Anyone find that their smile is forced after a short while whilst in company?

[Suzanne]

This is what happened today ( happened a lot in the past) and I sensed that it was time to depart company. I feel that my smile is wobbily and extremely false.

Also, I discovered that when I feel comfortable with another female, I end up fiddling with a part of her clothing. Usually the collar or broach or earrings.

 

[Judge]

I guess I never thought about how feigning a smile might appear. That if people pick up on it, that it might be worse than no smile at all. Point taken.

Most of my spontaneous smiles seem to be left for animals more than any humans.

Though I still laugh when I find something funny. But a smile in basic conversation with someone, I suppose I have always been woefully deficient. My bad.

 

[Aspychata]

l fake smile all the time, it helps relieve my anger at the idiot l am forced to deal with. It's actually a calming stim for me, if l smile enough then this person will free me from further silliness. It also helps with small talk which l have no desire to participate in. You don't answer, you just smile at the customer service person, and refuse to answer.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

Yes, I can relate. I usually enjoy other people's company, as long as my battery is full enough, so my smile is frequent and comes naturally for a while. After a certain time, though, I have to force it, as well as other affirmative body language such as looking at their faces and making affirmative sounds, and it gets harder and harder to keep those things up, the longer things go. I also get more and more aware of those things, the longer things go: While at the beginning I do all those things without thinking about them, the longer it goes, the more I have to remind myself to keep doing them. I get more and more tired, and my head feels heavier and foggier. That's usually around the time I should put a stop to the conversation and take a break, because if I don't, things go downhill from there.

 

[thejuice]

People get a fear response when I smile. Or they look confused. Serial killer vibes?

 

[FayetheAspie]

If I am unhappy or if I am uncomfortable around a person, I don't think I really do smile much.
If I am enjoying a conversation I don't recall getting tired from smiling. Getting to have a fun conversation actually energizes me and it can be hard to stop. Afterwards I might even need to gallop around my house before I can wind down a bit.

 

[FayetheAspie]

People get a fear response when I smile. Or they look confused. Serial killer vibes?

People have responded to me that way too. I don't know why. It's like friendliness, excitement, ect. is automatically seen as suspicious, yet being quiet is seen as suspicious too.

 

[thejuice]

People have responded to me that way too. I don't know why. It's like friendliness, excitement, ect. is automatically seen as suspicious, yet being quiet is seen as suspicious too.

Yeah. Especially as a loner. I've had people smile and I smile back and they stop. Lol. I call my gift: 'the opposite of the Lynx Effect'. I'm as appealing as an old shoe.

 

[thejuice]

Smiling hurts. Lots of unused muscles.

 

[Judge]

l fake smile all the time, it helps relieve my anger at the idiot l am forced to deal with. It's actually a calming stim for me, if l smile enough then this person will free me from further silliness. It also helps with small talk which l have no desire to participate in. You don't answer, you just smile at the customer service person, and refuse to answer.

"All the time". Maybe that's an answer of sorts. The more one does it, the less it may seem to be contrived? Maybe...I only know having a mother that would constantly tell me to smile...even when it didn't seem appropriate. Never understood that....

 

[DrBadStrings]

I can't force a smile but I get what you're feeling. I find there are times where I have to mentally prepare myself for the effort of being sociable when I really don't want to be. Including coming across as being happy and engaged when all I want is to leave. And it doesn't matter if it's family or not.

I recently had my cousin over for supper. And I was looking forward to the visit until he showed up at lunchtime and suddenly it's "oh great now I have to entertain for the entire afternoon". I hadn't been expecting him till closer to supper time. So by the time 7:00pm came around and he'd been there since a little after 12:00 I was more than ready for him to go. Secretly in my head I was shouting for him to leave.

Heads up to everyone if you get invited to supper, ask what time it is and don't show up 4 hours before, 1 hour tops folks.

 

[Pats]

I looked at photos of me holding my great grandson yesterday for the first time and, even, I could tell it was a forced smile. I wasn't ready. I was mentally preparing to go up and be with my son and his family and new baby, but they came down and got me. Then they put him in my arms. I'm fake smiling and thinking how my arm is going to sleep, neck and back starting to hurt because I'm kinda frozen and can't shift positions and don't know how to give the baby back and say "I'm done now".

 

[Judge]

I looked at photos of me holding my great grandson yesterday for the first time and, even, I could tell it was a forced smile. I wasn't ready. I was mentally preparing to go up and be with my son and his family and new baby, but they came down and got me. Then they put him in my arms. I'm fake smiling and thinking how my arm is going to sleep, neck and back starting to hurt because I'm kinda frozen and can't shift positions and don't know how to give the baby back and say "I'm done now".

Remind me of a nice picture of my girlfriend at the time, with me besides her with a less-than-friendly look on my face. Frustrating to look back on it all...while loving photography but failing to be photogenic in the slightest.

 

[Pats]

"All the time". Maybe that's an answer of sorts. The more one does it, the less it may seem to be contrived? Maybe...I only know having a mother that would constantly tell me to smile...even when it didn't seem appropriate. Never understood that....

I wonder if it's an autism thing. My oldest son, even as a toddler, just always had a sober expression - no smiles, even though I knew he was happy. His smiles just didn't look like a smile. But I would take him to have his picture made and the photographer would always be trying to get him to smile and I'd tell them, it's okay - I'd rather he look natural. lol

 

[Judge]

I wonder if it's an autism thing. My oldest son, even as a toddler, just always had a sober expression - no smiles, even though I knew he was happy.

Sounds familiar. "Sober as a judge".

 

[Misty Avich]

I'm often told to smile when I'm just sitting around thinking, but when I'm actually interacting with people I do find I smile quite naturally, unless we're talking about something serious. I laugh a lot (when not talking about something serious) so that automatically creates a smile.