Anyone with a Mom on the spectrum?

[Dreamer]

I've been skimming the family threads to see if I could relate to anyone else's experience. I did, but am hunting for more specific information that I can't seem to come by in my internet searches.

In a nutshell, my family is a hot mess. There is constant drama, accusations, gossiping, two-facedness, backstabbing, hearsay, and arguing. I have a strong suspicion that my Mom is undiagnosed on the spectrum for many reasons, including the fact that she can't seem to get along with her other two daughters--who probably have undiagnosed mental issues of their own.

I guess what I'm asking is...if you have a mother with Autism, is this a common theme? Does she have this constant aura of chaos and chronic misunderstandings? We can't be the only family like this.

 

[Mia]

There is constant drama, accusations, gossiping, two-facedness, backstabbing, hearsay, and arguing.

My own parent probably had a personality disorder of some kind. Yet displayed some autistic traits. It's an older sibling with autistic traits and other siblings who caused a great deal of the drama and chaos. When they are together, there is and was constant controlling behavior, arguments, gossip, literally so much noise that you needed to leave the room. I began to cut contact with some of my siblings five years ago, as I couldn't bear to be around them. So no, I don't think you are the only family like this. Much of what you mention is familiar.

 

[Pats]

My 4 kids did. But I don't think any of them would say it sounded like what you're describing as far as our family went.

 

[Mathophobe]

I suspect I inherited my Asperger's from my mom. She has this very juvenile, girlish demeanor that isn't typical of women her age (she turned fifty this year). That's not to say adults without Asperger's can't be childlike at heart, but she seems...excessively so. She was also the last of her eight siblings to be born, so her chances of falling into the spectrum were all the higher, especially considering her father was an alcoholic and smoker.

 

[TempeFan]

Know several Mothers like you describe but none of them on the spectrum. Try looking up NPD not ASD.

Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

 

[Pats]

And female narcissists tend to play the victim and everything they do wrong is everyone else's fault.

 

[Dreamer]

Know several Mothers like you describe but none of them on the spectrum. Try looking up NPD not ASD.

Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

Thanks for the suggestion--I hadn't even considered this as a possibility. It very well could be.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

I am a Mum on the spectrum and I am definitely not like that. My son is also on the spectrum (he's an adult now) and we understand each other very well. I agree with the others suggesting NPD. I'm sorry you have to cope with this.