Anyone searching for specific patterns in girls?

[Dario Visconti]

This might sound crazy but, recently, I noticed something in me. I'm only attracted to girls that fit very specific criteria. Actually, I'm searching for patterns in their faces and their hair. That's a thing that could cause conflict in discussions with other people. They don't get it. To be honest, for the most part they don't even notice the details I'm describing.
Blondes, for example, must fit the Nordic type (blonde hair, light eyes, white skin), Red-heads must fit the Celtic type (white skin, "ginger" hair, light eyes) and Brunnetes must fit the Mediterranean or Middle Eastern type (medium dark skin, dark eyes, very dark hair). The common denominator of those are 2 things: (a) mediterranean nose (google it) and (b) straight hair. Symmetry in the face also plays a very important role. Anything else doesn't bother me (e.g. body type, height etc.)
For some reason, it has always been like this and I'm not willing to change it at all, although some girls might be pretty but not fitting those criteria. I find it somewhat annoying because other people judge it and I don't want to be mean but that's just the way it is, with me.
So, I'm kind of intrigued to ask anyone here: do you people do this or is it just me?

P.S. 1: (Not Playstation 1 ) I'm sorry, a priori, if anyone gets disturbed by what I wrote. I don't mean to offend anybody.
P.S. 2: I'm not officialy diagnosed with AS or any other ASD, so if that sounds weird, don't bother with it. But it's like the missing part of an equation to me. Without that, my life experiences so far, cannot be explained.

 

[Ereth]

I can't say I've ever been that picky. But while I understand you're not trying to be offensive, I think you put your happiness at great risk with such standards. What if you find someone you connect with on a very deep level, but she's not physically what you want? Are you going to ignore that person because she's not your ideal?

 

[Turk]

I can't say I've ever been that picky. But while I understand you're not trying to be offensive, I think you put your happiness at great risk with such standards. What if you find someone you connect with on a very deep level, but she's not physically what you want? Are you going to ignore that person because she's not your ideal?

Beauty doesnt last forever, and when it finally deserts us, i want a partner I can engage with at a level that, goes further than skin deep. Relationships just dont last unless the connection is more than purely physical.

 

[Dario Visconti]

You guys have absolute right in what you say and I don't disagree at all. But here's the thing, I don't choose romantic relationships according to the image but other things are important like communication and understanding. Besides, I won't usually approach women.
What I describe is not anything related to or even close to love. It's more like admiration. Just like when you see a work of art. But it must fit those criteria and nothing less. The smallest of changes or a tiny difference might make this "admiration" vanquish... I think it's an obsession. But I can't find why and how it got on me.

 

[Ereth]

Okay. So if I'm understanding you correctly, you're obsessed with certain female aesthetics or something. I know Tiziano Vecelli (known in English as Titian) was fond of painting redheaded women.

I think you can get over this obsession if you teach yourself to stop looking at women from a purely aesthetic viewpoint.

 

[Dario Visconti]

Could be possibly that. But that doesn't mean at the very least that I consider women as objects or things, in general.

 

[Ereth]

I never said it meant that. I just suggested what the issue could be. But this is probably something to bring up with an actual counselor and not an armchair psychologist like me.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I think he simply stated that there is a specific physical type he is attracted to you. From what I've observed, this is pretty common for both men and women. But that doesn't mean that a person judges people or esteems them by whether they fit into that type. Someone fitting into our "type" might help us notice them. But people come to genuinely like other people for deeper reasons. And once that happens, one can see a new beauty in someone one had previously thought was ugly.

I used to be attracted specifically to small delicate-looking men. I also felt more attracted if they were either very pale, or very dark skinned. But the guy I eventually fell for was tall, and broad. With in-between skin. I came to see beauty in his build, it seemed gentle and protective, as he is. I didn't like him because he was physically beautiful. I saw his inner beauty, and eventually that seemed to radiate outward and help me to appreciate his physical beauty.

 

[Vanilla]

This might sound crazy but, recently, I noticed something in me. I'm only attracted to girls that fit very specific criteria. Actually, I'm searching for patterns in their faces and their hair. That's a thing that could cause conflict in discussions with other people. They don't get it. To be honest, for the most part they don't even notice the details I'm describing.
Blondes, for example, must fit the Nordic type (blonde hair, light eyes, white skin), Red-heads must fit the Celtic type (white skin, "ginger" hair, light eyes) and Brunnetes must fit the Mediterranean or Middle Eastern type (medium dark skin, dark eyes, very dark hair). The common denominator of those are 2 things: (a) mediterranean nose (google it) and (b) straight hair. Symmetry in the face also plays a very important role. Anything else doesn't bother me (e.g. body type, height etc.)
For some reason, it has always been like this and I'm not willing to change it at all, although some girls might be pretty but not fitting those criteria. I find it somewhat annoying because other people judge it and I don't want to be mean but that's just the way it is, with me.
So, I'm kind of intrigued to ask anyone here: do you people do this or is it just me?

P.S. 1: (Not Playstation 1 ) I'm sorry, a priori, if anyone gets disturbed by what I wrote. I don't mean to offend anybody.
P.S. 2: I'm not officialy diagnosed with AS or any other ASD, so if that sounds weird, don't bother with it. But it's like the missing part of an equation to me. Without that, my life experiences so far, cannot be explained.

I understand the point you're trying to make, and don't think it's offensive. It's a natural process that every person has engrained in to them from birth, but it doesn't necessarily mean it rules you.

It's likely a a natural part of how we choose our mates, by selecting partners that are compatible with our own genes. We can see animals doing this all the time, although we are quite complex creatures, and are quite capable of overriding these thoughts, with our own educated opinions of a person.

 

[Spinosaurus kin]

Meh, everyone has some kind of preference.
I don't seem to have any criteria for the appearance of a girl, but I do have some personality traits that I need for it to work, (and I will also try not to sound offensive) like how she would need to be reasonably intelligent for me to have much decent conversation with.
I would say that you shouldn't get worried about it.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I gotta tell you that my whole adult life I've had "the list" of what I was looking for in a potential boyfriend/husband and when I was your age "the list" was pretty long. After some time of not finding "the one", I've taken some items off of "the list" that I can more than likely work around. Now, I'm still single and what I have on "the list" are traits that my boyfriend/husband MUST have (the nitty gritty list is what I call it). My point is, at your age you still have time for playing around and trying to find "the one" and there is nothing wrong with that - everyone is attracted to certain people. However, one day you'll turn around and time you thought was there is now gone and you're all alone. So whatever choices you make right now are ok, but just be ready for the consequences that will be sure to come.

One more thing, try to live with no regrets. Anyone that fit "the list" and I was attracted to I did ask out on a date if they didn't ask me first. By doing that I have no regrets that "the one" got away because I was too chicken to make a move. If you're going to be that particular, you can't be shy.

 

[Stik]

I understand. But I don't know how to explain that I do.

 

[Vanilla]

I gotta tell you that my whole adult life I've had "the list" of what I was looking for in a potential boyfriend/husband and when I was your age "the list" was pretty long. After some time of not finding "the one", I've taken some items off of "the list" that I can more than likely work around. Now, I'm still single and what I have on "the list" are traits that my boyfriend/husband MUST have (the nitty gritty list is what I call it). My point is, at your age you still have time for playing around and trying to find "the one" and there is nothing wrong with that - everyone is attracted to certain people. However, one day you'll turn around and time you thought was there is now gone and you're all alone. So whatever choices you make right now are ok, but just be ready for the consequences that will be sure to come.

One more thing, try to live with no regrets. Anyone that fit "the list" and I was attracted to I did ask out on a date if they didn't ask me first. By doing that I have no regrets that "the one" got away because I was too chicken to make a move. If you're going to be that particular, you can't be shy.

My ideals of "the perfect guy" have definitely changed since I was younger, though I seem to have the opposite thing going for me.

I used to simply want a guy that I could also call my best friend, and I found somewhat attractive. Now I actually have more expectations, and have raised my standards, but in saying that, it's only to encompass what I have learned about men, and people in general (and I've learned a lot).

For example, I need a guy who is able to be honest to my face; even if he thinks he's going to hurt my feelings. There's nothing more hurtful than learning someone's been lying to you the whole time, and rather than dealing with a simple issue, going out their way to hide it from you; it's a breach of trust, and trust is the foundation of any relationship.

Of course he'd be allowed to have his own secrets, everyone's entitled to those, but there are certain lies that cross the line in any relationship, and most of the time the one withholding the truth is well aware of this, even if they'd rather not admit it. Also, if they don't think you are able to handle the truth, or grow from it as a person, it kind of makes you realise that they don't think very highly of you. Not only that, but it makes you think less of the person lying to you too. I'm not saying you should never lie, cause that's impossible, but if you lie, and it's important, then own up to it.

That's how I feel about the matter anyway.

 

[Ste11aeres]

My ideals of "the perfect guy" have definitely changed since I was younger, though I seem to have the opposite thing going for me...Now I actually have more expectations, and have raised my standards, but in saying that, it's only to encompass what I have learned about men, and people in general (and I've learned a lot).

Same here. Although part of it is that I used to be more easily attracted to almost any guy. Nowadays that's not the case. But also I've learned more: both about what jerks some people are, and about how nice other people can be, so I am more careful.