As you enter a world of your own [Important research]

[Erik]

Hello. I am doing some research for personal purposes, whereas I couldn't find allot of research nor anything that had been documented spesificly about this, it's really important for me and every response counts. (If you have something you think might be in interest please let me know).
I know that allot of people that aren't on the spectrum tend to do this as well, but especially those with a spectrum disorder.

I know allot of us on the spectrum(not necessarily everyone) tend to enter our own little world where one can think so very deeply about a thing to extreme detail, becoming quite detatched from everything going on around us, entering our own little world. I'd like to know, what you think about? Do you ever philosophize, think allot about your existence, why you're here, enternity and so on? Have you ever felt an extreme emotional detatchment from everyone around you, as you're the only person in the world due to some sort of an inability to relate to others, just feeling very lonely like that? If you have I'm very interested in listening to what you've got to say. The reason why I'm doing this is because I'm extremely afraid to lose my brother. He has High functioning autism and he's become more and more detatched from us lately, and it's brought him to tears as he is so afraid of his own thoughts, he wants it to stop because he's afraid he'll end up killing himself and others, he is afraid of himself. The first time he experienced this was when he used to philosophize allot as a child, the first time he felt this extreme emotional detatchment and just overall detatchment from the world he was eight, and he has been extremely afraid of it coming back as it got worse and worse when he grew older. The questions and thoughts that scared him was "How do I know this isn't just all up in my own mind?" "How do I know there are other people with individual thougts as I can't see what others think" "how do I know they are real", "how do I know they are not". And what else that really bothers him is enternity, he tells me thats the plot, that's what makes him feel this extreme emotional detatchment, because he feels like he has this deeper understanding of what it means. He is a fraid of his own mind. He feels as if he has some sort of further understanding of what it means, that he lives it.
From the research I've done I don't think this is Schizophrenia, I don't think it's psychosis, I don't think it's any dissociative disorder, but it DOES sound like a mixture of some dissociative disorder/asperger/psychosis. But he's afraid that because we couldn't find anything that perfectly described his situation they would reject him, not believe his thoughts were real, not understand him, cause he thinks this is all real that he just has a deeper understanding of the world and how things make sense he sees patterns in mathematics, physics, he just sees how everything (physics) make sense and so on, and I think this whole thing has something to do with his autism, because I know it's quite common autistic people develop these skills, or more common than it is for allistics.
[My brother used to detatch himself like this especially at night time where his thoughts would be come so overwhelming he some times passed out]
If you would be interested in telling me about your own experience on this please message me, feel free to make the message as long as you want. You can use my brothers story and the questions I asked earlier to help you write it? You can message me as well, you can post a reply on the forum. This is extremely important to me, and extremely helpfull.

 

[Randomperson]

Okay first off, since he does have thoughts he is afraid of involving hurting others and himself, seeing a professional would be highly called for here, for his own welfare. I say this from a stand point of having had thoughts of hurting myself when I was younger and not getting professional help, and ended up hurting myself.

I will also say that after many years and much painful self reflection I do not think about hurting myself or others anymore, and I have not for quite a few years, but it may have been a much shorter and less painful process if I had had some help.

 

[apsie]

Has your Brother ever had seisures? Or has he ever mentioned having lots of ''deja'vu'' feelings?
Does he have OCD?

 

[apsie]

Do you ever philosophize, think allot about your existence, why you're here, enternity and so on? Have you ever felt an extreme emotional detatchment from everyone around you, as you're the only person in the world due to some sort of an inability to relate to others, just feeling very lonely like that?

The first time he experienced this was when he used to philosophize allot as a child, the first time he felt this extreme emotional detatchment and just overall detatchment from the world he was eight, and he has been extremely afraid of it coming back as it got worse and worse when he grew older. The questions and thoughts that scared him was "How do I know this isn't just all up in my own mind?" "How do I know there are other people with individual thougts as I can't see what others think" "how do I know they are real", "how do I know they are not". And what else that really bothers him is enternity, he tells me thats the plot, that's what makes him feel this extreme emotional detatchment, because he feels like he has this deeper understanding of what it means.

But he's afraid that because we couldn't find anything that perfectly described his situation they would reject him, not believe his thoughts were real, not understand him, cause he thinks this is all real that he just has a deeper understanding of the world and how things make sense he sees patterns in mathematics, physics, he just sees how everything (physics) make sense and so on,

What I put in bold is what I can relate to, I experience(d) the same (I think).
I think the key here, with your brother, is that he has a deep understanding of the material world/physics.
He pieces information he finds together really well because he sees patterns. He's able to piece together part of the massive puzzle.
This understanding comes at a cost.
Physics makes sense, it has to. If it doesn't, we wouldn't know what we know.
People, as in individuals do not make make sense in the way physics does. People are irrational, illogical and emotional.
I think he's trying to understand humans in the way he understands physics (in a broad sense), because thats how the universe makes sense, its what he knows.
What he doesn't know is how and why humans "tick" the way they do.
All he can relate to in this context is himself, because how DO you know there are other people with individual thougts as you can't see what others think.
If nobody else sees what you see, thinks how you think, you start doubting everything about yourself and everything you know.
Emotional detatchement is what follows.

If physics is true, and/but daily life with daily struggles and people around you don't seem work the same way, how can what I know be true/real.
Nobody seems to make sense. Its like the universal rules and truths don't apply to others.
If the pieces don't fit, something is wrong.
I still struggle greatly with this, however delving in to psychology and neurology has given me more understanding and helps me cope.
Its all rather depressing, and its hard to pull yourself out of it as is common with depression.

You could be able to help your brother by helping him find things that allow him to make sense of it all, like psychology etc...

 

[Ylva]

I think all the time, even when I don't. If he's a teenager, having compulsive thoughts wouldn't be all that unusual. At least I used to have them; I slowly learned to will myself to turn my focus onto other things. I guess it doesn't matter how old he is if he hasn't learned this yet.

Get him professional help anyway, though.

 

[AsheSkyler]

The only part I can fully relate to is how he's afraid that since there is no clean-cut label to fit him, everybody will think he's just faking or something and not take him seriously. Autistic or allistic, most people really don't appreciate shades of grey or blendings of different things. Maybe he just simply needs a lot of love and support, and he's some kind of math genius in the making? I echo the therapy thing though, whatever it may entail. To drastically oversimply it, I think he just needs needs some reassurance.

Sometimes when I'm having a really deep think session, I do look around and feel like I'm looking through something else's eyes, like I'm some kind of strange spirit that's possessed somebody's body, and feel like I don't belong, like I have ruined some girl's life by keeping her body to myself, and that I'm some kind of strange observer caught between worlds. But it doesn't last long and I'm "reunited" with my body again and get on with my life. It doesn't lead me to violent or morbid thoughts though, it really kicks in my curious and explorer side.

 

[Erik]

Has your Brother ever had seisures? Or has he ever mentioned having lots of ''deja'vu'' feelings?
Does he have OCD?

Yes he has mentioned lots of deja vu feelings... I doesn't seem to have OCD and quite doesn't fit the symptoms of OCD either. Never has he had a seizure either, not that I know of, I will ask later on about that.

We do have proffesional help, we used to take him to a psychiatrist, but they werent really very nice there, when his suicidal thoughts got stronger they just cancelled him out, telling us that they werent there to help him only to get a diagnosis, which is quite the opposite of what they told us a long while ago. They would also lie to him and treat him horribly there. Well after things got bad he had to stay at the mental hospital(?) sorry about my english, after that there was no help. We got to talk to some people that were supposed to help him in school but there werent any resources for that, he dropped out due to bullying and becoming overwhelmed there is just no resources for him, they say. Now we just got him a new psychiatrist but he has allot of problems getting words out so it's hard to help him..
Thank you all for your answers, I really apriciate it.

 

[apsie]

Those deja vu feelings can be a strong indication of a form of epilepsie.
Its essentially a minor short circuit of part of the brain.
To me it occurs when there's to much stimuli, or when I'm very deep in my mind thinking about something.
It may not be the cause of allot of your brothers issues, but it can certainly make them worse if he's not aware of whats happening.

I can immagine he has little Faith in psychologists if one has been feeding him lies...

 

[Spiller]

The questions and thoughts that scared him was "How do I know this isn't just all up in my own mind?" "How do I know there are other people with individual thougts as I can't see what others think" "how do I know they are real", "how do I know they are not".

I spent much of my teenage zoning out & thinking about stuff like this.. for years I was sure my life was 'The Trueman Show', (long before that film came out) & everyone else was either not real, or in on it!
Later I spent years watching the stars, convinced that my real alien family would come to Earth & rescue me..
Never had anyone to talk to about my thoughts, so there in my head they stayed & got comfy..
I wonder now if it's lack of peer contact. I think that NT's are constantly keeping in tune with each other, so their likes, thoughts, dress sense, behavior, etc, fall within the 'social norm'.
I can't do that, so as there's nowhere else to be, I live inside my own head so much of the time that the places I go & people I see there are almost more real to me; there, crazy little ideas can spiral up into large beliefs.. and I wouldn't know

 

[Kivvi_Kindi]

I've had this kind of experience often. It seems related to something like depersonalization disorder... Basically lots of existential questions, a feeling of being detached from your own body and experiences, almost like an observer instead of a participant. For me it's always there, but the intensity fluctuates. I've never been depressed, per se, but it does give me a sort of cynical outlook on whatever situation I'm in because I see it as a petty problem in the whole scheme of things and myself as a fickle person for caring. I laugh at myself sometimes because of it.
For me, it's not as much "How do I know things are real," as "Why do I care," but I definitely see where your brother is coming from. Sadly I can't really offer advice because I'm still trying to figure it out myself. But I agree that it's probably not psychosis or anything. It's more like you're split between your rational self that's reminding you that this is a self-defeating pattern of thought, and this other side. But the fact that I can tell the difference distinguishes it from psychosis, I think.
Like your brother, it started for me when I was pretty young (I don't know exactly when but I don't remember ever not having these types of thoughts). In hindsight, I think I probably made it worse unknowingly because when I was younger I was very Stoic and wouldn't admit emotions and was very afraid of failure (I still am to some extent), so I tried to detach myself from situations where my emotions might have been involved to protect myself from disappointment or sadness. I wonder if others like your brother might have done similar things...
Well, good luck to you and your brother! I'm glad you're doing this research for him; that's really nice of you.

 

[Etzelaire]

I analyse whatever tiny event that comes up. Today the teacher in class was talking and I was thinking about how a mass of atoms had the power of transmiting information created unnecessarily to me.