Hi. I am a mom of 7 years old ASD boy. He has always been a very outgoing, active child with clear ideas about what he wants to do. He is homeschooled so his environment is under his/our control with many choices and opportunities for social communication if he wants. Recent changes include moving to a new house (he has been part of purchasing process from the beginning and approved the house) and getting a nanny (he established great contact with her right away). Suddenly (~2 weeks after the changes happened), he lost any interest in anything including self-care, eating and sleeping. He wakes up at night saying he is scared and needs help. Reassuring his that ghosts don’t exist or not in the house does not help. He calls nanny to help. It’s been a month and we can’t figure out how to help him to get over this crisis. Please advise!!!
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ASD child regressed over night
- Thread starter Tatimax
- Start date
Sounds frustrating. Change is so difficult. As an adult, after a big move five years ago, once the excitement and wonder of moving wore off, I fell into a deep slump for a while. But things definitely got better and I am happy now. I know two months feels like a long time, but maybe this is still the adjustment period.
Do you have the resources for some kind of pet? I can’t recall if you’ve mentioned that you already have any, but even something small like a gecko, a hamster, or something that doesn’t require too much work. For me, having an animal around can always decrease my anxiety and the responsibility of taking care of it can translate into responsibilities of taking care of myself.
Is your son able to express himself well verbally? Can you talk a little about the grief and loss of old things, like an old bedroom, an old routine, an old house and address some feelings that he may be having about all the changes?
Do you have the resources for some kind of pet? I can’t recall if you’ve mentioned that you already have any, but even something small like a gecko, a hamster, or something that doesn’t require too much work. For me, having an animal around can always decrease my anxiety and the responsibility of taking care of it can translate into responsibilities of taking care of myself.
Is your son able to express himself well verbally? Can you talk a little about the grief and loss of old things, like an old bedroom, an old routine, an old house and address some feelings that he may be having about all the changes?
Just an opinion here based upon what you've described and my own experiences:
As a child, my family moved around a lot, different schools, I was frequently the "new kid" in school with all the stress from that, different houses, different environments. Throw in an ASD condition (undiagnosed at the time), with the usual sleep disruptions, anxieties, laying awake mind racing over this and that. I was exhausted and stressed.
Well, now, I know a few facts. The autistic brain is often working "overtime" due to an excess of excitatory neurotransmitters. The brain keeps firing away, leading to repetitive and intrusive thoughts, special interests, and even physical effects like "stimming". Many of us have enlarged amygdala's (fear centers), and I don't know what came first, "the chicken or the egg" here, but the social and emotional processing centers are often altered leading to underlying anxieties and depressive states. This is sometimes "subclinical", but present, nonetheless. The brain, at some point, will become overwhelmed and try to protect itself by selectively shutting down "non-essential" functions. What we see is first, the signs and symptoms of stress, "autistic burnout", followed by what we call an "autistic shutdown". As an adult, I can pick up on these signs and symptoms, and need to self-regulate with self-imposed "time outs". So, at work, for example, I might slip away into a break room, rest room, or locker room, take 10-15 minutes, "chill out", grab a drink, relax, then go back to work. As a child, what you may witness is "avoidance behaviors" of one form or another.
All I can suggest is that he did his best for the first 2 weeks, now his brain is has had enough and needs to rest and regain its composure.
Helpful things on your end will be to look at his diet, as the "gut-brain axis" does play a role. Don't try to eliminate, but do practice some sugar/carbohydrate restriction. Carbohydrates cause insulin spikes (causing cerebral vasodilation) and are pro-inflammatory (cerebral edema), so NOT having that pressure inside his skull will help. A broad-spectrum probiotic will often help over the long-term. L-theanine is a good over-the-counter supplement that increases the uptake/conversion of glutamine/glutamic acid (one of the primary excitatory neurotransmitters). GABA can help the gut, and to a lesser extent, the brain (as it has a difficult time crossing the blood-brain barrier).
As a child, my family moved around a lot, different schools, I was frequently the "new kid" in school with all the stress from that, different houses, different environments. Throw in an ASD condition (undiagnosed at the time), with the usual sleep disruptions, anxieties, laying awake mind racing over this and that. I was exhausted and stressed.
Well, now, I know a few facts. The autistic brain is often working "overtime" due to an excess of excitatory neurotransmitters. The brain keeps firing away, leading to repetitive and intrusive thoughts, special interests, and even physical effects like "stimming". Many of us have enlarged amygdala's (fear centers), and I don't know what came first, "the chicken or the egg" here, but the social and emotional processing centers are often altered leading to underlying anxieties and depressive states. This is sometimes "subclinical", but present, nonetheless. The brain, at some point, will become overwhelmed and try to protect itself by selectively shutting down "non-essential" functions. What we see is first, the signs and symptoms of stress, "autistic burnout", followed by what we call an "autistic shutdown". As an adult, I can pick up on these signs and symptoms, and need to self-regulate with self-imposed "time outs". So, at work, for example, I might slip away into a break room, rest room, or locker room, take 10-15 minutes, "chill out", grab a drink, relax, then go back to work. As a child, what you may witness is "avoidance behaviors" of one form or another.
All I can suggest is that he did his best for the first 2 weeks, now his brain is has had enough and needs to rest and regain its composure.
Helpful things on your end will be to look at his diet, as the "gut-brain axis" does play a role. Don't try to eliminate, but do practice some sugar/carbohydrate restriction. Carbohydrates cause insulin spikes (causing cerebral vasodilation) and are pro-inflammatory (cerebral edema), so NOT having that pressure inside his skull will help. A broad-spectrum probiotic will often help over the long-term. L-theanine is a good over-the-counter supplement that increases the uptake/conversion of glutamine/glutamic acid (one of the primary excitatory neurotransmitters). GABA can help the gut, and to a lesser extent, the brain (as it has a difficult time crossing the blood-brain barrier).
This is where my thoughts were going, too. Sounds like he’s been holding it together as best he can, but the stress and anxiety always comes out eventually.
Suggestion?
You can't convince a 7 year old that ghosts are not real.
A better strategy is to give the child the belief that they can handle the things that scare them.
When my kids were young, I bought a little spray bottle, put a "Ghost Repellent" label on it, filled it with water, and gave it to my kid.
When the "ghost" came, she sprayed it with magic water, and felt like a hero.
You can't convince a 7 year old that ghosts are not real.
A better strategy is to give the child the belief that they can handle the things that scare them.
When my kids were young, I bought a little spray bottle, put a "Ghost Repellent" label on it, filled it with water, and gave it to my kid.
When the "ghost" came, she sprayed it with magic water, and felt like a hero.
Dagan
Well-Known Member
Definitely, at young ages (speaking on the experience watching mine when younger), when there is burnout, their minds can turn anything seen or heard into something of an extreme.
I second a possible creation of a physical coping mechanism for a safety net (ghost "away"). Spray bottle, water gun, magic rock/crystal, magic night light, flashlight (torch per you UK folks), etc.
Per half of my heritage, actually, we have things called dreamcatchers and many stories of their power and helpfulness. This kind of nurturing apparently goes back quite a ways in history.
I second a possible creation of a physical coping mechanism for a safety net (ghost "away"). Spray bottle, water gun, magic rock/crystal, magic night light, flashlight (torch per you UK folks), etc.
Per half of my heritage, actually, we have things called dreamcatchers and many stories of their power and helpfulness. This kind of nurturing apparently goes back quite a ways in history.
Good that you involved your son in the pre-purchase house hunt, @Tatimax , etc. Even if a 7 year old says they're ok with an upcoming big change, saying something and experiencing something are two entirely different things. He will likely just need time to go through this adjustment and perhaps he'll end up needing more time that many other kids would need.
I remember when I was a new and ignorant father I was tired of our little kids taking only a few bites of an apple and then letting the rest go to waste. After awhile when they'd ask for an apple I would ask them if they were prepared to eat the whole apple (save the core of course). They said they were. I went a step further and asked them to promise out loud that they would eat the whole apple: "I promise I will eat the whole apple." ........nothing changed. They still only ate a few bites. I was incensed.
It was only later that I realized their reality as a young child and mine were not the same. Adults can't expect young children to act like or think like adults. That was a major mistake on my part as a new dad (ie thinking since they would converse well and understand language that they could also process information like an adult).
I remember when I was a new and ignorant father I was tired of our little kids taking only a few bites of an apple and then letting the rest go to waste. After awhile when they'd ask for an apple I would ask them if they were prepared to eat the whole apple (save the core of course). They said they were. I went a step further and asked them to promise out loud that they would eat the whole apple: "I promise I will eat the whole apple." ........nothing changed. They still only ate a few bites. I was incensed.
It was only later that I realized their reality as a young child and mine were not the same. Adults can't expect young children to act like or think like adults. That was a major mistake on my part as a new dad (ie thinking since they would converse well and understand language that they could also process information like an adult).
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Definitely beyond any advice I could give. Just a note, that we are for the most part on the spectrum ourselves. The rest are family, spouses, friends of autists. If it was me, and nothing me or my wife worked I would likely contact professionals for assistance.
Life can get scary sometimes, and even adult aspies regress from time to time. Love your child, and make the home a happy, secure place. Rhythms and routines will make your child very happy and secure. Sameness every day. Happy faces, family time.
Also, homeschooled kids from time to time need to take a month off to stare out the window, imagine, read books, collect interesting rocks, bugs, and leaves, and to fortify their action figure armies.
50 percent of classroom time is just getting the kids to settle down. So homeschool kids are advanced past their peers, needing only a couple hours of work per day, a few days a week.
Methinks he's telling you to make a shift in routines. Give him a month off, and work on getting him happy and settled. Maybe trips to the park, museums, or just long drives would be nice too. Most learning happens outside the classroom. Fill his life with wonder, and learning will happen, naturally.
And PS, Rudolph Steiner published some great works on holistic early learning.
Also, homeschooled kids from time to time need to take a month off to stare out the window, imagine, read books, collect interesting rocks, bugs, and leaves, and to fortify their action figure armies.
50 percent of classroom time is just getting the kids to settle down. So homeschool kids are advanced past their peers, needing only a couple hours of work per day, a few days a week.
Methinks he's telling you to make a shift in routines. Give him a month off, and work on getting him happy and settled. Maybe trips to the park, museums, or just long drives would be nice too. Most learning happens outside the classroom. Fill his life with wonder, and learning will happen, naturally.
And PS, Rudolph Steiner published some great works on holistic early learning.
Dagan
Well-Known Member
Also, very true per the learning outside and elsewhere. My kids were homeschooled until they chose public schools just before their high school ages. We got a lot of there history lessons in by hitting up museums. During the week days, it's definitely better and not so overwhelming for them. A lot less noisy, even.
annO
️©
And movement! It's torture to sit in a chair all day, under florescent lights, listening to someone talk ALL DAY.
Great info here. Our community center had a homeschooled group and we would meet and use pool together. Also l met up with another homeschool family and we do things together. Just scheduling a day out to go to the museum is fun.
The other suggestion, is they have great little cozy tents that fit over mattresses and give a cocoon feeling. String some cute nite lights, maybe a little tray with a water cup for night time will relieve stress, and nite lights in bathroom and plugged in around room also help.
The other suggestion, is they have great little cozy tents that fit over mattresses and give a cocoon feeling. String some cute nite lights, maybe a little tray with a water cup for night time will relieve stress, and nite lights in bathroom and plugged in around room also help.
@Hypnalis does bring up a good point here.
Perhaps another possibility. You had mentioned "his ghosts". For about 4-5 years, from say, the ages of 4-8, or so, I would often have hallucinations and night terrors. I would swear I was completely awake and lucid, but "people", 2 or more, would be walking around my bedroom, talking, etc. I didn't know these people. They never were there to harm me, per se, but it was very real. I would hide under my covers in terror, and sometimes I would be afraid to go to bed. I was also a sleep walker. I would "climb" my walls. I would wake up in bed fully dressed. Sometimes these events would happen within a few hours of me going to bed. Sometimes these events would happen in the early morning hours, just as the sun peaked through my windows.
What little I understand is that these experiences are often rooted within the temporal lobe.
I don't know if this applies here, but if so, then sleep deprivation and/or a developing temporal lobe experience may be present.
Perhaps another possibility. You had mentioned "his ghosts". For about 4-5 years, from say, the ages of 4-8, or so, I would often have hallucinations and night terrors. I would swear I was completely awake and lucid, but "people", 2 or more, would be walking around my bedroom, talking, etc. I didn't know these people. They never were there to harm me, per se, but it was very real. I would hide under my covers in terror, and sometimes I would be afraid to go to bed. I was also a sleep walker. I would "climb" my walls. I would wake up in bed fully dressed. Sometimes these events would happen within a few hours of me going to bed. Sometimes these events would happen in the early morning hours, just as the sun peaked through my windows.
What little I understand is that these experiences are often rooted within the temporal lobe.
I don't know if this applies here, but if so, then sleep deprivation and/or a developing temporal lobe experience may be present.
This is absolutely not meant to blame @Tatimax, but I wonder if the stress of the caregivers could also be contributing to the situation.
Moving is typically an extremely stressful event for any adult, and as much as you are trying to take care for your son, @Tatimax, it’s possible that this move has affected you as well and your son is responding to that.
When children are picking up any sort of unsettledness or stress in their caregivers, this can exacerbate extant fears and worries.
Hi Everyone! Let me just start with saying how grateful I am for all your input, support and responding. We cancelled all school activities and reduced outdoor activities to 1-2 events per week as he prefers to stay home for now. I am happy to report that while we still have issues my son’s sleep pattern is progressing towards right direction (no nightmares, ghosts) and he is getting 8-9 hours of sleep for the last 3 nights. He is eating now (but I am feeling him) and we went for a walk along a river close by to the house. we are getting there 
. Special thanks to @Rodafina for supplements advice. My son is amazing and I know that he has the power to change the world for better I just want to make sure I am there for him and can help. Thanks a lot!
. Special thanks to @Rodafina for supplements advice. My son is amazing and I know that he has the power to change the world for better I just want to make sure I am there for him and can help. Thanks a lot!New Threads
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