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As an Aspie Girl

MrsPB

MrsPB

Active Member
Hey Everyone!

I only suspected I might have ASD (autism spectrum disorder) at 24 years old. And that was only after watching a video about aspie girls in particular.

Everyone who knew me as a child sensed something was "off" about me. To my misfortune, I was told that I was "weird, quirky, unique, and shy," which are personality traits.

So, I attempted to change my personality, just as I was expected to. This felt like smashing my head against a brick wall. All the while, my family and friends encouraged me to, "just try harder."

So, I did. I masked, and masked, and masked, and actually got good at it. Masking, as we know, takes an incredible emotional toll.

But it became automatic for me. So, I spent years with different therapists, many of which couldn't see anything wrong or different about me. I came to them, begging for a diagnosis to work off of, and I was thrown through many diagnostic loops before I took things into my own hands. I prepared a detailed list of symptoms I had related to ASD, and gave them to my psychiatrist. I was diagnosed a few minutes after.

So, yeah. It's hard to get diagnosed for ASD as a girl, and even harder to feel validated by your social network. But there's hope.

Anyone else have a similar experience?
 
We get you. You'll find numerous comments here very similar to your own when it comes to masking our traits and behaviors. And yes, it is always exhausting.

Welcome to AF.
 
Did the same thing, @MrsPB to the point that it became what I thought of as my personality. All the masking helped me fit in. Was confused though, that some sort of essential secret had been removed or was missing. A part of me, that was lost in childhood, a slight inkling remained though.

Psychiatry didn't really help me, as I masked most of the time. Eventually I was able to peel off the veneer of a lifetime of fitting in. I did it with research and reading and tests and time to myself to paint and think. Thinking for myself free of some of the influences around me, enabled me to discover certain self-truths, that were evident from some behaviour that related to autistic traits. Things that I had long been out of touch with.
 
MrsPB said:
Hey Everyone!

I only suspected I might have ASD (autism spectrum disorder) at 24 years old. And that was only after watching a video about aspie girls in particular.

Everyone who knew me as a child sensed something was "off" about me. To my misfortune, I was told that I was "weird, quirky, unique, and shy," which are personality traits.

So, I attempted to change my personality, just as I was expected to. This felt like smashing my head against a brick wall. All the while, my family and friends encouraged me to, "just try harder."

So, I did. I masked, and masked, and masked, and actually got good at it. Masking, as we know, takes an incredible emotional toll.

But it became automatic for me. So, I spent years with different therapists, many of which couldn't see anything wrong or different about me. I came to them, begging for a diagnosis to work off of, and I was thrown through many diagnostic loops before I took things into my own hands. I prepared a detailed list of symptoms I had related to ASD, and gave them to my psychiatrist. I was diagnosed a few minutes after.

So, yeah. It's hard to get diagnosed for ASD as a girl, and even harder to feel validated by your social network. But there's hope.

Anyone else have a similar experience?
Click to expand...

Glad to hear that you received your proper diagnosis. Did you have to pay for your diagnosis or did you have insurance cover it? I am currently trying to get myself a formalized evaluation, but its not cheap.
 
Hi there and yes, I am going through it now, with my psychiatrist.

My husband has to be there, due to the fact that we live in France and he speaks and understands a lot more than me and thus, is mostly my translater. Anyway, he actually stated the "symptoms" of aspergers to the therapist, without spelling it out and it may have gone further, until my husband goes and says that I am a survivor of abuse and bang, that good bye diagnosist and I am just too scared of being laughed at to actually bring it up myself, but very interestingly, one of my new medicines is to calm autistic traits. Of course, me being me, has blown this way out of proportion, so I have to be careful.

France does not even recognise aspergers as separate from autism and at best, I would have more chance if I was a guy! So, I do hope, in effect, that I will fall into him having a light bulb moment lol

Like you, I have always been on the edge of society; I look fairly normal and yet, when I talk, it is evident that there is something not quite right about me and for years, I have tried to battle this sense being apart and wanting to be a part of life.

I spent number of years hating being surprised with a question and could never figure out why? It is only now I see it was due to not being able to be "normal" with my reply and always getting a look of: what the heck is wrong with you?

When I was a child, I hated the sun. I had no idea why? I felt panicky when the sun was shining, because it always caused me a sort of blindness and would send me into major panicks and then, just by chance, I got my first pair of sunglasses and realised that with the glasses, I felt at peace. It is only NOW, that I see why I could not deal with the sun. It was due to brightness overload ie sensory. If I had to choose between sunglasses and my phone, sunglasses would win! And I love my phone, because of how practical it is.
 
Panthro said:
Glad to hear that you received your proper diagnosis. Did you have to pay for your diagnosis or did you have insurance cover it? I am currently trying to get myself a formalized evaluation, but its not cheap.
Click to expand...

No, it's not cheap. My psychiatrist is very kind, so he writes off half of the fee for me, because I don't have insurance.

Still, I pay $75 for 45 minutes. You can go the route of psychiatric clinics, which have a waiting list of 6 months around here.
 
Panthro said:
Glad to hear that you received your proper diagnosis. Did you have to pay for your diagnosis or did you have insurance cover it? I am currently trying to get myself a formalized evaluation, but its not cheap.
Click to expand...


Yes, the evaluation I got cost $75USD. I prepared all of the notes, perfectly organized (typical), and it was time & money well spent. It only took one session for my diagnosis.
 
MrsPB said:
Yes, the evaluation I got cost $75USD. I prepared all of the notes, perfectly organized (typical), and it was time & money well spent. It only took one session for my diagnosis.
Click to expand...

Wow! You're lucky! I had psychiatrists asking for over $2,000 to do an ASD evaluation. Are you in the US? If so, what state?
 
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