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Are you Childfree?

Isadoorian

Isadoorian

Welcomer of Newcomers
V.I.P Member
Now, I know this will likely become fairly controversial, but I'm interested to see how many people on here are CF. And please keep it clean and no bashing! Follow Bill and Teds Advice along with Wheatons Law! (Be Excellent to Each Other and Don't be a Richard ;) )

For those out of the loop, Childfree is different from being Childless. Childless being you currently have no children, but do plan on it in some form in the future (adoption, biologically, surrogate, Step-children via Marriage, etc.)

Childfree is when one doesn't want any kids whatsoever, going as far as getting sterilized. This can because of personal reasons (such as a Family History of debilitating diseases), or because they're medically unable to do so (naturally sterile or a they currently have a life threatening disease). Many women are also Tokophobic (fear of being or becoming pregnant) which is a valid reason.

Having children is a choice much like anything else in life. You are not bound by anything or anyone to have them.

I myself am Childfree. I am so because I don't usually have the patience for small children, and I have a knack for worrying about money. Not having kids would help in ensuring I have the money to help pay any bills, food, rent, clothes, etc. I also don't want to contribute to Overpopulation, alongside my family (both sides) are fairly big already. I've also never really thought about having kids in my younger years. I also do plan on trying to get a vasectomy done as well in the near future. My parents are both supportive of my decision of not wanting to have kids thankfully.

Also, when Childfree people say they don't want kids and don't plan on it, they'll get "Bingoed" by others, saying "oh, you'll change your mind!". "your biological clocks ticking!", "it's different when they're yours!", "What about the Family Name/Legacy?!" etc etc. and other such Propaganda to try and get/guilt-trip one to change their mind.

There are Fence sitters as well, which is semi-controversial within the Childfree community itself. People say "you're Childfree or you're not!". I find that to be partly true, but I do think people are still unsure with what they want in their life and should take the time to consider one path or the other. And that's a-okay by me.

So, are you Childfree? What are your reasons as to why, if you feel like sharing. (again, please keep it clean and no bashing!)
 
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I am childfree. I hate children, simply put. This is another example (along with materialistic women) where you're basically adopting a talking dog that eats money and craps problems. I'd rather just have a regular dog; they're cuter, too.
 
I'm not interested in having children, overall. Although I don't hate them per se, I don't like them either and it doesn't matter how closely related I am to the child in question. One, two days at most and they start to really get on my nerves. I also tend to get absorbed in whatever project I have at hand for weeks or months at a time to a point where I forget about any family I may have... which isn't exactly something a good parent should apparently be like.

Also, the thought of having to have this thing growing in me for nine months, eating from me, damaging my spine and what-not and then forcing itself out for hours at a time while I'm in a rather big pain is highly unpleasant.

Just not my cup of tea, I suppose.
 
I have no children by choice and I'm 72 so never going to have any. I just doubted my ability to support a child as a single parent and also whether I'd make a good parent (it's hard for me to say no to those I love).
 
I plan on being childfree too. I don't hate kids as a whole, I even find some of them cute, but it takes a certain level of responsibility I don't want to have and sacrifice that I don't want to give. I'm also pretty sensitive to babies crying and temper tantrums, so that's not something I want to go through.

I still have somewhat of a motherly instinct, but it takes more than that to be able to handle having a child. I don't think I am or ever will be emotionally equipped to handle that. The sexist Puritan-esque BS that all women must desire kids or else there's something wrong with them needs to go. It's so outdated and can encourage women to have them without really thinking it through, leaving them miserable and their resources drained.
 
I am also childfree. Never wanted them. I knew this from the time I was a teen. Unfortunately my family, including my parents, were dead set against it and all (with the exception of maybe my maternal grandfather as he got older) kept pestering me to get married and have kids. I planned a vasectomy when I was in my early 30s but when my parents found out they forced me to cancel the appointment. My father (now dead) always regretted not having grandkids, and my mom (still alive) does too. For some reason they think I'm a failure at life because I was never able to have a high paying, high status career and a wife and several children in a McMansion with all sorts of status symbols inside. They grew up poor and always wanted to be materially successful, and couldn't understand why I didn't. My aunt has five kids who now all have big families of their own. My folks liked to spend Christmas afternoon at her house for many years with all the kids and gifts and etc.
 
oregano said:
I am also childfree. Never wanted them. I knew this from the time I was a teen. Unfortunately my family, including my parents, were dead set against it and all (with the exception of maybe my maternal grandfather as he got older) kept pestering me to get married and have kids. I planned a vasectomy when I was in my early 30s but when my parents found out they forced me to cancel the appointment. My father (now dead) always regretted not having grandkids, and my mom (still alive) does too. For some reason they think I'm a failure at life because I was never able to have a high paying, high status career and a wife and several children in a McMansion with all sorts of status symbols inside. They grew up poor and always wanted to be materially successful, and couldn't understand why I didn't. My aunt has five kids who now all have big families of their own. My folks liked to spend Christmas afternoon at her house for many years with all the kids and gifts and etc.
Click to expand...

Yes, it's always sad to see peoples families shame their own for not wanting to have any kids; sorry you went through that :(
 
SunnyDay16, same with me, I know I couldn't handle marriage and kids. I also know that the pressure on women to have kids is so intense that women simply pick a guy and get pregnant, expecting the guy to fork over most of his paycheck in child support to fund the kid. It rarely works out, the women wind up in extreme poverty in a godforsaken rotting suburb, reliant on food stamps and public transit and internet make work schemes like Mechanical Turk where they get paid a few cents for an hour long "task". Their lives are hitting refresh on Mechanical Turk trying to score a good paying task (maybe a dollar) and trying to keep their kids fed. The kids raise themselves and then run away at 15 and disappear.
 
I have two girls. I like them. But there not for everyone. I don’t care and respect everyone’s choices. My two closest male humans are married and both child free. Cool for them. :)
 
I completely support people who choose to be child free! I have no desire to have children, grandchildren, or even live near children.
However, I think more should be done to ensure that the world’s children are provided with food, health care, education, and allowed to grow up without suffering.
Just not around me.
 
I often wish I was, but that is not what fate had in store for me. As you know I have a classical autistic son with low IQ and severe ADHD. I thought life was a challenge before he arrived... All I can do is laugh at myself now..
One thing that really makes me pissed off is when people say "I'm bored".. I wish I had that luxury. My life is literally one of the levels of hell from Dante's Inferno and boredom is something people should appreciate IMO.
 
I don't have children because:

I never wanted them.
I never had the urge/instinct.
I wouldn't make a good mother.
Too much money.
Too much responsibility.
The idea of pregnancy and childbirth terrifies me (I'm a coward).
I don't like pain (again, I'm a coward).
I'm sensitive to noise (babies crying, kids screaming)
They are too demanding. I don't think I could cope.
 
I'm glad to see this thread as I was just thinking about creating one similar myself.
It is an interest I have also as to why people want children or don't.

Speaking of the biological clock...
It seems the majority will say there was just some maternal instinct that set off the desire for a child.
I never experienced that instinct.
Secondly many say they feel the need to have children and grandchildren as it is a way for themselves
to "live on."
Don't get that at all. How do you live on through propagation?
Sure, you're passing down some of your genes to the next generation, but, I don't think you will
see what's going on in the world through the eyes of your grandchildren after your own demise.
Also, does anyone stop to think about the child?
Will it be happy it was born or live wishing it hadn't been?
Seems selecting to have children is strictly a motivation for self fulfillment.

Also it IS a choice. And beyond the above statements, there is something else that you choose which
creates the pregnancy to begin with.
Being asexual I missed out on that one too. Of course there's artificial insemination if you really want
a child of your own creation.

Then there's the big one:
onlything said:
Also, the thought of having to have this thing growing in me for nine months, eating from me, damaging my spine and what-not and then forcing itself out for hours at a time while I'm in a rather big pain is highly unpleasant.
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Why does anyone want to go through this?

I think I've just missed out on a lot of what Erik Erikson speaks about in his phases of life.
The genetic clock just didn't go off.
Interesting to wonder why. :oops:
 
We're the opposite of DINKs [Double Income, No Kids].
We're SILKs [Single Income, Lotsa Kids]!
Family scorecard: ⚤ ♀♀♂♂♂♂♂♂♀♀♂♂⎛♀⎞♂♀♂♂♂
Correction: only ten living children.
 
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