Archer and aspie

[Archer36]

Hello all,

I'm a 36yo guy from Ottawa, On (Canada). I was discussing about my difficulties to communicate and make friends with someone and she pointed at the Asperger thing and it turned into a big "aaaaah! Thats why!" moment.

All my life I thought my head was "broken/damaged" because of the heavy bullying i experienced in High School, but then realized that ... no ... bullying wasn't cool at all, but it wasn't the reasons why I had difficulties so many years after. So I educated myself and i'm pretty confident the mild asperger syndrome is the accurate diagnostic for me. So many symptoms exactly match what I experience daily. It was a "nice" discovery ... Not too happy that I have this syndrome on top of my Marfan syndrome ... Having a different body was hard, and now having a different brain makes it even more difficult. Grrrr ... anyway ... it's better to know than not knowing. I can deal with it properly now.

I'm highly functional in general ... I have a nice job, a car, a small townhouse and a little motorcycle too ... Then a massive empty hole as social life. My current hobby is competitive archery ... I do it a lot ... I find it comfortable to spend countless hours at the range shooting hundreds of arrows ... repeating the same movement again and again and again. It keeps me happy. And I don't need to talk to people while I'm there. I'm getting quite good at it, surprisingly. I've never been good at any sports, but at archery i'm almost top 10 Canadian now. At least I like to think I will reach the top 10 one day.

I'm uncertain what to do with that self-diagnostic yet ... its been a couple of weeks since I accepted that its most probably it ... I had a loooong discussion with my mother and she told me stuff that kind of confirm the whole thing. At some point she said "I don't think you'll ever been able the see the things the same way as the others." She didn't say that to be mean, but coming from my mother it was strange. I'm all confused (so is this text ) ... I'm not sure if I should tell people or not ... I don't want them to pity me ... maybe I'd just like them to understand why I am the way I am ... Why I never look in the eyes, why sudden noises scares/hurts me that much, why the magazines have to be pilled up perfectly in the left corner of the coffee table ... and why what I say makes lot of sense to me and no sense at all to them.

Ah well .. at least here I'm pretty sure a couple of people will understand what I'm living. There is hope ...

 

[Mitch]

Hi Archer36, welcome! I can understand that you don't know what to do with the self-diagnostic yet. Just try to not look at it as 'yet another syndrome', but more like a different (sometimes even better! ) way of thinking. It doesn't change who you are, you just have a better understanding of yourself. That can't be a bad thing, right?

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome

Glad you've managed to find yourself!

I stumbled across the possibility that I could have AS only a few months ago. Like you, suddenly everything makes sense, and it's so plainly obvious; I don't know how I went for so long without knowing, haha

Archery is pretty cool! I've always wanted to do that, but being such an uncommon sport, I guess it never really happened. That, and the last time I held a bow and arrow was at school camp, and the best I managed was to aerate the school lawns, haha.

In terms of telling people, it's obviously up to you who you feel comfortable telling. I've only told friends and family for now, but when I did, I made sure they understood that I was happy about the diagnoses, and would assure them that there was nothing wrong with me. They may be sceptical at first, but when they see me carry on as per usual, they realise that nothing's changed, and that I am ok.

Anyway, hope you settle in nicely. Feel free to ask any questions.

 

[Warwick C]

Welcome Mitch, as Vanilla says you may want learn more first about aspergers. Then pick the ones you feel are strong enough to know,because you may need to lean on them from time to time early on.

It is just the beginning of a long journey fo you

 

[Ereth]

Hi there, Archer!

You'll understand more about yourself and be more comfortable with your new discoveries as time goes on. That's how it was for me.

Cool pictures!

 

[Archer36]

Thanks for the warm welcome.

yeah, its definitely nice to know why I'm the way I am, assuming I'm not wrong with my self-diagnostic. I don't think I am, and I don't think I'm a severe case either. And yes, to be an aspie seems quite ... "special" ... in some ways. I'm sure there are some advantages ... I guess I'll discover them at some point ...

So far I have ups and downs ... one day I think its not so bad, and the next day, I hate myself for not being able to communicate.

Like yesterday, for once I decided to not eat lunch alone in my office, I went to eat with a co-worker in the lunch room. He asked me a question ... I answered .. and of course I got stuck inside my head while I was giving my answer, and the first thing I hear is "If you are done eating your lunch, i'll go back to my office." ... like if he didn't give a **** about what I just explained. And I couldn't tell he was bored until he told me he wanted to leave.

That happens every single day. Its annoying to not understand how communication works. What I say makes a lot of sense in my head, but other people react like if I used a encrypted language. grrrr

 

[Vanilla]

Thanks for the warm welcome.

yeah, its definitely nice to know why I'm the way I am, assuming I'm not wrong with my self-diagnostic. I don't think I am, and I don't think I'm a severe case either. And yes, to be an aspie seems quite ... "special" ... in some ways. I'm sure there are some advantages ... I guess I'll discover them at some point ...

So far I have ups and downs ... one day I think its not so bad, and the next day, I hate myself for not being able to communicate.

Like yesterday, for once I decided to not eat lunch alone in my office, I went to eat with a co-worker in the lunch room. He asked me a question ... I answered .. and of course I got stuck inside my head while I was giving my answer, and the first thing I hear is "If you are done eating your lunch, i'll go back to my office." ... like if he didn't give a **** about what I just explained. And I couldn't tell he was bored until he told me he wanted to leave.

That happens every single day. Its annoying to not understand how communication works. What I say makes a lot of sense in my head, but other people react like if I used a encrypted language. grrrr

Aww...I know that feeling all too well

 

[Turk]

Hi Archer and welcome.
You seem to have managed to do very well for yourself, all things considered. As this is something, youve only just come to realize, take it slow. Arm yourself with information about your condition before going to deep into conversation, with others about it. This site has great resources and personal accounts, to help you. You are still the same person you were 4 weeks ago, so tell people when you think your ready, not because you think you owe it to them.
Cheers
Turk