Anyone else feel like they're gross?

[nope]

I'm not a super slob (my clutter is within acceptable norms), but I've noticed I don't really "clean." For example, every now and then someone at work would start wiping her desk with a Clorox wipe, and then I'd look at my own desk and saw the collecting dust (and maybe a couple of water rings stains), but it wouldn't be something I'd notice on my own, which would make me feel self-conscious about not noticing it. The other day someone was telling me she hadn't had a chance to scrubbed her kitchen "this week" and I thought, Man, I haven't scrubbed my kitchen in three months. Even my car, now that I think about it, while it has no clutter whatsoever, needs to be vacuumed.

As a backstory, I did have hygiene issues when I was growing up. My oldest brother was always picking on me and often pointed out in a not-so nice way that I was gross and I needed to wash my hair, brush my teeth, etc. (at the time, I didn't know these things were to be done regularly) until it became the defining thing about me. Even now I'm not convinced I got some of these basic skills down actually, and the better my social life gets the more I feel like I'm a mess.

 

[gregmcph]

So... get at it. Clean up, and make it a habit. Knock down the messes before they build up too much.

I know that sounds like a trite thing to say, but the trick really is to be pro active about it. Wash them damn dishes right after dinner. etc. Do it now.

It only takes a few moments to chuck the crap on your desk in the bin, and grab a cloth and wipe off the dust and coffee stains. And then you look and it's lovely and you'll feel good.

Same with clothes. A decent pair of shoes and a clean shirt and you feel better. You aren't stewing so much about what other people are think of you.

So, that's the mum lecture.

 

[Bolletje]

I feel sort of gross and guilty when I've just made the bed with fresh, clean sheets and then start farting up a storm. And then I feel happy again because sweet sweet release.

On a more serious note, my house is messy. It's not filthy, but it's messy. Me and my boyfriend both have way too much stuff and not enough space to put it. The dining table is the place where you stack stuff, chairs are for clothes. The desk is where we keep things that need to be within arms reach. When we get visitors I usually spend a day vacuuming, mopping and arranging all the clutter into neat stacks, but that's about as much as I can do.

The main offender is books, which we both love. Our bookcases are so full I fear they might collapse any day, but I still have 8 boxes of books in the garage since we moved here 2 years ago. Clothes are also an issue, we have one big wardrobe which fits around half our clothes, so the rest is either on a pile of semi-clean clothes, in the hamper, or hanging on a drying rack waiting for space to open up in the wardrobe.

It's a problem that could be fixed if we had enough money to buy more bookcases and wardrobes, but **** is expensive, yo.

 

[Suzanne]

Yes, I have a huge tendency to feel gross about myself and it was only recently, with what someone else said that I realised, that no matter how clean my home is or me, I will always feel a sense of: my home is not clean enough, but contrary to you, I am actually very clean ( not ridiculously so) and that is because my childhood was the complete opposite. Very dirty. Let's just say that in order to eat, I would have to concentrate on the food on my lap, rather than look at the floor, otherwise, I would not have been able to stomach eating.

I learned at school that I needed to change my underwear ( 0 parenting skills).

My husband taught me how to clean the house and once stood me in the door way of our flat and said: you know, you do a great job cleaning the living room and even the kitchen now, but I am sure the bathroom would love to be cleaned? (He was out earning money).

He said on another occasion: when do you think the bedding should be changed? I said: well, when it starts smelling I guess! I change my bedding linen once a week.

I am cleaner and tider than my husband now. I cannot stand a dirty invironment and go into meltdowns when there is disorganisation around me.

Every thing that is mine has its place, but when you are married to an untidy person, that is something else, and a horrendeous horder; I only have what I use.

Even our wood area is tidy. I have a bin for kindling and another bin for wood that is not quite kindling and then other wood.

 

[Bolletje]

I cannot stand a dirty invironment and go into meltdowns when there is disorganisation around me.

That's the dumb thing for me. Clutter annoys me and messes with my ability to concentrate, however, cleaning up stresses me out to an enormous extent as well. I had a job cleaning a bar at some point, and that was okay, because I had a checklist and the mess was usually manageable due to it being cleaned daily. But living with a person that's equally chaotic as I am, and two cats, the house gets messy so quickly that cleaning up almost feels useless because in the blink of an eye the chaos returns.

 

[xudo]

I have OCD, so the cleanliness part isn't an issue in that I feel gross. To be honest, I usually feel gross when I see how others live and that because my OCD issues mean that I clean things too much. Having said that, I do sometimes get down and I'll maybe not have a shower or brush my teeth one day, but then I will feel gross in myself later in the day usually for not having done it.

That's the dumb thing for me. Clutter annoys me and messes with my ability to concentrate

Having said the above about cleaning, I'm actually pretty bad for clutter. Stuff is clean, but maybe not always that tidy. I'm the same, in that it annoys me when there's clutter but I usually just cba doing anything about it When it gets bad enough that I lose my s**t with it and tidy it, I feel better...but the tidiness never lasts that long

 

[toothless]

i dont feel gross but my apartment is a mess, and i do have hygeine issues i have grown up with massive sensory issues with water so having had sensory integration therapy some years ago and four years of getting used to it on my skin- im only just starting to do strip washes with the support of support staff,but the council/and some disability grant has paid to build a disabled friendly wet room in my bathroom so i can finally use it.

everyone always tells me i smell clean, but if it wasnt for the physical and mental support from staff i wouldnt be able to do any of it, they also help with most of the cleaning to,i help out to with sweeping the gravel from the litter tray off the floor.
its very hard for me because of my autism/ ID and my sensory issues.

 

[nope]

I have OCD, so the cleanliness part isn't an issue in that I feel gross. To be honest, I usually feel gross when I see how others live and that because my OCD issues mean that I clean things too much. Having said that, I do sometimes get down and I'll maybe not have a shower or brush my teeth one day, but then I will feel gross in myself later in the day usually for not having done it.

I have OCD too. I still have to lock and unlock the door multiple times before I leave and I would get up in the middle of the night just to make sure the refrigerator door is properly closed. I used to vacuum daily when I was in high school, which mainly helped me have a sense of routine and control, so I know I'm doing better now because I'm only vacuuming once a month.

I take a shower every other say unless I'm drenched in sweat, or after a trip to the hospital, or the dentist, or a haircut, or after trying out clothes in the department store. It feels gross when I don't take a shower after that, but it doesn't make me feel like I'm gross.

 

[nope]

i dont feel gross but my apartment is a mess, and i do have hygeine issues i have grown up with massive sensory issues with water so having had sensory integration therapy some years ago and four years of getting used to it on my skin- im only just starting to do strip washes with the support of support staff,but the council/and some disability grant has paid to build a disabled friendly wet room in my bathroom so i can finally use it.

I don't have sensory issues with water, but now that I think about it I don't like putting my hand in a bucket of soapy water that's been "contaminated" after its first use. I think that's the equivalent of bathing your arm in filth.

 

[dragonwolf]

So... get at it. Clean up, and make it a habit. Knock down the messes before they build up too much.

I know that sounds like a trite thing to say, but the trick really is to be pro active about it. Wash them damn dishes right after dinner. etc. Do it now.

It only takes a few moments to chuck the crap on your desk in the bin, and grab a cloth and wipe off the dust and coffee stains. And then you look and it's lovely and you'll feel good.

Same with clothes. A decent pair of shoes and a clean shirt and you feel better. You aren't stewing so much about what other people are think of you.

So, that's the mum lecture.

I agree with this, but I also know it's easier said than done, especially when it's something you just don't think about.

First, as long as it's not filthy, it's okay. Seriously, that disinfectant stuff arguably does more harm than good most of the time.

Now, if you want to start keeping things more tidy, start building a checklist and maybe include a frequency interval and day to do it.

For example, dishes get done every day, vacuuming once a week on Saturdays. For the desk, each day, tidy up papers, toss out trash, and make sure there no cup rings, before you leave for the day.

Now, for catching up, I'm liking the stuff I'm finding in "Unf*ck Your Habitat." It takes a Pomodoro approach -- clean in 20 minute intervals (or what works for you), with a break in between. Do that even once a day, and your place will be quite a bit nicer in no time.

 

[gregmcph]

Sure. But it's not so much of a work issue. It's a noticing issue, or generating the initial willpower.

Maybe the first step is that realisation. "This place is grubby, and I look grubby.". Once you've achieved that, you can do little things to make it all a little bit better. Chuck stuff out. Wash your damn hair. If you need a bookshelf, get one. Second hand, off the street.... you can get one if you try. It's generating the mental energy to do stuff, and you will feel better with yourself for doing it.

That's the Dad lecture.

PS, Clutter. You have twice as much stuff as you need. You could chuck out most of you clothes and still have plenty, for example.
Charity Bins. Use 'em.

 

[abby normal]

I've always been a slob but as I've grown old it has gotten markedly worse. disorganization is just the beginning of it. slovenly gets closer to it. and I can discern no way out of this, other than the grave.

 

[Hoatzins]

Usually, I do quite well with an occasional cleaning of my space, but these days, everything feels pretty pointless.
To make matters a bit worse, the trailer does not have garbage service, and no running water or sewer, so cleaning is rather difficult.
That said, my father is a legitimate hoarder, so this is quite good in comparison.

 

[Larisa]

Thank you for the topic - I realized that I feel that way too.
But I have several things to consider.
My grandmothers were cleaness-obsessed to the point that my paternal grandma came to my parents' flat and MADE them to clean it EVERY saturday.
I was small then - but I remember how horrible it was: the mood of everyone's black, the nerves're short and, really, it was a hell broken loose.
Then my grandma got older and she stopped her clean-patrols, my parents got REALLY messy.
My father started to gather some things from the street 'just in case it would be useful'.
My mother occupied one room for herself and forbid everyone to enter there. She started gathering the things people gave her: when she died there were piles of old clothes around the flat she took and never donned herself.
I grew among piles of street garbage and old clothes littering the flat.
My sister and I we hired several times people to carry father's piles of garbage to the garbage place, but father brought more.
We cleaned the flat completely only after they both died.

So I realized that my grandmothers fought with my parents for all their lives - but my parents eventually won the contest by outliving.

I prefer that my living place had only functional things and plenty of space, I don't throw around my clothes or things, but I have plenty of dust.
I seldom do wet cleaning.
But I think with all the crankiness of my childhood - I'm quite sensible.
I do total cleaning - when I sincerely WANT to do it.
It's seldom, I confess. But I'm terrified to 'flip' under outward pressure just like my parents did.

I think it's so much more reasonable to uphold the moderate order - which I can make perfect clean in a matter of ONE-TWO HOUR(s).
It's my victory, I think - considering my upbringing
Certainly I admit that I live alone (without a partner) - and other person's opinion on that matter would be different.

By the way my other grandmother (by my mother's side) was cleanness-obsessed till my granfather (her husband) died. After that she got messy as well - cause it was him who made her clean constantly.
It was sad to see her being totally disoriented after the pressure on her got lifted.
She was terrified to make ANY decision at all - without somebody's persuading her (and not always to her benefit). She made some bad desicions then - and she sold her good house to buy a shack.
I think a person who got used to live under outward control and pressure from outside may end up like this. Nobody could help her - she just couldn't tell wrong from right - from her own perspective and she suspected everyone to hate her and to wish her bad.

 

[Riley]

Ten-four, kemosabe.