probably lied more to deflect than to deceive.

I am now recognizing that insecurities created by the inability to engage socially probanly means that I was likely valued more than I felt. I now feel sad that at a time when it was up to men to make connection that I did not have the confidence to see when women would have enjoyed being approached bu me. I now understand that there were opportunities to kindly engage with girls/women for connection and likely sex, but my insecurities prevented this.